how I live my life

This is true. See my header. How you should live too:

BO is sexy

Well this was bound to happen. I'm surprised the interwebs took this long to make it. But now we officially know that BO is sexy AND he knows it:

I don't want to get too political here…

But Mitt Romney could never pull off animal print pants.

what to bury me in

No one likes talking about their own mortality (except me), but with this bacon-wrapped death box, you'll be salivating over it. What better way to go to your final resting place than in a casket that resembles what was probably your final meal? Plus this quality piece of craftsmanwork will seal out the elements, perfectly preserving your fatally cloggged arteries for weeks to come:

Don't worry their website says this pork flavored box is just under $3000 which is TOTALLY affordable. And I like the company's tagline...."everything should taste like bacon". Couldn't agree more.

Downton Abrys

Thanks to my good friend Y, I spent an entire weekend sick on the floor of her Blacksburg house watching Downton Abbey. It's amazing. I'm addicted, which given my Brits obsession is not surprising. Here is a parody which made me laugh:

If you haven't seen the show I doubt you are going to find this remotely funny but I like it. PLUS who doesn't love that one of the top shows out there right now is on PBS. Look thing those elephants didn't shut it down last year and really pull the funding. Bloody well done!

I just found 2 dogs I want

Well I would have a real problem if these were cats because I just want it, if only for the story telling and possibly for extended laughter:

OR the furry version:

I mean I can't even make this shit up!

I'll take one of both please and thank you.

I need 4 friends...

OK friends, I got an idea. Well I sort of stole the idea. We all need to come together...no wrong choice of words...get together during the late afternoon. If you are bored and need a little fun, we can play the shadow puppets game with 5 people. I mean look at what these folks did, completely amazingballs:

There's only so many drinking games we can play before this happens.

Actually I think this mayyyy be a family on their yearly vacation. So for them, apparently there is only so much Uno a family can play before they start getting creative.

Bon Joviver

I love music. I like to rock out and have a dance party. But man I do like to chill with a little midwestern goodness. Enter Bon Joniver, what you get when marrying the musical style of Bon Iver (I love cheddarheads) with classic Bon Jovi lyrics:



I love it. I need more Miracles of Modern Science in my life.

traffic dance party

OMG this video just made my day. This guy can dance....shit if he can direct traffic but mannnnn watch him move:



This Philippines traffic officer is really making the most of his job by dancing to some imaginary beats while directing traffic on the streets of Manila. It truly looks like the spirit of Michael Jackson is still walking the earth and Whoopi Goldbergged itself into this man’s body, and the result is one incredibly upbeat video that everyone can enjoy (except for the victims of the hundreds of inevitable accidents).

video of the day breakdown

Let's breakdown the ah-mazingness that is this newly selected video of the day:

• I love the 80's....the tight sweatshirts (Go pistons!), the mullets (party in the back, business in the front), and teased hair on the ladies (too much hair spray).
• I have two words for you: MOU-STACHE. Yes please. Ride for one.
  
• Geooorgia, georgia. On my mind.
  
• I LOVE extreme whistling.
• I need to be an audience member for this talk show. It looks like alot of fun.
  

I think we need to hit replay and watch that business again! That is soooome talent.

cananda just went up in my book

Wow, those northern canucks just went a notch up in my book. I mean their lower legal drinking age was a pro throughout high school and college, but now as my priorities have shifted (yeah like booze isn't still a priority) I like that they are also givers. I just read about the 17th Annual “Teddy Bear Toss” in Calgary where fans of the minor-league hockey team the Calgary Hitmen throw teddy bears onto the ice to celebrate the team’s first goal, with the bears eventually being collected and donated to the Alberta Children’s Hospital.

Wanna see 25,000 teddy bears flying through the air at the greatest of ease??? Yes please.



Pretty badass. Can more American teams do this? Again, I'd like to state how I could run the shit out of a sports team's philanthropy and community efforts. I'm just sayin.

it's time for alittle helga

I'm in extreme preparation for an exciting trip to CA. We're going back, back, back, to cali, cali, cali (insert notorious B-I-G). I am going to get my yearly dose of Helga time, my all time best butt rubbing, leg humping, lover pants friend. I'm going to sass the shit out of her, and extreme whistle, and rub my feet on her pillows, and bark at her, and be super duper cheerful in the morning. It is gonna be great...I can't wait.

Helga, you are welcome to sit on my lap anytime:



Also, I'm pretty sure I am going to hump your leg. Be that in a parking lot or on a train or on a plane. Look out, hump hump hump:



Considering we are in CA, I imagine there is going to be hiking happening. You know where my foot can take it. So we will be in the woods, hugging trees and loving mother nature (PS, I still have this t-shirt):



I hope we will be on a boat somewhere, just so I can sing, "I'm on a boat..I'm on a mother f-ing boat." I really love cities with water in them, especially when they have boats, like ferry boats or tour boats:



I am positive there is going to be some drinking. I mean, it's LL, right? Yeah, so it may not look exactly like this blow job shot taking, but definitely some drinking:



Along with the drinking, I hope to laugh my balls off. I'm going to laugh and laugh, and then laugh at you, and finally laugh at me. It's gonna be great, no seriousness here:



And finally, we will have some hugging. Helga may try to push me away, but I'm 6 foot tall, bigger than you, and can wrap my arms 4x around you. Deal with it. And my personality is 2x times as big as normal people which means, I'm coming and we are going to embrace:



Woot woot, see you Saturday you hooker!

not based on science

I like the disclaimer to this new moustache cheat sheet:

ryan, you sexy bitch

You gotta love Ryan Gosling. The man is sexy, check here and saving countries here and hungry for his shirt here. Plus, did you know, he was part of the Mickey Mouse club with JT, Britney and Christina back in the day? Apparently he was sexed up bad boy.

Also, don't you think he has alittle Mike Posner vibe to him? Right, ash? Or vise versa, whatev.

Ryan has been stealing women's hearts ever since he starred in the Notebook. He has done some other good movies like Lars and the Real Girl. He recently spent half of his new movie shirtless, where there were no complaints from me. He can be shirtless and not talk, that is fine by me. But apparently his talking has caught some attention:

let's talk social trends

Sorry ya'll I'm a little behind in updating you on current social trends. There has been a number of social experiences that have been making their way around the internets this summer, some of which are still happening while others are on their way out.

Case and point number one, Planking. This where people pretend to lay across things...the laying down game, the make-yourself-look-like-a-plank game. This fad can be very fun if you have an inventive partner. Please don't hurt yourself like this chick...important to make sure your planking equipment is secured to the ground.

You need to get on this fad a-sap, because if you didn't know already, Hugh Hefner the 90 year old stud is wayyyy ahead of you. Earlier this summer he posted this picture of him and all the blogosphere was worried that perhaps he died. Nope! He is just up for all things young and new (pun intended):



OK well this is not the best example of planking, but for an old man, it's not so bad. Check out this site for all the best planking examples. There are some really good ones there, including in the air, under water, and in some pretty impossible positions. I loves it.

Case and point number two, now on to the more current trends. I just read the other day that Stocking is the new Planking. That's right folks. We have moved on to Stocking. What is this, you ask? Well you know those website where you can purchase stock photos that have been fully consented with rights purchased. We use these sites all the time for kid pictures on our work websites, as well as for Mr. Meat Man's website.

Stocking is when you recreate and pose like these photos. Check out this tumblr for some examples. Or here are a couple of my favorites:

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My sentiments exactly. I don't like work nor bananananas. I couldn't have pictorially recreated this better.

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Brace yourself....to catch air!!!! Or maybe the holy spirit. Or maybe you're singing, extreme gesturing? Who the hell knows. But I dig it either way.

Who comes up with these photo stock ideas? They were bound to be mocked by the internets.

PSA to JT

Last week, Justin gave two surprise performances at both his NYC restaurant, Southern Hospitality, and then Irving Plaza the following evening (to support FreeSol, an artist under his personal record label). Fans, myself included, have been waiting, foam fully formed at the corners of their mouths, for JT to release something new, something that isn’t a romantic comedy with Mila Kunis or another stint hosting SNL. But it's been years.

Some of fans put together a PSA directed toward JT...come back to us pllllease:

OK now here we GO again

Well they have done it again. I swear, the band OK GO is truly amazing videographers, not to mention artists. They did the trendmills, then the mouse trap, then the genius dogs, and NOW we get this:



Whether or not you like the song, you’ll get lost in the four-person human kaleidoscope that you can manipulate on your own (#SYNERGY). Look at all the words, the feet, the colors! 2011, this is what your music looks like now. Check out the video dance messenger and make your own!

Creative geniuses. I (secretly) hate you.

it's a good thing I don't have kids

It is a real good thing that I don't have children, because I would probably be that parent. The emphasis on that truly depends on your parental pedagogy. I, within reason, would most likely let my children listen to the music of their choice, including in this case Outkast. Who doesn't love Outkast? Well look at these cutie mccuties dancing their balls off with alittle Wii:



Now let's put on some Usher and throw down!!! To the windows, to the wall, OKkkkk? Those boys have got some moves. Someone needs to teach the Cville Trips how to do that, and soon.

It also should be noted that I would probably be the parent that encouraged my child to sing to more inappropriate songs, like Tik Tok or Rehab or Bad Romance. I'd also probably let my child paint their fingernails pink and express their own personalities.

my tea light dream

For those you don't know, I love me some tea lights. I love all low levels of lighting. I don't like the big ball of death in the sky, nor fluorescent lighting indoors. This leaves me with candles and tea lamps.

I think those Chinese tea lights are sooo pretty and I have subsequently strung them around my patio and house. Imagine my excitement when I found out that somewhere in Finland, or Norway, or Russia or the North Pole each year they have a massive floating tea light celebration. I want to go to this!!! I need to do this here. Perhaps during my 4th wedding (I have other plans for the 2nd and 3rd)....mark your calendars, during the 4th round we are going to make this happen:



Soooo pretty!!!! I absolutely love it. Floating miracles.

(billion dollar) strongest beer ever

Welllll some brilliant folks in Scotland have created the strongest beer in the world, weighing in around 41% alcoholic content. It goes a little something like this: take a sip, and hello I'm drunk. I would totally be up for trying this, but it cost close to $75. Holy balls with that price I better be drunk after one sip, and apparently they are telemarketing it that way "one drink and you're over the legal driving limit." Crap, that is strong.

I wonder if something like this would actually taste good. I would have to confer with my beer making friends/family, but I would imagine that this would be diffcult. Sure, I'm drunk after one sip but does it taste like acid going down my throat! Well if it is an IPA, I probably already feel that way :) Only kidding. I love beer. Beer and dragons alike.

is england the same as great britian?

Wellll I ran across this video that thoroughly explains the differences between England, Great Britain, and the United Kingdom. I mean it all sounds the same to me, for example, I absolutely, positively love your music, your accent, your capital (London calling?) and wish that I could spend the rest of my horribly boring life in a small flat in England/Great Britain/United Kingdom. Yes please.

So if you care and/or are confused, this video can be very very informative:



I do wish that the guy explaining all thi crap had that lovely British accent so that I would want to jump his bones; istead this sounds like some know-it-all American dude.

England, so tiny, so amazing, soooo powerful and lovely. Someone hire me there plllllease.

PS, note that they mention all the "British" islands in the caribean and what that means. Wonderfully, I've visited some of them and been eaten alive for weeks on end.