everywhere I look I see sex

Case and point, this picture of the day:

music of the moment

Eric Hutchinson...yeah you kind of sound like Matt Nathanson....case and point:



Those this song does make me jig a little!

better coordination than you

I don't like when animals are more talented than me. I'll be even more pissed if a cat is s-m-r-ter than me, but maybe I'm marginally more OK with dogs. I mean check this big d-o-double g:



You know, now that the government's been cracking down on dog fighting, dogs in the hood have had to find new hobbies.

A-mazing.

important notes to leave

I like leaving love notes. Sometimes I do it on chalk boards, white board, sticky notes, or voice messages. I leave them on your cars, hidden in your office, or somewhere random it will take you months to find. I like to brighten your day (so STOP complaining damnit!).

I've had this discussion in the past about how to leave me notes around my house. And luckily I've run across a couple other cute possibilities for my everyday life.

Case and point #1:

Listen Evan/Nik, don't tell me what to do. Honeybadger don't give a shit. I can wear my birthday suit and walk around my house all I want. Do your rental units pay rent here? No, I don't think so. What if there is a dance off? What am I going to do if my pants are still on?

I mean I may consider putting on a robe or a towel (like when your boyfriend is here), but you can't stop the girls if they want to get out (you know what I'm talking about, insert wink wink).

PS, anyone notice the Jimmy John magnet goodness above this well purposed college roommate request.

Case and Point #2:

Except this love note would be edited this to say:

• Dear LL, You dumb hooker. I'm not too happy with your inability to provide me with 1 pound of crack cherries each week. This is unacceptable for my pooping ability. If you could fix the situation that'd be great. Thanks, Nik.

Oh sure sure, blame me for your inability to have a good BM. That has got to be the nicest random note demanding sugary substances. Jon you sexy thing. I wonder how sweet your real loooovenotes are.

I don't understand gingerbread houses

I like holidays. I also like holiday traditions, for example I put up my holiday tree mid-November this year. But there are some traditions throughout the year I just don't understand. Case and point, around the Christmas season, what is up with all these Gingerbread Houses?

I had this conversation at a local bakery the other day. I made my case that I don't understand spending so much time on something that is for display and cannot ultimately be eaten. All the baking and preparation and extreme sugar....it makes no logistical sense to me. Plus don't they always fall down? Frosting does not equal glue, folks. I mean, I was standing next to one at our college's competition and the jellybean house light just fall off. I didn't touch it or anything, and all the hard work was just crumbling in my presence.

Well this makes me want to review some of the most noteworthy gingerbread houses of the season. Award number one goes to the most insensitive, less PC house:



Subsequently, this is exactly the way my houses look whenever I try to build them. They typically end up in a pile or lump of natural disaster sweetness. If they happen to stay together, they may end up like this masterpiece (only I would put carrots, or whatever is left in my kitchen on my gingerbread house):



This one definitely gets award number two (which subsequently is close to poop). I find this one a remarkable resemblance of Beeker from the Muppets. You know, my favorite character which I have been chanting all over the house this holiday season. Mememe-Mememe-Mememe. If you don't know what I am talking about, check out this video:



See that house is a PERFECT Beeker. Told ya.

PS, that mess of hair on Beeker's head is also the way I sort of look in the mornings...or all day...whatev.

thinking about santa

I've been thinking about Santa lately....that jolly bowl of jelly. I mean what an lazy mascot for the holidays--no wonder the people of the world are equally lazy. The guy only works one night a year (granted that night probably is pretty stressful), and sits around 364 days eating, drinking, and fating up on sweets. How that sleigh even gets off the ground is besides me?!?!

And he has some behavioral tendencies I think need to be examined further. The guy breaks into homes and looks around for little children. Someone needs to call Chris Hansen a-sap, as well as Horatio Cane and get on the fat man in a red suit. And I'm not the only one that finds Santa's (or should we take the dyslexia route in naming: Satan....see too close for my comfort) behavior questionable:



My point exactly and well diagrammed if you ask me. That fat bastard drinks my beer, eats my cookies, and leaves a mess under my tree. Yep, alot like rommates and burglars. Case and point folks. Point LL, advantage NOT the fat man I'll now call Satan.

where does my laptop go?

Let's play a game.

Guess where LL brings her laptop constantly:

• The toilet
• The bathtub
• My bed
• The coffee shop
• The plastic pinto

Here are some case and point examples for you....

I really don't see a problem with this. Sure sure I could die due to the combination of water and electricity, but what is life without a little risk. I'm more worried when its extreme hot water and the mirror is dripping in condensation. Think about what that is doing to my motherboard.

And sadly this case and point is also my life:

It may seem incredibly depressing to think that the only thing warming my bed during these cold winter months is the laptop I snuggle up beside, but that's an antiquated thought process. This is the future. You're not alone if you have a trusted computer that intimately knows your tastes in music, sitcoms, and pornography. I say let the machines repay us for building them by providing the occasional adrenaline and dopamine needed to simulate an emotional connection with another living being.

secondary smrt protesters

I respect protesters. They have a cause and they are not afraid to yell it, to sign it, and to stand around promoting it. Despite they're obvious commitment, I mayyyy have a little more comedic respect for those secondary protesters. These are the people who stand next to the initial protester to blatantly mock their cause.

Case and point #1:

What doesn't kill you only makes your wrists stronger.

Case and point #2:

And on the gay note, here is one more added bonus for alittle extra giggle:



And a big round of applause. Nice work you creative secondary protesters. Way to hang around and adapt a secondary cause off of someone else's protesting efforts. I imagine this happens without the protester even knowing what is happening. They are just standing there being all opinionated not knowing others are actually making fun of them.

I like it.

tis the season

Well one of the holidays which the drunken side of America loves is fast approaching. That's right, grown adults have a reason to act stupid on Halloween and St. Patty's day. My fun started a couple weeks ago when I found this pumpkin ass card. Then we has a moment with the cutest Batman and Big Bill. Finally today I found out that the creativeness of pumpkin craving has now reached epic proportions in creating uses for all elements of the naturally grown pumpkin. Case and point:

Let's break it down:

• Wow, way to use the bottom of the pumpkin in new creative ways. I'll never look at a pumpkin in the same way...now I only see a butthole.
  
• I keep thinking about this song where "I need a place for both hands, handz, handzzz." Which then makes me think about OBX. Which then makes me think about pooting and tooting and booting it.
  
• That's what she said: "I'm just doing it until I earn enough money to move outta the pumpkin patch"
• My only job as a father pumpkin is to keep her off the pole and out of clear high heels (insert Chris Rock fav joke of all time).
  
• $1 bills, what cheap bastards. Let's get some $5 up in here to make me holla.
• Shear thongs are the best.
• That isn't a pumpkin, that is someone with an orange tan from Jersey Shore. Nailed it.
  

this is not the place for accurate news

I think it is about time for a serious disclaimer. After about 7 years of blogging, on two different sites, I think we need to have a candid conversation about some LL Spot readership limitations:

1. This should not be your only place for news, be that snarky or serious. I suggest other such creditable sources like FoxNews (fair and balanced) or DailyShow (satire and sarcastic).
2. All ramblings by LL are not based in fact. There is no journalistic integrity here (which really isn't much different than other blogs and/or news sources).
   
3. I reserve all rights to put on my ass kicking boots and solve the world's problems in a typical LL fashion.

This disclaimer is brought to you by my highly scientific family. Brunch of fucking s-m-r-t people who check into everything I say. Case and point, earlier this spring I posted this amazing picture of gigantic drift wood in the state of WA as one of my pictures of the day. I received a number of phone calls afterward that informed me that I miss reported the exact time and place and reasoning behind the photo. Well crap and a half, who has that type of time to hunt down and backtrack the sources and citations!!! I'm just trying to make your day a little better with a smile or laugh, and not necessarily change your longterm educational level!!!

From here on out I pledge to include a significance level with all my posts, p<.001 with a high magnitude. E=MC square to the power for 4, bitches.

holy back hair

Wowsa. Put a shirt on. That is horrifying. That hairy, that gray. The stuff of nightmares:



PS, where the hell is this picture taken? There is all kinds of weird happenings going on here. Case and point:

• Is that old dude wearing ski boots?
• Is there some guy in the background with ski googles (to the right)?
• Is it like 90 degree, sunny and no snow?
• Is there someone topless wearing a straw hat (to the left)?
• Do you think that old dude is Santa on his summer vacation? Could be. We need some frontal exposure to indicate a beard, yes or no.
• Could that old dude pull up his jorts any further? Maybe he could make it so they cover up his entire back. And frankly, as tight as those jorts are you really don't need a belt!
  

Well this is definitely the picture of the day. Odd and entertaining all at once.

stupid song in my head

My friend M has learned lately what an a-mazing singer I am when in the car (fist pumping) or walking around the DT mall (butt dancing with an umbrella). I am alwayyys in tune, on the beat, and knowing all the lyrics. It is an experience you do not want to miss.

Case and point, for 3 days this stupid song has been in my head and M has heard about 30 versions of it throughout the holiday weekend:

jimmy does charlie

I have to admit, I never thought Jimmy Fallon would survive in late night (I mean did you see him in Taxi? or Taxi driver?), but he actually knocks my socks off regularly. Case and point, his new Charlie Sheen video. He really must be #winning. This impression is so accurate it is like initially watching Tina Fey do Sarah Palin, match, point, set:

picture of the day

Browsing some of the Grammy photos and ran across this one of Nicole's lonnnngggest. arm. ever.

Case and point:



Mohahahaha

perhaps children shouldn't drink this

Sometimes I have these moments where you learn about some different uses for the everyday things in our lives, and it freaks me out. Case and point, I remember a story of someone who couldn't get the lugnuts on their car wheel to loosen when changing a flat in the winter. The only thing this person had was a bottle of Coke, and sure enough that sugary pop ate away at the rust loosing the nut!!! How scary is that?!?! I drink that shit. If it can ate away at rust and steel, can you imagine what it is doing to my stomach!

In that vein, I just read about how people are using powdered Kool-aid to clean their toilet!!! Apparently it will do the job if you let it set overnight. Does anyone else wonder if these are good things to be serving children??? If a drink can clean your toilet, I'm pretty sure it should be your beverage of choice. Crap, I used to love Kool-aid and would eat the powder straight up. Maybe that is what is wrong with me....

I think I'll stick with my bleach tablets.

technology has made it to the masses

Well it's official....some advanced technology have made it to the masses. Case and point, a majority of the Christmas cards I received this year were just those picture post cards. The friends and family that would normally send a card or at least a letter update, only send one picture postcard with basic holiday salutations. No stories, no updates, just a picture.

You know what this means, right? It means that technology has officially made it to the masses, where older generations now know how to upload pictures to the internets and order holiday products. I mean these are people who couldn't turn on a computer 5 years ago, but now are making creative Christmas greetings. I just can't believe it, changes are happening. Maybe Momma B will be able to proactively do this next year???

Just an observation for ya'll.

give me a hot tottie

Hhaha, I just heard the new Usher and Jay-Z song called, Hot Tottie!!! Hahaha, hot tottie. That is soooo my late Grandma. She used to say this all the time "I need a hot tottie" or "I think we should cap the night off with a hot tottie." I, like the grand-daughter I should be, always use the term "Hot tottie" for when I put booze in any warm drink (OK occasionally a cold drink too!). Case and point, last night with warmed apple cider and jack daniels. Yum!

Well anyways here is the new song with alot of classic J interludes:



Loves it...HOT TOTTIES for everyone!!!