RIP crazy grandma

Well my crazy grandma passed on this AM and has joined my amazing, dirty grandpa (famous previous grandpa statement "your boobs are perfect, LL, because anything over a handful is just wasted"), who apparently she has been talking to recently! I love her dearly and she was a great woman. We had many a classic moments over the last 10 years which I'll never forget. I was going back through my pictures over lunch today and found two classic ones.

First, the big GS and I used to go get pedicures. This was an event, let me tell you. I'd call the spa ahead of time to make sure there were no steps in sight (steps = no good in the old lady world). Then I would call the old crazy bat to make sure she was up and at them that morning. I would swing by in the plastic pinto to pick her up, while making sure I kept my eye on her apartment key (she had a tendency to forget these things or leave them somewhere). Then we'd get her in and out of my car, and like clock work she would pull herself up out of my low riding car to say "Ahhh it's a bitch getting old." I'd get her inside and she would have to put on a robe and take off her pants, which to GS equated to taking off all her clothes, including her fake boob. She would explain to other spa-goers that she just got dressed like an hour ago and that was work! I'd make sure to load her up with lots of free coffee and cookies, and just relax the shit out of her. She loved it, and would tell my uncle Doug the next day "well my toes feel so good but I don't know when I had them done." I love you and your crappy memory (which I'm bound to inherit), GS:



Grandma, like myself, was also a drinker...not a damn lush, but a good drinking midwestern woman. As Momma B put in her obit "GS will be best remembered for her love of a cold beer and good conversation on the back porch of her log home." AMEN sista!!! That is like LL explained. So anyways one of my favorite memories was when I used to take the big GS out for dinner with my friends from college. During one meal with my best friend Helga, Grandma ordered a large margarita, bigger than Helga's order. Helga turns to me with a look of "seriously, your grandma just order a bigger tequila drink then me at the ripe age of 21???" Yes, yes that is correct. She was an amazing drinker. Here is a photo from my most recent visit last last September--she was a toothless wonder and said on the way home "I love going for rides when drunk" to my uncle and I:



Finally, one last GS story....she was a major fan of Butterscotch. Seriously, you could set your watch for when that amazing woman would order a butterscotch sundae. I used to go meet up with her and my grandpa just to hang out and visit (no olives on my pizza please), and she would always order some dessert. And for those that know me well, I don't eat dessert (does nothing for me--vodka on the other hand, right up my alley). But for my wonderful Grandma, I would always tell her I would split it. Once, when McBetty was visiting, she said "no" to grandma in her request for splitting some sugar substance. I had to education her later, that you never say "no" to GS when it comes to dessert. Just nod and say "yes" and then 10 minutes later when it arrives she won't remember and then just eat it all herself. For christ sake the lady is 90 years old and should be able to order whatever the hell she wants without feeling guilty.

So in honor of my Grandma, we all are heading back to MN tomorrow and Thursday. I would like to treat everyone to a round of Bud Light or margaritas, and then order some Butterscotch sundaes to celebrate her amazing life. I will miss you dearly, GS.

XOXOXO

PS, remind me to tell you about the story where she couldn't find her fake boob. Classic GS, classic. "I can't find my fake boob!!!!"