this might be taking it too far

This Twillight stuff might be getting a little overboard....now you can get a little Rob in your crotch!!! Look at the strategically placed mouth:


AND they just announced that they will be showing the first movie for selected audiences right before the release of the new New Moon movie. Way to milk it for all it is worth!

AND that Vit Water I used to be addicted to is now part of it all too:

mcdreamy can juggle

In the current day (at about 4:50):



And in something really funny from the 80s:

enough for nightmares

This will continue to haunt me for the rest of the day:

we were on a boat...

a mother f-ing boat!!!!

I forgot to add this to the epic post that was the Austin trip.....if only I could get it out of my head!!!! Damn you Helga and your iPhone that can play any song related to being on a boat....

student section shirt drama

So you may not have heard about this yet, but Penn State has taken some heat recently for their new student section t-shirts. The shirts are trying to promote a stadium full of the same color, clearly for team unity purposes. BUT the shirt design has all kind of groups pissed off:

What do you see? (this is like a bad Waldo game) Well I spy a cross and suggestions of white supremacy!!!! I knew it. Those damn Nittany Lions are religious freaks and probably wear white hoods with their "white out" t-shirts. Clan meetings and bible studies are happening places in Happy Valley. Joe P and his oxygen tank probably leads them :)

Hopefully other schools, like MSU, will learn from this and just have "green outs" instead!

music of the moment

Still loving this song (even if some people think they are posers):

a post austin reflection

So last weekend I spent a couple days in Austin Texasssss with two good friends. It was a girls weekend away with goals of cowboys, booze and bbq. We had a great time and made lifelong memories....

Here are a couple pictures of what sezy bitches we are:



The weather was amazing on Saturday and Sunday so naturally we had to get ourselves out to do a little urban CANHOOING!!!! And for those that don't know, that is like canoeing for normal people, but for Helga and I we tend to rename everything. This started back in Seattle with Ev and Sneaky Pete. If there is a city and there is water, we will eventually find boats just so I can continually yell "STROKE, stroke, stroke" OR Helga can chant "we're on a boat, we're on a mother f-ing boat!"



This is a great picture because I look like the unibomber (f-ing ball of death in the sky trying to kill me), and Helga is soooo BUSTY!!! We saw turtles, lots of floating trash, and a bridge of squeaking bats (see below), but unfortunately we did not see any beavers.

Friday night we ended up at Midnight Rodeo, which was definitely an experience. This is an old barn whose rodeo ring was converted into a dance floor with a gigantic disco ball above it. There was a really good live band for most of the night, and then at about midnight it was like someone snapped their fingers and the place turned into a ghetto nightclub. I swear, I've never seen anything like this. The cowboys and cowgirls that were two steppin did not miss a beat to start grinding on each other!!!! It was like one, two, step, and now I'm dirty dancing! I liked it. It was really really entertaining.

Throughout the weekend Helga and I ended up dancing on railroad tracks at multiple times. It all started after the midnight rodeo and continued when we were hiking the next day. This dancing on railroad tracks might become a normal thing now, next time, we'll be in MN and have to stop just to do a little butt dance.



Sunday morning we had to go to church....which for us was attending the Hippie Church at Taco Xpress so that we could hear some live gospel music for sinners. This is where all the crazy hippies who don't shave their armpits go to sober up and eat tacos. We fit in perfectly! The 7 person band was a-maz-ing with a violin, tube, mandolin, and an accordion (I need more accordions in my life). They sang good gospel music while we drank margaritas and ate tacos (and actually the entire weekend was focused around taco eating).

The highlight of this morning (besides the crazy hippies dancing) was the guy with a dread rat tail......I'm thinking of growing a rat tail as well and perhaps braiding it or making it into a dreadlock. It is sort of like the more PC way of doing a mullet (business in the front and parrrty in the back). Check it out and the band in front:



Now I know you've heard that everything is bigger and badder in Texasss, and we definitely experienced that first hand. I was immediately reminded of this because of all the BIG ass trucks. A number of them attempted to kill our little rental car. Then we went shopping and the fruit was all insanely HUGE. The grapes, and I'm not kidding, were about 1 1/2 inches wide. As Helga said, you eat 4 of those and it is like eating an apple. Also while shopping, we ran into some funky lemons, which resulted in this picture:



Sunday afternoon we took a picnic up a mountain of death (which turned out to be about a 30 stair hike) to overlook the river and all of Austin. The picture above of all three of us was from the bluff we hiked to. It was great to relax, have some wine and cheese, and watch the sun set. The good Lord was present through the clouds that afternoon, and if we are using this theory of thought, he was peeing on us all day on Monday because it was rained!



Chris Hansen, that sezy news reporter from Dateline's to Catch a Predator, kept coming in to all the weekend conversations. Remember when that guy used to trap sexual predators, bring them into a house, and then lift his leg to talk to them. I always thought this was super weird and somehow in TX, people lift their legs like this all the time. It is like this odd form of lunging. We saw it in Peter Pan statues and of course we did it too:



AND if you have no idea what I'm talking about, watch this sketch from Studio 60, specifically at the end when he crotch shots the guy he is talking to:



We had to experience everything that was uniquely Austin, which includes the millions of bats that live under a bridge. At dusk every evening the bats starting flying out of their bridge home and it is one freaky experience. They are so squeaky and just keep coming and flying away. It was an early Halloween adventure:



Other highlights of the trip:

1. I ate a cactus....actually I had slices of cactus in a taco, a cactus fruit, and a cactus fruit flavored margaritas.
2. We attended anything -fest related, including Cocktoberfest (where there were signs that said "free drinks for dicks").
3. Constant and nagging reminders of how amazing DQ's Pumpkin Blizzard is...
4. Being surrounded by 11 Fiesta pitchers in our studio B & B....why is the world does someone visiting Austin need 11 pitchers in one small apartment???? I can't even make that many batches of margaritas in 3 days! Even the damn butter knifes had pitches on the handles.
   
5. The television shows in Texasssss are very exciting. For example, for about 1 hour we watched a cowboy ride his horse in figure 8's without speaking, then he loaded it in his truck. It was gripping!
   
6. Rocky Horror Show is an excellent show to watch after an night of drinking and for the morning after. LET'S DO THE TIMEWARP!!!
7. For those who don't know I have a problem pronouncing things (I'm really good at foreign languages too), and this continued throughout the trip as things blended between spanish and english. Our landlord was ceclia, sherry, susan....feck, I still don't know her name.
   
8. I got a new parasol, which Sarah called a sassfas or something root beer flavored or something like black licorice.
9. I got a toe disease from a dog that ate a rat.
10. Helga was attacked by fire ants which results in her freaking out and stripping off all her clothes. This was secretly entertaining to watch, especially when she kept itching her foot in bed.
11. Pedicures and Ethiopian food makes for great rainy final day activities!
    

THANKS for the amazing trip!!!!

a little dry humping

Well after a weekend of some pelvic thrusts, this one made me laugh out loud! This one is for Helga and T......T this is a good two handed one:



Another news report and just another dry humping....this needs to happen more in the world.

I like it.

cville in the news

A couple weeks ago a girl was abducted right over my house after a Metallica concert (yes for all those cville-haters we are cool enough to get U2 and Metallica)....so of course this was a good reminder that maybe I should always make sure my doors are locked and not left open (I sometimes inadvertently have a problem with this).

This morning I heard that Metallica has now posted information to help with the search as well. I was surprised to see info about this on national website coming back to Cville and the arena I run by most weeks.

fat guy in a little coat

This one is for Ev and Sneaky Pete....we used to laugh our balls off whenever I couldn't fit into something and to ease the tension I would chant "fat man in a little coat"

I run this town

Soooo this is a great weekend jam too....that PS22 chorus continues to inspire me (especially when I play it inbetween making 10 teachers watching reliability clips during training):

austin, here we come!

So Helga, Sarah and I are headed to Austin tomorrow for a weekend 'o fun (D, do you notice how I say 'o this and o' that now-a-days??? what is the world coming to?). On the agenda:

1. Cowboys (with spurs please)
   
2. Margaritas (with extra shots of tequila please)
   
3. Two-stepping (I'll just shake my bootie)
4. Fish tacos
5. Bats at dusk (although I admit I'm way more excited about #1-4)
6. BBQ

Here's hoping we laugh till I wet my pants....I already pulled my suitcase out, did some washing, and will be packed after 2 hours of yoga tonight :)

Look out GWB, we're a-coming!

a beautiful sunrise

This morning there was the most perfect sunrise....I, being an idiot, was up too early but was able to watch the skyline go from bright orange to red to pink to blue. I got some good pictures through the trees in my backyard but the flash kept screwing things up. BUT I love sunrise/sets!!! I remember getting up early in MN and riding my bike through campus overlooking the Mississippi river before the city got busy. I loved it. I'm just a suckers for sunrises!

the other channel

Terri this one is for you.....does this happen alot? Maybe I should watch "the channel" more...


HSN Wii Tennis Fail on Live TV - Watch more Funny Videos

the new channel

Yeah the channel, not the QVC channel, but the Weather one just announced they will start showing weather-related movies!!! My ma is going to be so excited she may just wet herself. The rentals have been known to watch the Weather Channel for hours and hours on end. It just stays on rotation while they sleep or sew or dick around. AND NOW a good weather-related movie might end up in the "Local on the '8s"

What movies you ask??? Like a Perfect Storm with George Clooney, or March of the Penguins!!! Well might just be enjoyable. I wonder if they will do breaking weather news reports....beep beeep beep....it has started raining in your area....beep beep beep....back to the movie!!! Oh wait my rents have a electronic gauge that already does that.

This is going to make my christmas break even better!!!! NCIS and weather related movies. I can hardly contain my excitement.

yeah more new moon

iTunes released a new New Moon movie clip this morning and their servers promptly crashed with some many tweens downloading it. But don't worry it is already on youtube so you can see it in all it's glory:



Betty and I will have our tickets bought in the next week or two for Thanksgiving break!!! yeah. I'm secretly excited.

sort of cute

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

need a little chewy in your life?

I do, I do on a daily basis please....

Instant Chewy!!!!

So sexyyyyy.

Although I don't like his eye....thanks M.

what do you see?

Gobble, gobble, gobble just doesn't have the same feeling when all I can see is:


Whereas Frank here isn't outlined in black, but still dirrrrty enough for me:


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! gobble, gobble!

adding to my christmas list

I am building my christmas list and these t-shirt have officially been added:

Republicans for Voldemort

And something with House and Lupus (this is a good one or this one)

And a 1-cup coffee press....since I shattered mine awhile back and apparently I'm now addicted to coffee after I've left the pacific northwest.

post second flower arranging night

Well it has been raining here for what feels like a week. This morning I finally woke up to no raining coming down in sheets!!! That is the first in 4 straight days. So please preface this post knowing that we have been running in and out of the rain for days, slowing making me slightly kranky....

Yesterday we had a great morning where betty took wrong turn after wrong turn and tried to kill me in her little silver bullet about 4 times (not that I'm truly complaining but strictly an observation). My favorite part was when it was dark, rainy, and we took a sign in the middle of the woods that said "Washington DC, 1000 feet" when we were technically already in DC, it made us flip a bitch in the road and go back into the woods. Entertaining I tell you.

But I digress, we ran a ton of errands all morning, including me buying a 20 pound bag of halloween candy which I may have ate half of yesterday afternoon (and for those that don't know, this is very unheard of for me and put me in a slight sugar coma which I attempted to dilute with much wine later). We came back home and made betty's famous jambalaya and cheesey bread. It was amazing. I stayed in my floor bed all afternoon (see betty's facebook page) doing some art projects.

Eventually we did have to move and go to the Bluegrass BBQ even with all the flower arrangers with cankles. We got ourselves all looking good, took Naula's damn box, and headed for the flower lady's hotel. We got there but couldn't find Naula (even though I saw her in the lobby and she walked away from me), so I left her box at the front desk. We had planned to follow the buses to this house on the Potomoc, but of course the DC traffic lights had a different idea. So within 5 blocks in downtown DC those 2 f-ing buses hit every green light and betty's plastic pinto hit every red one. As betty said "those two buses took a right turn and up n' vanished like a fart in the wind." It was like the bermuda triangle for tour buses right down by the Capital. This was not a good way to start the night....

So we lost 2 buses in the rain at 6:30 PM on a Saturday night in downtown DC (this really shouldn't have been that hard), and before we knew it we were in Virginia when we wanted to be in Maryland. Thank God Betty stopped to get gas because we probably would have been running on fumes at this point, or I would have been pushing in the rain. So I was assigned the task or trying to figure out Betty's blackberry (which I secretly hate....although it might not be a secret now because I was swearing at it all night....my fingers are too fat!!!) to navigate us to some rich area in Maryland that is on the Potomoc and overlooks Mt. Vermon. Reminder, constant rain sucks my balls.

Breaking mid-blog-post news: I just took a great poop and got my first cup of coffee of the morning.

Well we get there just as those damn buses are arriving, so that was good. But then we have to hike through the non-paved driveway and yard of his house, watching my heels sink into the ground while getting soaked. We get into the house, and without giving what I would call inappropriate details, Betty and I didn't have nearly as much fun as the first night. The BBQ was GREAT and the Bluegrass music was really good. Other things weren't as great, but you'll have to call for these details.

Needless to say, we got out of there later and was relieved to get back home in my floor bed/nest. Today we promised that we would take Naula and Ger shopping this afternoon, so here's hoping that will be a good experience.....then it is back to Cville tonight!

post first flower arranging night

Well tonight was a flower arranging fun night. Too tired for real details but betty had a meat emergency which caused us to be late to the flower drama. Then she lost her wallet which caused us to take some extra taxi rides around town. While at the flower show we drank and ate alot of stuff, and had a GREAT time with the Irish ladies (including cutting prime rib with the spears from the chicken satay). We hit up the hotel lobby bar after hours and then Nuala's hotel room till like midnight. I LOVE those buckleys!!!!

Here is my favorite flower arrangement of the competition:



And here is betty, nuala and I....look I'm doing well here with the "business causal"....I did much better this time with this DC event:



The highlight of the night was that Ger and Naula kept trying to dance to this song, without much success I might add, but I'm going to post this and teach them later:

music of the moment

I downloaded the new Jay-Z album awhile back and last night T and I took a Hip Hop classes where we danced to this song. It is now officially my weekend jam (sorry betty):

starting the weekend with a Murphys

Well I'm up in DC and officially getting ready for my weekend o' flowers, o' irish, o'naula!!!! I'm halfway through my first Murphy's of the weekend and ready for some world association of flower arranging business tonight.

Here is the last time I saw Naula...yep we're on the beach and I'm wrapped one of her expensive napkins around my head!!! She just about died that I did that....wonder how many of those laughing moments we will have this weekend????

perhaps you should sleep afterwards

I caught this podcast the other day and they were talking about people who would tweet, or update facebook status after having sex! I would think the next logical thing would be to sleep but apparently there is a website devote to people updating that they just got busy! You can go to the site and see if there are people in certain areas of the world are getting busy.....it just sort of makes me laugh...especially as the characters are two rabbits :)

Check it out!

sad news

So for the last year I've been volunteering at a local nursing home painting old ladies nails....which I actually enjoy because it is two hours of nursing home gossip (whose doing who, etc.) and making some ladies feel really good. Anyways one of my normal ladies who I see every time, who sits for 2 hours visiting, and always ALWAYS wears bright red polish (like me) had a stroke a couple months ago. They let me know right away that her speech was somewhat affected but otherwise she was still good. Well last night I got there to find out she had a huge stoke (like the one my grandma has been hoping for!) last week and was now was on hospice. Sad news. I went to visit her and of course she had bright red nails and lip stick on, even through she can't walk or swallow anything. Like my grandma says "it is a bitch getting old!!!!!"

I'll miss that fabulous old lady!

this would have been a GME thing

So for those of you who don't know, I used to work at GME at UMN with some of the most fabulous people in the world. I miss them dearly and I doubt I will ever EVER have another working environment which rivals the fun (and productivity) we had there......but when I saw this it reminded me of some of things we would do there:



This would have taken some coordination but I bet we could have figured it out over Leine's at Sallys.....

OR perhaps this would have been a great way to get fired.....sort of like chair races in the hallway, or hurdles over the cubical walls!

poor professor mcgonagall

One of my favorite actresses of all time is Maggie Smith, who first caught my attention as the strict nun in Sister Act (which I used to watch every month throughout HS) and now has been playing the strict Professor McGonagall in all the HP movies. She is an amazing actress, who has been battling cancer the last couple years.

I'm a little worried about the continued filming of the last book of HP (made into two movies) on her health. It has been reported that she is very tire, weak and struggling to keep up with the demands of all the damn fighting. There is a couple of scenes in the book where Prof M is running around or fighting the dementors!

Dear HP filmers, don't kill Maggie please! She is irreplaceable.

halloween or life at LL's house?

Could this a halloween costume or the future of my "friends" around LL's house???

I may take votes on this one.....

nay or yay in the comments please.....

I vote for boiling :)

news of the weekend

Last weekend was great on multiple levels:

1. I got 1 hr massage (thanks to ACAC gift certificates) and my hair did on Friday night....much needed relaxation and personal treatment accomplished.
2. My hair stylist said I remind her of Abby from NCIS (I took this as a compliment)...I mean I was wearing my spiky dog collar!
   
3. I tried the new Moroccan restaurant in town on Friday night. It is possibly one of my new favorite restaurants...the food was a-maz-ing, the fig martinis were to die for, there were belly dancers, and a 17 African drum circle performance. I have to go back soon!
   
4. I had a sushi craving lately which means I had to organize a gab fest at Ten! in town (thanks Kate). This night ended with fabulous martinis as well, but this time they were lychee nut and watermelon.
5. After a Saturday morning of catching up on correspondence (letters to Ev), I got myself up to Skyline drive for my first official dose of the fall scenery. We did about a 2 hour hike, also including a gab fest (thanks ginny), and took lots of photos. It was amazing up in the mountains, and I'm hoping to make it up again for all the leaves are gone.
   
6. I caught up on Grey's and NCIS online while stealing 5 loads of free laundry on Saturday. That is what I call heaven with me lounging on a couch!
7. Sunday some good friends from MI were in town to watch their daughter play volleyball. Heather, who I knew in HS, plays for UNC and they were competing against UVA. This is the second year I've been able to catch up with them for bunch, laugh my balls off, and go to the game. UNC won, which is who I was cheering for, and Heather played GREAT (as a senior and a captain and a general beast). I love those guys!
8. I made it over to T & D's house to watch the rest of the Viks, who are now officially 5-0!!! Wahoooo, nice work Favre.
   
9. I still haven't been eliminated in the fantasy survival league. Here's hoping I live up to my entry name: "winner winner chicken dinner"
10. Quote of the weekend occurred while discussing how G, who is from Miami, hates CSI: Miami. I said "WHAT??!?! Momma Booren would like that." Next we did H impressions of pulling off your glasses and making profound statements. I commented that there should be a CSI: Charlottesville, and next came the quote that still makes me giggle....."what would it be called, CSI: Cville, Who stole my vegetable?? Or my hybrid ran out of gas!!! Or my ecologically-sound bike has a flat tire!!!" tehehehe
11. I bought a new crock potter after D and I shattered my previous one (and for those who didn't know I didn't drop it, I actually had smartly put it in the microwave and on the stove....not s-m-r-t I now know). The new one has a knob---I just said knob, tehehehe---is red and has latches to secure the lid. I love it and have used it a bunch already.
    
12. I turned into a little martha facher last weekend using all the fresh ingredients I'm still getting my garden and my friend W's garden. I used up some basal, swiss chard and collards (which were sauteed in bacon--which makes everything better).

Other trivial news:

1. Missing too many happy hours lately, and with DC and Austin coming up I'm going to be in friend/booze withdrawals. I'll deal but I'll have to make an extra effort to have "cartinas" nights like last night :)
2. This weekend I will be attending the overly-priced events of the World Association of Flower Arrangers. I'm hoping to bath in the Irish goodness that is my friend Nuala, and use the word FECK as much as possible. Plus there better be some freaking amazing flowers and food with gold in it for the cost of these events. You'll be able to find me at the free bar!
3. Congrats to my fabulous boss J, who just announced that him and his wife was expecting TRIPLETS and are 12 weeks along. Very very exciting for them! To me the ultrasounds still look like blobs, but I'll trust that there are 3 little ones in there :)

fall has arrived

So fall has officially arrived here in VA, even though I'm getting emails from folks in MN with their 3 inches of snow the last couple days. This weekend I was up on Skyline Drive doing a little hiking and sight-seeing. It was amazingly beautiful and fall colored and crisp air and so pretty.

Here are some pics:





Other ways I have been celebrating fall--apples, soup and loads of football.

marge in playboy

Did you hear that Marge Simpson is on the cover of Playboy:

Sexy!!!

hope = prizes

So it was announced today that BO won a Nobel Peace Prize for "inspiring hope" during his campaign and first term. I think this is BS!!!! Christ before long they will be handing out huge national awards for taking a good poo. It was a campaign slogan, and yes it was successful, but worthy of a Peace Prize????

I'll give you something to inspire hope....

music of the moment

a single politician

It must suck to be a young, single politician.....because when it is your birthday you don't have a partner to email your constituents but instead your mother has to do it!!!!

I don't know why this is making me giggle this afternoon, but I just got an email from that sexy politicio Tom P representing my district here in the big VA. It is his birthday and his mother, Linda P, emailed all of his constituents to have them "wish him a happy birthday" by donating money to his continual campaign efforts.

He even set up a website for your birthday wishes!!! I would be more than embarrassed if my mother did this and/or when anyone makes me celebrate my birthday. I wonder how many good wishes he will get, and how much money he will receive.

My gift is a blog post full of my internal laughter. Sorry Tom!

conan is funny

This is great:

a betty visit

Betty was in town last weekend and we were up enjoying the entire view of VA....I SEE DC!!!!



PS, apparently I'm back to living in those lovely MN sweatpants and sweatshirts (see U2 pictures). Shut it, I don't want to hear about it.

Also I would like to point out how perfect Betty's hair always looks, and how mine (in mid-re-grow-out) is like a big ball of fuzz.

getting creative with grilling

I did some grilling this weekend with Betty, but I was not nearly as creative as these folks:





Thanks Ron!

shag-tastic

This is GREAT...must watch:

post concert reaction

So the U2/MUSE concert was amazing on Thursday night. I'm still slightly recovering from the fun, but knew I needed to post some pictures for A, M and all the Cash's.

Here is my favorite U2 picture of the night:



Here is the group saying goodbye:



Bono is still a good entertainer, running around the stage and standing on shit:



Here is the big Bono on one of the moving stages that went over and around the crowd:



These two photos are for M, Robert, Cret and Dustin....the set was amazing:





AND don't forget about MUSE....they were great, a little more hard metalish than their studio albums, but still making everyone a MUSE believer:



And finally A and I pre-concert:



Thanks for all the fun!!! Got to get these legendary concerts in before they stop touring. Good times.

dramatic Jude

I'm just bluffin with my muffin.....Pretty funny:

beverly hills troops turns 20

Remember that great late 80s movie called Beverly Hills Troop? This was one of my favorite movies back in the day. It used to make me laugh and I remember signing along to the songs and wanting to go camping in a hotel.

Well that fabulous movie just turned 20 years old! And many people are celebrating this. If I lived in LA, I'd make all my friends go to this.

It's cookie time, cookie time:



I can still do that dance......I'm going to practice some this weekend in celebration of 20 years!

what I'm hoping to hear tonight

Tonight is the concert!!! Here is what I'm hoping to hear live:



And check out the stage area (which is already up in Cville):