social media is the future

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plate of the day

I have this fascination with vanity license plates, and this one is good. I have to say, one woman's vanity plate is another man's poop joke. It's all about your perspective:

I got human bumps for HP

HOLY BALLS, I'm excited about some HP this summer. The official trailer of the last movie is OUT and knocking my socks off. This looks a-mazing. I've been listening to some podcasters talk about how they are hoping this last movie will lead to some well-deserved Oscar nods (like the last LOTR). So good, so good:

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

PS, early viewers of the entire movie have said that many of the fan favorite scenes made it in. For example, Molly saying "not my daughter you bitch" (personal favorite). However, apparently there are also some liberties that were taken in some scenes, which I don't tend to get bent out of shape about. Good literature is different than good film making. Get over it. It is still going to amazing.

a new perspective on the royal wedding

Tyler, the apparent creator of odd future (whatever the hell that is), does not give a shit about the royal wedding. Well this is a new perspective, considering I read that the silver fox (aka, Anderson Cooper) and the older babs (aka, Barbara Walters) are already in London to cover the madness this Friday. I mean, these are like forreals news outlets and not just E! The world is all wrapped up in this business but Tyler could give two shits. Thank god for NME magazine and their crunk coverage:

news on this hump day

1. I finished a project today that has been 2 years in the making!!! Holy balls, now that is progress. Slow, yet forward. OK maybe two steps backwards and three forward....
2. I didn't swear at my computer nearly as much today in the office. See, progress!
   
3. I just walked in the door, excited for the scheduled dinner party tonight, only to find that my red crocker pot filled with two pork chili verde coated loin/lions was indeed turned on but apparently NOT plugged in! No amazing smells wafting from my front door. Sad.
   
4. Guess this means I'm treating everyone to go out to eat! Woot woot. I vote sushi.
   
5. I called Dr. Meat Man (aka, Poppa B) who informed me that even though the lion/loin was defrosted and sat out for 6 hours, I should still cook it and eat myself. He gave this advise after admitting that Momma B would probably say throw it out--can't wait to see if my horid immune system can take it (this was my defense for years on why I never wash my fruits/veggies)!!!
6. Right now I'm a little McKranky at the city of Bmore. I don't play games, this you should know about me for the future. So if you dick me around, I will turn and walk fast the other way with a selective finger to the sky. You've been warned.
7. I earned an entire gallon of OJ today. Best. Present. Ever (better when companied with vodka, but beggars can't be choosers). Thx M.
   

say goodbye to saggy pants

Well the greatness that is the state of FL (clearly NOT a commonwealth like the big V-A) has decided to outlaw "saggy pants." You know what I'm talking about...droopy drawers, penguin pants, or crap hammocks. Forget about freedom of speech, whether that be words or clothing, they are instituting a no-fundies-showing law.

How will this be enforced? Apparently, administers plan to use a plastic tie, slip it through a couple of belt loops on the pants or shorts and cinch it at the waist. Then the tie has to be cut off. What if I don't have belt loops??? Sweat pants, or in the case of LL yoga pants, also can sag to show my fundies.

We definitely need a state school dress code. While we are at it, let's also ban low cut shirts where the girls hang out. Also, no strappy sandles or 4-inch stripper heels for women either. But in the words of that amazing AI contestant from last year: "Pants on the ground. Pants on the ground, looking like a fool with your pants on the ground."

I think further discussion is warranted for the that fact this is coming out of Tallahassee, FL. Is that really how you spell Tallahhassee??? Isn't this where I insert a prim joke about Cananaanada. You know where someone drew a "C' out of a hat, said "eh?" and then drew an "N," said "eh?", etc. And what about Missisississippiipii??? OK let's sing the song together....We definitely, definitely need a Tallahassee joke or song for all those Floridians!

Lookin like a fool with yo pants on the ground! Not in FL, bitches.

stupid song in my head

My friend M has learned lately what an a-mazing singer I am when in the car (fist pumping) or walking around the DT mall (butt dancing with an umbrella). I am alwayyys in tune, on the beat, and knowing all the lyrics. It is an experience you do not want to miss.

Case and point, for 3 days this stupid song has been in my head and M has heard about 30 versions of it throughout the holiday weekend:

a big b-u-s to stay off of

I do believe that is a MI license plate. Knew it.

Yep, it happens, right there. I like the big b-u-s though!!!

comics who crack themselves up

I think it is great when comedians can't keep their shit together and start laughing during a bit or act. It happens occasionally on JStew and Colbert, and also on SNL's weekend update. It means that business is even more funny that they can't even keep a straight face. This happened recently with one of my favorite old time ladies, Ms. Betty White.

I do love me some Betty White. It might be because she reminds me of my a-mazing grandparents who were fun and carefree and honestly a little hip too. For example, check out Betty talking about her muffins here. Classic.

Anyways Betty's got a new series and I've watched the entire first season. I kind of loved it. I won't lie. Betty wears sparkly track suites the entire time, which I wish I could do throughout my entire life. She totally makes the show, which borders on a little SITC and a little Golden Girls. Betty is a sassy old lady with a bunch of drunk older women with dry humor. Sounds fantastic. Just little funny:

Hot in Cleveland
Tags: Hot in Cleveland Video,Photos on the set of Hot in Cleveland,Betty White,Hot in Cleveland Official TV Show Website

on the gleek bandwagon 3 years later

So I've finally got on the Gleek (i.e., Glee) band wagon a good three years after the initial rage. I've been slowly working my way through the first season and have to admit I am enjoying the series. This probably isn't too surprising because I love music and I'm a youth advocate. It will probably start boring me by season 2 though.

I read previously that Glee is this decades HS drama show pushing issues like teen preggers, GBLT, and bullying. It is this generation's "My So Called Life" (which I also recently re-watched). Good for Fox, not only to support the topics on the show but also a show promoting musicals.

Anyways, I nearly wet my pants when I saw this scene:



I would have died, seriously right there, if I saw this in High School. Loves it.

now this is youth development

Now here is an example of some quality youth development, doing the everyday work of kindness in the spirit of giving back to the community. I've watched Barry for over 15 years at the MSU basketball games, and always wondered his story.

This is the work, the type of influence you can have, where you can open up your door, listen, and start a ripple of change. It is not about teaching wining or losing, but about the process, the developmental potential. It stirs all types of feelings inside me that leads me closer to an path of inspiration, dedication, reaching for more.

OK maybe I'm taking this too far, but none-the-less, a good story if you need a pick-me-up:

LBT does the lady

Well here is a little country fried bluegrass edition of the Lady's new song. I like it. I've always been a Little Big Town fan, back in the day with a little Boondocks. This version is wayyyy better than the Lady's country version:

this year we walked in the rain

Well Saturday we all hauled our sexy booties back up to #DC for this year's Walk for Lupus Now. M, B, and I were up before 7 AM to cook our balls off. There was coffee and eggs and "beef, it's whats for dinner" aprons, and fun with red cops-and-robbers bandanas. We had a slight mishap with the plastic pinto that AM, but we are just going to pretend like that didn't happen. When we got into the district and the sky promptly opened up. We were completely soaked to the bone for the next 3 hours. Despite this, many people still came out, including a good number of Lupies from my group:



Damn we're a sexy bunch of people. My little grass roots team TOTALLY kicked ass raising about $23K, killing last year's record of 13K. Holla! Last night I was back in DC for meetings, had got a round of applause and some flowers for all our hard work. Truly inspirational.

McBetty told me that her boss, who consequently is married to a high-up at HGS, got a couple good jabs in for that fact that my Lupie team was beating their corporate team a week before the walk. After that they picked it up and basically stomped on us donation-wise :) But as McBetty and I said, it's not like they haven't done a TON this year for Lupus, you know getting a drug to treat it through clinical trails for the first time in over 50 years. We all thank you, HGS!

THANK YOU! THANK YOU for your continued support. It means alot to me and to this community.

10 days away, reaching epic proportions

Well we are t minus 10 days away from the epic-ness of this century's royal wedding. I've mentioned previously (here and here--and no I won't eat green eggs there) that the world is getting alittle out of control with all this royal marriage business. I'm obsessed, obviously, but who knew the fever would catch on world-wide like this.

Recently, we learned more about what Kate will be wearing. Apparently the designer studied with Alexander McQueen, and you know what that could mean??? I DO!!! She might wear his shoes made famous by the Lady (here or here). Hopefully McQueen's influence will shine through and Kate will just wear meat. I bet the Queen would like that. Her and Bill are bound to get Duked (as in "I'm now the Duke of London, bitches") if that happened.

I think the better question is what will Sir Elton John be wearing??? Two-parter, will he show up the bride??? I bet he'll have more sparkles on him than Ke$ha and/or Kate (and/or strippers). I'm excited to see what's wearing who, and how many crazy hats those brits come up with! Think of the wedding-blissed-out-aero-dynamical-possibilities. Endless.

One particular part of the marital crazy that caught my eye was....ready for it: ROYAL CONDOMS. Yikes. That is like the Tiger Wood's vibrater. And I bet you can guess what they are coining them, "Royal Jewels." Nice. Apparently when you buy these condoms you also get a collectible portrait of the couple, which is definitely an added bonus to the condoms. So just lie back and think of England. If they don't work you can always name the child either Willie or Katie. Works for me.

Who wants to take off work to watch the 24/7 live coverage??? Yes please.

I'm always effortlessly chic

This week Bananana Republic released their new summer clothing campaign that apparently has been coined, "effortlessly chic." I've always effortlessly chic, you have no idea. But I checked out the campaign pictures and they have all these hipsters playing on the beach. They look just the same as last year's collection, or just the same as any Bananana piece. Effortless, right? Well too me they still look like they are practicing some east coastal douchery:



I don't look that good on the beach. My pasty white Lupie body hates the summer, and therefore is only all about long walks on the beach when there is a constant cover of cloud. I tend to pull off more of the hobo chic beach attire, you know where I have layers upon layers like I'm living out of a garbage can and hooded up like the unibomber.

Why do these people match plaids? I just don't get it. And on a sidenote, where I'm from we buy our clothing with room to grow into it during the winters, and tend not to paint it on! Those guys need to beef up in those plaid button downs.

I bet if we could see their feet there would be penny-loafers without socks! Sorry I missed that. Now I'm going to go put my mother's pearls on and start my effortless day.

it's just pink polish

What is wrong with boys wearing pink "neon" nail polish??? Calm down everyone. For the record, I will encourage my children to express themselves however they want, be that with pink nail polish or temporary tattoo sleeves or long hair (exercise patience LL), and love them all the same. Johnny boy's got a point, believe or not polish comes off and isn't permanent, so relax please:

dance party on blades

Woot woot, rollar blade like no one is watching you. Seriously, this a-mazing balding, moustache growing dude who has some moves. Check out his spin. Hot. H-O-T baby. AND I bet he could totally take you on a handlebar moustache ride as well.

If he was doing this dance on rollarskates I'd be even more impressed. Rollarblades are so the 90s. He needs some wrist guards. Also I hope he is listening to a cassette tape (or as I said in DC last weekend, "OMG that guy is listening to a VHS!!" as some old dude ran by us) because that would make this even better:

racist much?

pap smears at walgreens

Odd to see him not maintain his composure. “Ladies, just look for the stirrups”

The Colbert Report
Tags: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

I hope I'll be this cool

I hope that I will be this cool and hip and wicked awesome when I'm old and my tits are in my shoes:

learning our vowels

This one is for Jilly Bean, J to the B:

what about non-preggers?

I wonder what this will do to us non-knocked up folks here in Cville???