tommy p was on colbert

Way to represent central VA you sexy bitch!!!

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Indecision 2010 - Revenge of the Fallen - Tom Perriello
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes 2010 Election March to Keep Fear Alive

BO's invading my life

Well the big BO has been and will be invading my life all this week. Apparently he is flying down to the big Cville to make an appearance for that sexy Tommy P on Friday night. That means that Cville will be even more of a shitshow than normal with a football weekend. There will be liberals running around in Birkenstocks and then a bunch of other people with good teabags attached to their signs. Staying away from that business, and will try to use some strategry to get myself out of Cville and successfully into the district.

I also just caught up with his appearance on JonStew, in preparation for the big Rallies up in DC this weekend. The BO is one of the calmest people I've even seen. Ven-like, seriously. Here is the 60 second run down of that interview:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
10/27/10 in :60 Seconds
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Rally to Restore Sanity

JT's still got it

Well Justin had the number one movie in the country for weeks now (still need to see Social Network), and although he brought sexy back circa 2006, he hasn't come out with a new album since. Of course, he has teamed up with Timbaland and others for some classic clubs songs. But the man's still got some talent....check out this live acoustic mash up from last weekend with Ain't No Sunshine:



This was a benefit concert for the Shiner's hospital in Vegas. That is even more hot.

business in the front, party in the back

Nope I'm not talking about the years of fun during the 80s with Mullets....but here is a sign from a church that uses the mullet approach to policing their public areas. Apparently this building gives alot of services to various members of the community:

like a G6

Sooo the song of my long trip to NC was that new club bootie shakin tune, "Like a G6!" I swear everytime I got in the car I heard this song or the new Taylor Swift one. This song has been a number one download on iTunes for weeks now. This one is the new hot club tune that everyone is dancing too:

quote of the day

Well I had a great conversation with Helga this afternoon where she stated:

• "F me in the A and make me a bush"

Can you guess what we were talking about??? I bet you'll never EVER get it...

On a related note, someone asked me this today and it got me wondering. So here is your question of the day:

• "Who would win in a fight: captain morgan? or captain crunch?"
  

give me a hot tottie

Hhaha, I just heard the new Usher and Jay-Z song called, Hot Tottie!!! Hahaha, hot tottie. That is soooo my late Grandma. She used to say this all the time "I need a hot tottie" or "I think we should cap the night off with a hot tottie." I, like the grand-daughter I should be, always use the term "Hot tottie" for when I put booze in any warm drink (OK occasionally a cold drink too!). Case and point, last night with warmed apple cider and jack daniels. Yum!

Well anyways here is the new song with alot of classic J interludes:



Loves it...HOT TOTTIES for everyone!!!

it is truly horrifying

Well here is a picture of the day that made me giggle. This was taken at Wallie World where apparently they are NOT paying attention to how they are filling their shelves. I personally do not find quilting that THRILLING, but I bet Momma B does. She spends all her time in her quilting room these days, including emailing me pictures out the window of the pooper suckers. Some might find quilting scarey, griping, or riveting, but I think most of us would have to disagree with this categorization:

C-SPAN I like to watch

Well recently the internets produced a video clip from C-SPAN which was a conversation that actually kept me entertained. If these were the type of discussions happening, I'd watch more!!! For a "Public Affairs Network," your shit just got all public with who you were sleeping with and what you've been doing. This guy delivers his monologue so well that he should definitely be acting on some soaps or drama shows. What some major inappropriateness happening here:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

for helga and you cat lovin fools

So my lovely Helga keeps sending me these stupid cat videos where they play the piano or stuff themselves in a box. All things that make me want to throw up a little in my mouth. BUT I just found a cat video I could get on board with. This one has a British accent (yes please), has swearing (give me more), and involves office-related humor. I can't tell you how often this shit happens in my office, minus the cat. Brilliant and for you, Helga:



Looking forward to rubbing my feet on you in just 7 mere days!!!! See, I'm dry humping you virally right now. HOT!!!

UPDATE: Ash, my office-mate, just IMed to add this amazing comment:

• "that is so you in cat form!! hahah"
• Apparently she can totally see me saying "what do you mean no paper - theres a whole bloody ream!"
  

dirrty weather

MOooohHAHAHAhahahah....there are some t-storms pentrating Texxxasss:

BO agrees, It Gets Better

It's been a rough week or two for teen suicide and bullying, specially as it relates to GLBT youth. So sad. Celebrities and bullied individuals across the world have sat down at their webcams to create personal videos for the "It gets better" campaign. Some of these videos are pretty inspiring and directed to people are in the worse part of their lives, who are teased or taunted, who don't know the outside world, who feel as if they are alone and it will never get better. Earlier this week Hillary made a video and then I think BO got some crap too, so he made it part of his weekly podcast address. Yep, it will get better....

the lady does it again

Oh man I love me some Lady Gaga and her mccrazy outfits!!! She just stepped out in London yesterday wearing....wait for it....meat? (no that was an award show).......a red lacy veil? a fireworks bra??? (no, yet other award shows).....but a skirt made of hair!!!! What a complete nut ball. Lady Gaga is yet again going to be the most popular Halloween costume this year because everyday to her is like adult crazy dress up time. Brilliance, shear brilliance:

rental big bother via FB

So something happened awhile ago that for about 1/2 second made me want to join Facebook, but I quickly came to my senses! Today I read about some shit-and-a-half-fake-research that added to the "HELLS NO" list. Well here is a finding that won't be happening to me:

"The survey of 2,000 parents and teenagers by TRUSTe and Lightspeed Research found that 72% of parents check in on their teen’s social networking accounts at least once per month."

Well of course they do!!! And when you download the Foursquare or Gowalla, they will also be able to track your every move via GPS and your cell phone. LL is laying in bed, OR LL is grocery shopping, OR LL is in a downward dog.....all griping stuff! I can see why parents would be allll over that business.

But on the Facebook topic, it is quite possible that this t-shirt could happen to me:

takin it back to moustaches

Well this is certainly a picture of the day takes me back to that amazing moustache party (although you don't get all the pictures anyone because someone I know randomly decided to be a "serious" adult) ....

music of the moment

Well Taylor's new and third album is about to be released!! Her couple first songs off of it are pretty good. She is getting rave reviews so far. Here is "mean" which has a lovely country tune and some inspiring lyrics (i.e., mean, and pathetic, and liar, and alone in life):



Wait until you hear the one about John Mayer and about Taylor Launter.....

you're going to have neck problems

Well Will Smith's daughter, Willow, has released a single and apparently is trying to be a pop star. She looks alot like Will, almost to a freaky point of comparison. She is alittle young to be whip her hair like this. The girl is going to have neck problems in the future! Well this Whip My Hair song ain't no Gettin Jiggy Wit It, especially if I have to break my neck in order to dance to it:

picture of the day

I wonder what words I could substitute into this sign that would make me giggle even more, like maybe Kohl's = Yo Mom. Maybe next time Dick's should staple Barnes and Noble!

hello ladies

Well that Old Spice commercial is inspiring other companies:

Hello, ladies.

Look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me.

But if he stopped using ladies' scented body wash and switched to Axe, he could smell like an 8 year-old prostitute that washes his pits with Pine-Sol.

alcoholic rings

Well it was only a matter of time before someone took all my favorite cocktails and put them in some expensive bling bling. These rings have SITC written all over them--maybe they will make an appearance in the 3rd movie where they are all in the nursing home humping things :) In the meantime, us normal people can just enjoy the 1-3 carat Mojito, Whiskey on the Rocks, Cosmopolitan, White Tonic, Blue Ocean, and Blueberry Daiquiri rings from afar:

those smrt street people

I mentioned previously that there are some seriously creative people working for Sesame Street, and it turns out they are also gearing up for the winter season as well! I think these might be better as children's gear, but I know some adults who would be rock out with a Elmo on their head and hands (especially those with children). Not totally my style but sort of cute none-the-less:

observations from NC

Well it's been a different / rough week down here in the great state of NC, baby. I'm not sure I can completely articulate whether it has been good, bad or just so-so. But here are some observations:

• My hotel is a little cheap and mcshady, case and point: 1) the crime scene tape (which was really wet paint tape), 2) the hooker with really high heels in the parking lot, 3) the bitchy front desk person, 4) the guy singing opera/country tunes at 11 PM, 5) the neighbors watching porn until 2 AM. I'm an idiot and should be somewhere else more comfortable.
• Some call VA the south and now I've gone 5 hours more south, and I'm not sure I fit in. I'm tall, albino-ish white, and sassy. I don't like all the sun and have to chase children in it all afternoon, which consequently makes me pass out with exhaustion by 9 PM most nights.
  
• Perhaps this is due to all the True Blood I've been watching, but I swear I walked into a Saloon (seriously not a bar, but a saloon) and the bar person asked "you knew around here?" I seriously stick out like a sore thumb.
  
• I need yoga in my life and when I don't get it my body rejects me (it reminds me to breath in and out). I finally made it to a class the other day and it totally changed my outlook on life for at least 4 hours.
• This is no where near a relaxing trip for me, and I have no extra time to sight see or enjoy myself. Other work trips I haven't been in charge of the data collection, so this time I'm seeing all the things we need to do and working on conference calls into the evenings with our team. This weekend will be no different with an 8 hour training on Sunday and calls tomorrow. Sad.
• My coordinator got into a car accident yesterday, totaling her car and adding to the amount of work things I'm going to have to work on this weekend. She is OK, thank god.
• I've been cooking up a storm in my shit suite hotel, including green curry, spaghetti and a salmon naked burrito tonight.
  
• Not answering your phone for a couple days leads to people texting you "ARE YOU ALIVE?" in caps....which isn't easy to text :)

Here's hoping the next week will be less weird or off for me....

music of the moment

I've been a fan of Bon Iver, the north WI band, for awhile now. They have some neo-soulful music which I like to chill to. They recently received a star at 1st Ave. in Minney and have also collaborated with St. Vincent and up coming with Kanye. I enjoy them very much. Here is one of their EPs (fan made video is definitely shot in WI/MN on 94):

attention crackers, randy's back

Well Randy "the freak" Moss is heading back to Minney to return as a Vik!!! Favre (former Packer) and Moss are now Viks....whoever would have thought. Back in early 2000's Randy was a real class act running over cops in downtown and running his mouth. Check out some of his greatest hits, including but not limited to his "Straight Cash Homie!" comment. And Randy just launched his new Viks website this week....maybe he got to use the same skin from 10 years ago :) Yesterday I went back through some of my podcasts from 2002 with some very very funny skits about Randy, but I'll have to email me for the links since they are not available anymore.

Sooo we'll see what happens with Randy and what he'll do for the purple pride, but as he said in his press conference this week, "at least I wasn't on that boat!" True. True that.

smells like a new spice

Well the Old Spice company has embarked in an amazingly updated advertisement campaign year with a hot hot hot man. This ain't your grandpa's oddly smelling cologne anymore! These ads grabbed attention across all demographics after the Superbowl last year and throughout this summer:




And the commercials have also reached all the way to Sesame Street where they just released a segment parading the ads. Once again muppets (momma? momma? you-who!) or the creators of stuffed creators have their finger on the pulse of pop culture. Thanks for making me laugh you telemarketers and children's show writers:



Look at yourself and now back to me, I smell like a monster.

missing a plug

Well I've mentioned, in passing, that my eye sight is shit (mostly due to Lupus medicine side effects) but that I also have chronic dry eye. Seriously, my eyes are always red and dry and sucking the life out of me, where even the other day a colleague/friend at work asked if I was smoking it up. Ha, I wish, it would probably be much more enjoyable.

Well anyways, last year I chronicled my new eye doctor experiences where they decided to put eye (/butt) plugs in my eye sockets. My friend, B (not McBetty but the other one), reminded me about this classic conversation a year ago where I met her husband and just kept talking about the butt plugs in my eyes :) I guess he was sold on me after that. Ahhh, good times.

During my return eye doctor appointment the other week I found out that one of my eye (/butt) plugs has fallen out. She asked me "have you noticed that your right eye is drier than the other?" Really? I don't pay that much attention, they are always dry, hooker. So apparently, I have only had one plug in for awhile....I've been lop-sided. But don't worry I'm on it and going to get re-plugged!!!

Everyone needs a good eye (/butt) plug!

heading back to the carolinas

Well I've been gearing up to make my way back down to Charlotte, NC for a couple work heavy weeks tomorrow. I have 8 outfits of dress pants and shirts laid out on my couch right now. I packed a Styrofoam of cooler of wine, can goods, and rice/noodles so I can cook in my studio apartment rental the next 2 weeks. As I told Momma B today, I'm working hard to make some money off that food per diem :) I'm loading up the plastic pinto tomorrow morning and hopefully taking the beautiful back country VA and NC roads down to the city.

I have a 7:30 AM appointment at a preschool on Monday morning for a 7 hour observation session. Unfortunately, my coordinator booked me in the preschool that is 30 miles outside the city and out of the 45 teachers we are working with, this one is the only one NOT within the Charlotte city limits. Typical. Rude.

Next Friday, Saturday and Sunday I'm leading two separately trainings, one locally in Charlotte and one remotely with someone in Rhode Island. Plus I am remotely re-certifying 6 other observers across the country via email/our website. Seriously, I get some major work related gold stars for this shit. I'm playing next week by ear but there is a good chance I won't make it back to the big Cville until at least the 20th or 21th. Mark your calendars bitches, you are going to be without a LL sass until the end of the month (and then it is beach vacay time!).

Look out Charlotte, I'm a'coming! Grid your loins.

GO COCKS!!!

Everyone needs more Cocks in their lives....seriously, I'm a Cocks fan and frankly you should be too. Why? Because today they beat the number one team in the country with the most douchiest coach alive. Nick Saban and his hair plugs can suck it (who leaves a team between season and their bowl??? douche). Bama had it coming, you just can't be that good for that long.

I went home today from my dog sitting duties to watch the MSU/MI game, only to realize that I now live in the "south" which roughly equates to me not being able pick up any game remotely in "yankee land." Soooo I had to default to watching that amazing Univ. of South (or North--all the same to me) Carolina game and put on my "COCKS" sweatshirt. I called M in B-more to make sure he was aware of where my default alliances fell. Turns out, I was the tipping point and that a-mazing USC team pulled it out. All American football fans thank you (especially us spartans). GO COCKS!!!!

PS, I like how ESPN says "Here's Comes the Rooster" as it's homepage headline. Hahaha, it can't write COCKS. I do think cocks are different then roosters, but I'm not the farmer and I don't live in the dell.

add a meatball to my taco

Sooo I was just reading about how spaghetti tacos are becoming a hit for little tweens and consequently their parents. It all started as a joke on a popular Nick show, and now they are making there way to restaurant menus (like when I used to order Spaghetti O's at Finleys when I was younger and poppa B would get so pissed!). Nutritionists are worried that there is not enough fruits and veggies in the meal, but generally support the combining of ethnic food groups. I wonder what other foods I could combine:

• Sushi hamburger
• Pizza eggroll
• Curried burrito

What other odd food combinations could we start???? Hmmmm....

music of the moment

So I didn't like this song as first but it has grown on me, and it keeps getting stuck in my head. Wished I hadn't missed that concert this summer, would have been good:

spreading the awkwardness

Well I'm having a great Saturday of packing and relaxing, and reading my new favorite website, Awkward Family Photos. Such great weird things families do together and then get pictorial evidence. Why do couples who are preggers take such awkward pictures?? Just browse those this site and they will make you cringe.

I don't think my family had too many of these photos, or at least that I've seen, but this one struck a cord. I think the sewing girls may have had something like this back in the day....where we made clothing out of the curtains (a little VanTrapp family-ish) with entirely too much floral:



Awkward, definitely awkward....

highlights of my day

• First pumpkin spiced latte of the season. Absolute heaven.
• Love notes on the plastic pinto at work. Hump, hump, hump.
• Getting bootie slapped randomly at the gym (OK, OK it was someone I knew but at first with was slap'n go which I thoroughly enjoyed).
  
• Roasting a chicken in the crock pot (poppa b would be so proud that I got it for 99 cents a pound, and paid attention to this). More evidence fall is here....LL crockpot creations and soups.
• I started downloading the 4 gigs of music and 100 gigs of videos I "borrowed" from T/D/C2 on Sunday. Bring on all the True Blood seasons, since I can't do hardcopy or audio books.
• Visiting 2 of my favorite local preschools and making a teacher almost cry with appreciation of our work. Joy.
  
• Picked up my new glasses! The new sun glasses = slight Olsen twins tendency. I got a new prescription where I can see again, makes driving less fun without the bluryness though.
• Getting a gift of homemade granola from a colleague that had MI dried cherries in it! Holla for MI products.
• Spending my lunch hour talking to Momma B now that she is retired with nothing but sewing to do.
• I think I took 2-3 major poops today, which is 2-3 more than Helga has in the last 5 days. Happiness.
  

boxin it out

I'm back on the exercise track, that is until I get shipped to NC next week. But I'm up to four straight days of the gym, which hasn't happened in months. I'm working on getting ready for 3 weeks of beach vacations coming up this fall/winter! Gotta get the most out of those annual days.

The last week I got a number of yoga classes in and tonight I got to go boxing, with the wrapped wrists and all. This is the class I would always take when I'm watching Alias, needing to get out some aggression, or feeling a little badass. Jab, hook, upper cut.....Tonight was great because we cranked up 60 minutes of AC/DC, including my favorite Shoot to Thrill (minus the Iron Man footage) which Jilly Bean would be so proud of:



Jab, hook, upper cut, cross....working on my captain and tenille's, bitches.

the survey says...

If I was ever on a game show I would be the dirty person, and not necessarily intentionally. I would be focusing, like at my radio job, and not be thinking about the appropriateness of my answers. When my family goes on Family Feud, I bet I would totally be this lady....but worse. But in her defense, if I was asked....

• "We asked 100 men, name a part of your body that is bigger than it was when you were 16 years old"
  

....I would have answered the exact same way. HELLO, dirty mind, I would have also been just as quick as her:

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

Really were you thinking hands??? feet??? Nope, honestly I was not. And out of 100 men, NO ONE ANSWERED penis??? Seriously disappointed in the male population. Were they asking all 16 year olds?

How would you have answered???

PS, as a side note, I'd like to be on the black version of Family Feud...that looks like alot more fun than the uptight white version.

quote of the day

Here is an amazing quote of the day which was just made by your's truly:

• Ash, "sounds like you need a beer"
• Me, "no I'm trying to cut back, I'm either in the office working or someone else drunk"
• Insert much laughter...
  

Yeah ain't that the truth. Sleeping, working or drinking...I gotta work more exercise in there somewhere.

emergency for the girls

I just read about a new product called EBbra. This is a strapless bra that turns immediately into a face mask for when your in an emergency and don't want to breath in toxins. Isn't this already every bra??? Bras are multi-functional, for support, for ear muffs, or apparently for face masks as well.

I'm not sure this is going to work for women with some girls. So let's picture this, some emergency and I'm standing there trying to get my bra off inside my shirt. It would be like this scene from Friends, or I'd just get pissed and take my shirt off. And then we have to run away (you know from the 80 foot monster) I'd be able to breath but won't have any support. And that scene would look like something from the Playboy mansion. Classic problem.....

My cup would cover alot more of my face too :)

picture of the day

This is for all the meat-lovers out there, niiiiice ass tat:

picture of the day

Again, your convenience store mayyyy need a proofreader to notice when abbreviations turn into other words: