oh yeah! hip old lady

If my crazy grandparents were still alive I would have totally done this in their kitchen. I would have taught GS the shoulder dust off, the nose inch, and the chest pop. If this old lady had more junk in the trunk she totally could have done a hot bootie dance (but as GS always said "its a bitch getting old").

I mean check out her ty-died shirt and stretch pants. She is so hip she is almost a hipster (or gangsta, whichever):



Pop, pop, pop it like its hot. I like it.

give me a hot tottie

Hhaha, I just heard the new Usher and Jay-Z song called, Hot Tottie!!! Hahaha, hot tottie. That is soooo my late Grandma. She used to say this all the time "I need a hot tottie" or "I think we should cap the night off with a hot tottie." I, like the grand-daughter I should be, always use the term "Hot tottie" for when I put booze in any warm drink (OK occasionally a cold drink too!). Case and point, last night with warmed apple cider and jack daniels. Yum!

Well anyways here is the new song with alot of classic J interludes:



Loves it...HOT TOTTIES for everyone!!!

twin titty federal

Well this post pays homage to my fabulous Grandma and Grandpa, who I miss dearly. I miss hanging out with my crazy Grandma, talking about how she lost her fake boob, or waiting for her to boldly state "It's a bitch getting old!" I miss dirty conversations with my Grandpa that would go something like this:

• GS, "your boobs are the perfect size"
  
• Me, "why is that grandpa?" (insert a huge humoring you smile)
• GS, "because anything over a handful is just wasted"

Well today I read that someone has created what my grandparents would call "twin titty federal." I remember when Grandma and I would be shopping and she would ask for me to wait, turn her back, fish around in her shirt, and come out with a couple $20's. She had made a little wallet that fit nicely between the girls. This wallet is much more mugger-proof because the thief would have to molest me in order to get my money....or this might happen instead :)

Turns out someone is marketing and selling this now. It is officially called "cleavage caddy" but I like my Grandma's terminology better. Plus these aren't built for women with bigger boobs....I could hide a big wad of money between my girls, a cell phone, my car keys, and maybe a granola bar or two (1/2 for me and the rest for my jilly bean). But apparently you can get them in different designs and colors too: