it's officially election season

Let the fun begin!!!!

I'd total vote for Ru Paul...her drag shows are the best:

hey girl, I don't give a shit

Well I had a hellish, yet fun week. I was to work by 7 AM everyday and drunk by 8 PM most nights. Apparently I've been working and playing pretty hard lately. This week, I spent some quality time with my girls where we constantly quoted 3 things which will make you laugh and stick in your head:

Number 1:

That stupid LMFAO song. All they're songs are stupid but soooo damn catchy (including the rock anthem). Now this one is my ringer that says "wiggle, wiggle, wiggle...I work out". Yesterday we were tailgating at the UVA game and it went off, and everyone was like what the hell is that. Wiggle, wiggle:



I work out. No fo real, I do. Yeah and I'm sexy and I know it.

Number 2:

I've been watching those wild animal shows lately. Not through cable television or with any factual base, but through one of my new favorite gay guys. Yep his name is Randell and he is an internets viral sensation. For example, check out this informational video about Honey Badgers:



So what is in my head, "Honey badgers, they don't give a shit". Nastyass honey badgers. What a badass, they just don't care. (I'm going to keep replying to you using these lovely new Honey Badger inspired saying).

Wow, I really like Randell. If you haven't already, you should totally subscribe to his YouTube channel and see what else he narrates (to classical music). For example, check out the Jesus Lizard.

Number 3:

While hanging out, B kept saying "hey girl" and I was like, that's from another viral video. Turns out we could quote the whole damn thing. Posted this a couple months ago after my gay husband was here for a visit, because it reminded me of his fierceness:



LOVES this. Could watch it, quote it, and love on it all damn day. All this week, Nik and I would laugh to this before going to bed:

• HEY GIRL! Hey girl.
  
• Nice try hoe
• But special, remember I'm special
• Rude...
• I can hear you bitches
• That's how you do it, bitch
• It's like pretty n' pink but the dress looked good

Now let's pull my fun week together into one phrase: "Hey girl, I work out, I don't give a shit"

secondary smrt protesters

I respect protesters. They have a cause and they are not afraid to yell it, to sign it, and to stand around promoting it. Despite they're obvious commitment, I mayyyy have a little more comedic respect for those secondary protesters. These are the people who stand next to the initial protester to blatantly mock their cause.

Case and point #1:

What doesn't kill you only makes your wrists stronger.

Case and point #2:

And on the gay note, here is one more added bonus for alittle extra giggle:



And a big round of applause. Nice work you creative secondary protesters. Way to hang around and adapt a secondary cause off of someone else's protesting efforts. I imagine this happens without the protester even knowing what is happening. They are just standing there being all opinionated not knowing others are actually making fun of them.

I like it.

the gayest laugh

Last month that sexy silver fox, Anderson, totally lost it in a fit of giggles on his show. When my gay husband was in town this month I showed him the video and we agreed that anyone that hears this giggle cannot deny that he is gay. I love that Anderson, who is an epic journalist, loses all integrable sense when talking about an actor who tried to pee in a bottle on an airplane.

And this for sure is a giggle, not a laugh or chuckle. I don't laugh like this. It surely isn't from that classic scene in Mary Poppin....Anderson is really trying to control his giggle fit. And at about 2:00, he proves he definitely is gay:



If I worked in radio I would isolate that giggle and play it over and over and over as the best sound bite ever.

I agree with black, calm down

I am going to write in Lewis Black for President next November. For reals, I like his dark, angry rants that are full of straight-talking for reals commentary. Between apple juice and dancing drama, I like him. Trust me this is worth 5 minutes of your life...so angry, so correct:

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

and this one is for you

my loverpants K, may you continue to get your groove back:

where can I marry a gay cousin

Apparently, it's way more acceptable to be in love with someone who shares your genes than someone who shares your junk. We as a nation are just way more tolerant of unions that increase the risk of congenital birth defects than we are of unions that might make us watch two dudes kiss. As soon as gay marriage gets legalized nationwide, can we start a movement to define marriage as being between "two people, of either same or opposite sex, who did not meet at their family reunion?"

a conversation I would have

Hahahaha:

It's a new gay, hip MN

Well Minneapolis is one of my favorite, all time, cities in the world. And although it has been awhile since I lived there, I started noticing these new trends back in the early 2000's. Recent news highlights two new trends, increases in:

1. Hipsters
2. Gays

Apparently, MN has taken the lead in hipsters (and for the record I've had to explain what this term means to more people than I'm comfortable with--pop culture people, keep up), overcoming all time leader of greater NYC. Brooklyn and the Bronx has been known for their dark rimmed glasses, tight jeans, alternative music, independent thinking and general vegetarian. Well good work MN is taking the top spot. Who know you were so progressive (although I do remember saying to Helga a time or two "fucking hipsters!" when we would be out as concerts).

I think they make a good case for MN, with our stupid flannel shirts (I really REALLY hate flannel shirts--just kill me now), farmer's markets, a-mazing music scene, and self-propelled tendencies (no need to tie up your pant leg from your bike chain, you're already wearing tight pants). And not surprisingly, Portland is definitely a close third. And for that matter, Cville might also be right up there in our hipster tendencies as well. Actually, we are alittle more east coast douchey than hipstery.

OK so we know MN is hip, but apparently they are also now gayer than CA! And let me tell you, that isn't an easy thing to do with all the donkeys and in general the big bright rainbow over San Fran:

The Daily Show - Minneapolis Is the New Gay
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

So I've known MN was gay, and definitely getting gayer. My gay husband lives in MN and I love him very much. 8 years ago I was his beard and would go to more gay bars than straight ones! We had a great time dancing for hours, hot tubing, and singing show tunes. Good times. Gay, yes we all knew that in MN.

it's just pink polish

What is wrong with boys wearing pink "neon" nail polish??? Calm down everyone. For the record, I will encourage my children to express themselves however they want, be that with pink nail polish or temporary tattoo sleeves or long hair (exercise patience LL), and love them all the same. Johnny boy's got a point, believe or not polish comes off and isn't permanent, so relax please:

picture of the day

What is this business? Homo dairy products? Yes, indeed, drinking milk is sort of gay.

Again, you need someone to proofread your business and make sure that your telemarketing isn't off. Hire me, I could totally do that.

slow news day?

The Bieb cutting his hair is not news. Now, if someone cut Bieber, that would be news. Additionally, News, combing your hair to the other side is not a haircut. It looks like the Bieb mayyyy have got a trim and then basically combed it over in the other direction so it looked less lesbian-ish. Still not breaking news folks.

BO agrees, It Gets Better

It's been a rough week or two for teen suicide and bullying, specially as it relates to GLBT youth. So sad. Celebrities and bullied individuals across the world have sat down at their webcams to create personal videos for the "It gets better" campaign. Some of these videos are pretty inspiring and directed to people are in the worse part of their lives, who are teased or taunted, who don't know the outside world, who feel as if they are alone and it will never get better. Earlier this week Hillary made a video and then I think BO got some crap too, so he made it part of his weekly podcast address. Yep, it will get better....

finally a little due respect

Well last night was the Emmy's and I am just sooooo happy with the results. Yeah yeah yeah!!! For the first time in 5 years, Kyra Sedgwich won for Best Actress in a Drama for the Closer. Yeah. I love her. She is one of the most talented actors, and plays that role to a t. Congrats. I've been cheering for her for years, and she deserves it. (also if you love the Closer, check out this list...I called all the top ones)

Second best result of the night was when Jim Parson's won for Best Actor for a Comedy for the Big Bang Theory. This is an amazingly funny show that deserves more respect, and funnily represents academia. It is brilliant show and has generally been shit on over the last couple years. Congrats, Jim, you make me laugh so hard. Bazinga!

Also noteable happenings last night included the opening number. I particularly like the jab at Kate G, and the amazing grinding bootie dance with John Hamm and Betty White. Oh Betty, you make me laugh so hard:



Finally, Modern Family, winner of Best Comedy Series, also did a really funny skit. I loved it because that sexy silver fox was in it and because it support the gays. I'm a gay supporter:

effective telemarketing

So I call all "advertising" telemarketing which stems back to a long standing joke with Helga. Apparently her family was having a hard time understanding her career choice and when she would explain "I'm in advertising" they would jump to "So, what? that's like telemarketing?" I'm completely on board with this conclusion, and generally find any form of advertising something to do with annoying telemarketing.

For example, I ran across this ad suggesting that parents should get their young sons karaaraarate lessons (judo chop). Well, yes, we all need some ass-kicking lessons from time to time (gotta keep captain and tenille in shape), but I'm not sure this child is going to make it to a black belt. I do, however, agree that he is going to have to tone up those legs if he is going to fit into 3 inch heels:

Effective telemarketing? Yes, I do believe for any homophobic father, done and done.

some bacon I might enjoy

I bet these new meat products are all natural, organic, and will be a hit right here in the big Cville:

WOW!!! It is like the homo-gay version of meat products. All colors of the rainbow represented right here in my BLT or on my breakfast plate. Yum! Because you know I'm normally a huge fan of bacon (which stinks up my home and sticks to my clothes), and now I can add a little food coloring (not like I want to have children anyways) to make it even more irresistible. I wonder if little children would like to eat this business....who are we targeting with this product?

So here is what I don't get, this product was made by a "designer" like it is a fashion statement and not something scientists should be working on. Really? The producers say it is "unique and fun" which translated means "looks pretty but you may die eating it."

Serve me up some! I like gay meat.