Oh and the beans, THE BEANS:
I too am excited. So very excited. I laughed my balls off at these videos.
(sorry I'm 4 days late on this business)
Showing posts with label the boob tube. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the boob tube. Show all posts
Saturday, June 9, 2012
let's recap the jubilee
It was a great week to be a British enthusist and I couldn't summarize the events any better then this:
Oh and the beans, THE BEANS:
I too am excited. So very excited. I laughed my balls off at these videos.
(sorry I'm 4 days late on this business)
Oh and the beans, THE BEANS:
I too am excited. So very excited. I laughed my balls off at these videos.
(sorry I'm 4 days late on this business)
Saturday, June 2, 2012
MJ ben buttoned into this kid
Woah, America's got talent has had some good new acts this year. There was the badass old lady tell you about sex and now they found Michael Jackson who may have pulled an Benjamin Button back in time to this kid:
Woah, like woah. Way to break it down sugar. I really like this kid. I would put him in my purse. Steal him right up. All that personality and sass. Yes please.
Did you like his closing statement..."it only matter if it comes from your heart" Oh lord. I love you.
OK I'm taking votes for this kid's next song. Bad? Billie Jean? Remember the Time?
Woah, like woah. Way to break it down sugar. I really like this kid. I would put him in my purse. Steal him right up. All that personality and sass. Yes please.
Did you like his closing statement..."it only matter if it comes from your heart" Oh lord. I love you.
OK I'm taking votes for this kid's next song. Bad? Billie Jean? Remember the Time?
Sunday, April 1, 2012
my take on tswift
I like Taylor Swift. I do. She is great, except for all that fake, surprise, OMG I just won another award and I had no idea I'm awesome attitude she has. I mean, yes, she is grateful and all, but I seriously could just have a closed-mouth thank you at this point. Also, not dressing like you are in the era of dust bowls.
Apparently I'm not the only one that has noticed these lovely yet annoying manner in her song and life. Given the ACM's tonight in Vegas, my fav Joel McHale has put together a little parody, which in my opinion is pretty accurately funny:
Apparently I'm not the only one that has noticed these lovely yet annoying manner in her song and life. Given the ACM's tonight in Vegas, my fav Joel McHale has put together a little parody, which in my opinion is pretty accurately funny:
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Downton Abrys
Thanks to my good friend Y, I spent an entire weekend sick on the floor of her Blacksburg house watching Downton Abbey. It's amazing. I'm addicted, which given my Brits obsession is not surprising. Here is a parody which made me laugh:
If you haven't seen the show I doubt you are going to find this remotely funny but I like it. PLUS who doesn't love that one of the top shows out there right now is on PBS. Look thing those elephants didn't shut it down last year and really pull the funding. Bloody well done!
If you haven't seen the show I doubt you are going to find this remotely funny but I like it. PLUS who doesn't love that one of the top shows out there right now is on PBS. Look thing those elephants didn't shut it down last year and really pull the funding. Bloody well done!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
single's awareness day is upon us
Hate it. Not a fan. Said it for years. The only person I want as my valentine is this lovely lady:
God I love me some Betty White. She just turned 90 and damn she is still fecking funny.
God I love me some Betty White. She just turned 90 and damn she is still fecking funny.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
give em all coal
Kids are so spoiled these days. They get whatever the hell they want, whenever the hell they want it. We are such a consumer generation. I think this kids need a reality check. Enter the Jimmy Kimmel late night show.
Jimmy did a sketch in October encouraging parents to tell their children they ate their candy. This was my favorite. Now he is encourage parents to give their children crap Christmas gifts and video tape the results. Well the fun and dose of reality for their kiddos have continued into the new year:
Oh stop your crying! We need to toughen up you kids and teach you to be thankful for what you got!!! I was never like that as a child, or adolescent, I swear.
Jimmy did a sketch in October encouraging parents to tell their children they ate their candy. This was my favorite. Now he is encourage parents to give their children crap Christmas gifts and video tape the results. Well the fun and dose of reality for their kiddos have continued into the new year:
Oh stop your crying! We need to toughen up you kids and teach you to be thankful for what you got!!! I was never like that as a child, or adolescent, I swear.
Monday, November 14, 2011
shop eddie
I need to start shopping at Eddie Bauer again.**
It's the holiday season and you gotta give the gift of....
**If you don't get it, watch this clip.
Step 1: Cut a hole in a box
Step 2: Put your junk in the box
It's the holiday season and you gotta give the gift of....
**If you don't get it, watch this clip.
Step 1: Cut a hole in a box
Step 2: Put your junk in the box
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
72 days and it's over
Wowsa, did you hear??? The Special K news??? Kimmy K has filed for divorce from her tall MN-soten husband. They made it a whole 72 days. Considering they were PAID $17.9 million for their wedding that means it was worth a nifty $10,358.80 per hour. 10Gs per hour. HOLY BALLS!!
Check this out for a detailed break down of the numbers. It was funny how #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage was trending on twitter for days producing such epic tweets as:
Check this out for a detailed break down of the numbers. It was funny how #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage was trending on twitter for days producing such epic tweets as:
- #Blackberry service outage #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage (which I thought McBetty would enjoy).
- #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage her last name.
- #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage Taylor Swift's speech because Kanye grabbed her mic
What kind of jhole throws a woman into the ocean? I'm sure she is fine. I heard she’s completely buoyant carrying around all that well-known junk in the trunk, but still.
I still contend that these are s-m-r-t business people and she played her heart and wallet pretty well this time. Point Kim, advantage Special K family.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
batman and bill cosby
I may have ran across the cutest kid ever. He is BATMAN! ("I'm baatman" in a scratchy voice) With Halloween approaching, the kiddos are getting excited about their costumes. Ted, the cutest kid ever, has been working on his batman impressions and the best ways of flexing his muscles this fall holiday season:
Wow that is the best interpretation of BILL COSBY I've ever seen. Forget Batman, Ted has his Cliff Huxtable impression down to a science. That whole slow moving dance that looks like he is taking a poop. Remember how the Cosby Show used to redo their intros each season? It was always a dance party amongst all the actors where good old Bill would look alot like this little batman:
Yep, perfect. Batman and Bill, uncanny likeness.
Wow that is the best interpretation of BILL COSBY I've ever seen. Forget Batman, Ted has his Cliff Huxtable impression down to a science. That whole slow moving dance that looks like he is taking a poop. Remember how the Cosby Show used to redo their intros each season? It was always a dance party amongst all the actors where good old Bill would look alot like this little batman:
Yep, perfect. Batman and Bill, uncanny likeness.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
human of the year
I keep hearing about this new HBO show called Enlightened. It has this great Regina Skektor song in the preview. It is stuck in my head:
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
the gayest laugh
Last month that sexy silver fox, Anderson, totally lost it in a fit of giggles on his show. When my gay husband was in town this month I showed him the video and we agreed that anyone that hears this giggle cannot deny that he is gay. I love that Anderson, who is an epic journalist, loses all integrable sense when talking about an actor who tried to pee in a bottle on an airplane.
And this for sure is a giggle, not a laugh or chuckle. I don't laugh like this. It surely isn't from that classic scene in Mary Poppin....Anderson is really trying to control his giggle fit. And at about 2:00, he proves he definitely is gay:
If I worked in radio I would isolate that giggle and play it over and over and over as the best sound bite ever.
And this for sure is a giggle, not a laugh or chuckle. I don't laugh like this. It surely isn't from that classic scene in Mary Poppin....Anderson is really trying to control his giggle fit. And at about 2:00, he proves he definitely is gay:
If I worked in radio I would isolate that giggle and play it over and over and over as the best sound bite ever.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
I agree with black, calm down
I am going to write in Lewis Black for President next November. For reals, I like his dark, angry rants that are full of straight-talking for reals commentary. Between apple juice and dancing drama, I like him. Trust me this is worth 5 minutes of your life...so angry, so correct:
Thursday, September 15, 2011
pop up is back
Let's all travel back to the 1990s and have a moment or two nostalgia for VH1's Pop Up video (insert pop). You know, back when MTV played music instead of promoting teen preggers, and VH1 didn't have herpes from Rock of Love and the syp from Flavor Flav. Ahhh those were the good old days.
Well hang on to your butts because VH1 is bring back Pop Up video (insert pop). You can make your own pop up video on their website, but be warned you have go through all these systems shit to be on facebook and link off their website to share. The show (insert pop) returned at the beginning of October, and if that isn't a reason to get cable I don't know what is. Ready, sync your DVRs....
To satisfy you for now, you can enjoy the Britney reboot:
POP!
Well hang on to your butts because VH1 is bring back Pop Up video (insert pop). You can make your own pop up video on their website, but be warned you have go through all these systems shit to be on facebook and link off their website to share. The show (insert pop) returned at the beginning of October, and if that isn't a reason to get cable I don't know what is. Ready, sync your DVRs....
To satisfy you for now, you can enjoy the Britney reboot:
POP!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
the special K family is growing
Well I can't get over the new Hollywood family, who I coin the Special K's, is staying relevant. People just aren't getting sick of them like I thought they would 6 years later!
Years ago Kim Kardashian came on the scene as a fashion shopper for celebutantes, then she made a sex tape with Brandy's brother that "leaked" and she was here to stay. The same year her sex tape leaked, her family started their "reality" show KUWTK. The kids have branched off and had their own shows as well, providing further evidence this family is just raking in money.
This family and the "K's". I swear. Most of the children, like 20 of them, have names that start with K's (kim, kourtney, khloe, kylie, kendell, kris, KILL ME NOW). Then of all the irony, Kim finds a guy who's name also starts with a K! Insert Kris Humphries, a MN native.
Kris went to the UMN when I was there, and he wasn't known as the smartest guy around. Granted he was a talented athlete from the Twin Cities area, and our basketball team really sucked. I mean most UMN teams make it hard from you to be a die hard fan....you got to really really want it because they're going to put up a fight. But I remember this guy blundering around campus, and staring off into space.
Fast forward years later, Kris now plays for the NBA which makes him the perfect mark for all jersey chasers. And he is perfect for the Special K family because his name starts with a K! It's a match made in heaven. Apparently Kim loves Minnesotans and our hanging on to "oooo" while she chills on Lake Minnetokan with her hubby.
So after some courtship, Kris proposes to Kim which just aired on their KUWTK show. Check out this romantical proposal, full of cameras and lighting from the E! crew:
Just that first minute made me cringe! I mean how long did he sit there on his knee. I felt awkward for you, Kris. Fixing his shirt, just hanging out on one of his prayer bones. For reals. At least he knew on how to spell out his proposal in the rose pedals, otherwise he could have been like this dumbass:
And the kicker is Kim comes in and won't say anything until she sees the ring. As soon as it is apparent it is 40 carat, she says yes. Phhhh!
So the wedding happened and apparently the couple MADE over 15 MILLION dollars for getting married. Holy balls, they got everything free and got paid for selling the entire experience to E! and other companies (like the cake maker). How is that possible? Most couples go into debt!
I don't think this family is stupid. They are smart business people and anyone arguing differently should look at the longevity and gross income. They have outlived the Osbourne's and their reality show, as well as Gene Simmon's Family Jewels. There is something about all 20 of them, somewhere between dysfunctional and strong family based.
Years ago Kim Kardashian came on the scene as a fashion shopper for celebutantes, then she made a sex tape with Brandy's brother that "leaked" and she was here to stay. The same year her sex tape leaked, her family started their "reality" show KUWTK. The kids have branched off and had their own shows as well, providing further evidence this family is just raking in money.
This family and the "K's". I swear. Most of the children, like 20 of them, have names that start with K's (kim, kourtney, khloe, kylie, kendell, kris, KILL ME NOW). Then of all the irony, Kim finds a guy who's name also starts with a K! Insert Kris Humphries, a MN native.
Kris went to the UMN when I was there, and he wasn't known as the smartest guy around. Granted he was a talented athlete from the Twin Cities area, and our basketball team really sucked. I mean most UMN teams make it hard from you to be a die hard fan....you got to really really want it because they're going to put up a fight. But I remember this guy blundering around campus, and staring off into space.
Fast forward years later, Kris now plays for the NBA which makes him the perfect mark for all jersey chasers. And he is perfect for the Special K family because his name starts with a K! It's a match made in heaven. Apparently Kim loves Minnesotans and our hanging on to "oooo" while she chills on Lake Minnetokan with her hubby.
So after some courtship, Kris proposes to Kim which just aired on their KUWTK show. Check out this romantical proposal, full of cameras and lighting from the E! crew:
Just that first minute made me cringe! I mean how long did he sit there on his knee. I felt awkward for you, Kris. Fixing his shirt, just hanging out on one of his prayer bones. For reals. At least he knew on how to spell out his proposal in the rose pedals, otherwise he could have been like this dumbass:
And the kicker is Kim comes in and won't say anything until she sees the ring. As soon as it is apparent it is 40 carat, she says yes. Phhhh!
So the wedding happened and apparently the couple MADE over 15 MILLION dollars for getting married. Holy balls, they got everything free and got paid for selling the entire experience to E! and other companies (like the cake maker). How is that possible? Most couples go into debt!
I don't think this family is stupid. They are smart business people and anyone arguing differently should look at the longevity and gross income. They have outlived the Osbourne's and their reality show, as well as Gene Simmon's Family Jewels. There is something about all 20 of them, somewhere between dysfunctional and strong family based.
Friday, August 26, 2011
WWDDD?
I've been a fan of Mad Men for years now. I used to think "boy, this is slow" but then I slowed down my life and now I think "boy, this is kind of funny yet equally entertaining" (this realization occurred during the scene where someone's foot was mangled by a John Deere lawn mower being drunkenly driven through their business offices on the 52nd floor of a building). For those who don't know, the show takes place in the 50s/60s in Manhattan when there was some crazy telemarketing going on.
**Note, I'm not entirely sure when there hasn't been a time that advertising played a significant role in pop culture, be that consciously or subliminally.
Being a popular, Emmy winning show for years now, I was surprised to find that a retail company finally caught the fever. Bananananana Republic recently launched the Mad Men clothing line, and I absolutely love the female designs. The styles are classic, and allow me to ask "are you a betty?" Too bad they don't make them for tall, big boned girls--you gotta eat an apple a day and have tiny girls to fit that business.
A large part of the show is the amount that all the "mad men" (mad=madison ave or ad, short for advertising, men) drink hard liquor. I swear my liver, which is frequently exercised, would probably shut down. I wouldn't be able to keep up with the professional and creative demands while also drinking a bottle of whiskey a day.
However, I could get on board with the WWDDD decision making process. What is WWDDD? Well it's a play on the once religious phrase, now adapted as What Would Don Draper Do? Do you know? He'd pour a drink, tell you your business, gangster lay back on the couch, take a sip, smoke a cig, have another drink, then rinse and repeat. Here's the first half of the process, for your consideration:
This is the world Helga lives on a daily basis. You gotta give the girl some props. How do you keep up with that? She has clients who make vodka that drink and drink and then go to after parties to drink. Though exciting, shit's gotta get old.
**Note, I'm not entirely sure when there hasn't been a time that advertising played a significant role in pop culture, be that consciously or subliminally.
Being a popular, Emmy winning show for years now, I was surprised to find that a retail company finally caught the fever. Bananananana Republic recently launched the Mad Men clothing line, and I absolutely love the female designs. The styles are classic, and allow me to ask "are you a betty?" Too bad they don't make them for tall, big boned girls--you gotta eat an apple a day and have tiny girls to fit that business.
A large part of the show is the amount that all the "mad men" (mad=madison ave or ad, short for advertising, men) drink hard liquor. I swear my liver, which is frequently exercised, would probably shut down. I wouldn't be able to keep up with the professional and creative demands while also drinking a bottle of whiskey a day.
However, I could get on board with the WWDDD decision making process. What is WWDDD? Well it's a play on the once religious phrase, now adapted as What Would Don Draper Do? Do you know? He'd pour a drink, tell you your business, gangster lay back on the couch, take a sip, smoke a cig, have another drink, then rinse and repeat. Here's the first half of the process, for your consideration:
This is the world Helga lives on a daily basis. You gotta give the girl some props. How do you keep up with that? She has clients who make vodka that drink and drink and then go to after parties to drink. Though exciting, shit's gotta get old.
Friday, August 5, 2011
pizza pizza, right here in Cville
So I just read that the Food Network put out ratings for the Top Pizzas for each of 50 states. That is 50 pizzas you have to eat, you know when you're traveling around these states. Turns out that the big VA selection is right here near Cville.
The Cozet Pizza joint is a locally run restaurant in a hole in the wall just a couple miles outside of Cville. I really like this place. It is delicious. Years ago, I went there once with JB and B and watched them drunkenly sword fight with the spatulas. And I always try to take any Cville guests here for a little hand tossed whole wheat goodness.
Apparently their white mushroom pizza is the best in the big VA. Holla! It is smothered in those shitty-take mushrooms and a plethora of garlic. Sign me up, and please accompany it with a local Star Hill brew.
The Cozet Pizza joint is a locally run restaurant in a hole in the wall just a couple miles outside of Cville. I really like this place. It is delicious. Years ago, I went there once with JB and B and watched them drunkenly sword fight with the spatulas. And I always try to take any Cville guests here for a little hand tossed whole wheat goodness.
Apparently their white mushroom pizza is the best in the big VA. Holla! It is smothered in those shitty-take mushrooms and a plethora of garlic. Sign me up, and please accompany it with a local Star Hill brew.
Monday, May 23, 2011
the SNL sketch you didn't see
Well JT and The Lady rocked it out this weekend on SNL. Actually it was a historical season finale, which I enjoyed. Too bad this sketch got cut:
Monday, May 9, 2011
the new "I'm on a boat"
Well I'm a big fan of SNL's digital shorts, and one of my favorites is "I'm on a Boat" bitches (with my flippy floppies). I've been singing this song anytime I go can-hooing for years, circa 2005. Who doesn't love to can-hoo? (explanation of LL-ism=Helga and my version of canoeing) If I'm on a floatation device of some kind, I tend to yell out "I'M ON A BOAT, I'm on a mother-fing boat!!!" This occurred for an entire day straight during that legendary trip to Austin.
Other notable digital shorts besides my all time favorite include "dick in a box" and "motherlover" (or you can check them all out here). Well SNL had a new one that premiered last weekend, which unfortunately did not have T-Pain in it. Instead we got that no talent ass-clown/hat Mr. Bolton. I'll be honest with you, I love his music. I do. I'm a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, I don't know if it gets any better than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman". (LL xoxo points if you can name the movie).
Mikey B brought his sexy, post-desperate-housewives-wife, self to sing about pirates. Well that was unexpected, yet strangely satisfying. He even dresses up like a pirate in between the bouts of raps. Good work SNL and Mr. Bolton, and way to overly plug the 4th Pirates movie coming out later this month:
PS, I f-ed a mermaid.
Other notable digital shorts besides my all time favorite include "dick in a box" and "motherlover" (or you can check them all out here). Well SNL had a new one that premiered last weekend, which unfortunately did not have T-Pain in it. Instead we got that no talent ass-clown/hat Mr. Bolton. I'll be honest with you, I love his music. I do. I'm a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, I don't know if it gets any better than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman". (LL xoxo points if you can name the movie).
Mikey B brought his sexy, post-desperate-housewives-wife, self to sing about pirates. Well that was unexpected, yet strangely satisfying. He even dresses up like a pirate in between the bouts of raps. Good work SNL and Mr. Bolton, and way to overly plug the 4th Pirates movie coming out later this month:
PS, I f-ed a mermaid.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
comics who crack themselves up
I think it is great when comedians can't keep their shit together and start laughing during a bit or act. It happens occasionally on JStew and Colbert, and also on SNL's weekend update. It means that business is even more funny that they can't even keep a straight face. This happened recently with one of my favorite old time ladies, Ms. Betty White.
I do love me some Betty White. It might be because she reminds me of my a-mazing grandparents who were fun and carefree and honestly a little hip too. For example, check out Betty talking about her muffins here. Classic.
Anyways Betty's got a new series and I've watched the entire first season. I kind of loved it. I won't lie. Betty wears sparkly track suites the entire time, which I wish I could do throughout my entire life. She totally makes the show, which borders on a little SITC and a little Golden Girls. Betty is a sassy old lady with a bunch of drunk older women with dry humor. Sounds fantastic. Just little funny:
I do love me some Betty White. It might be because she reminds me of my a-mazing grandparents who were fun and carefree and honestly a little hip too. For example, check out Betty talking about her muffins here. Classic.
Anyways Betty's got a new series and I've watched the entire first season. I kind of loved it. I won't lie. Betty wears sparkly track suites the entire time, which I wish I could do throughout my entire life. She totally makes the show, which borders on a little SITC and a little Golden Girls. Betty is a sassy old lady with a bunch of drunk older women with dry humor. Sounds fantastic. Just little funny:
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