Showing posts with label travel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label travel. Show all posts
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
music of the moment
Been listening to and lovin the new band from Iceland, Of Monsters and Men:
There is alittle Mumford in there with some lovely female undertones. Diggin it yo.
There is alittle Mumford in there with some lovely female undertones. Diggin it yo.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
hey fattie, go here
Gosh, everyone has been telling me what to do lately...what to eat, when to eat and now I ran across this instruction in the airport:
Let me translate for you:
Attention all heifers, coral yourself to the right and suck it in as you enter the effortless mode of transportation. Anyone who's legs are still the size of their arms can take the damn stairs and get a hot dog at the top. The rest of you fatties merge to the right and continue your obese lifestyle.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
the best posed photo ever
Wow. Just wow. I'm in a current state of a-mazed-ness. Let me explain....
For years I have had a small, minor, yet continuous obsession with posing on, against, and with phallic-like statues, monuments, and erect things. Me and my fun friends have done it with my butt, with my hands and a butt, with two fingers, and with two hands....wait what are we talking about?!?! I lost my train of thought...
Ohhh right, so posing with things has moved to a new epic level upon the discovery of this slightly pornographic photo that pushes me to get more creative in my picture taking abilities:
For years I have had a small, minor, yet continuous obsession with posing on, against, and with phallic-like statues, monuments, and erect things. Me and my fun friends have done it with my butt, with my hands and a butt, with two fingers, and with two hands....wait what are we talking about?!?! I lost my train of thought...
Ohhh right, so posing with things has moved to a new epic level upon the discovery of this slightly pornographic photo that pushes me to get more creative in my picture taking abilities:
Wowsa. I'm glad that this photo also captured the girl on the right, doing the tired, old "Holding Up The Leaning Tower Of Pisa" pose. Been there, done that and apparently I need to step up my game. I expect that she felt instantly ashamed of being such a tourist cliche, especially next to these Jersey Shore-like guy's amount of creativity.
I wonder if this will launch a hot new trend in vacation snaps, "I got penetrated by Pisa!" It could totally happen.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
stop eating butter, norway needs it
I'm not sure if you are aware or not, but Norway is currently in a butter crisis. No for real, you j-hole of a fat American, this is a serious problem. Norwegian children are getting stuck between things and not being about to use butter as a greaser. Norwegian turkeys are lacking the butterball brown glow. The Norwegian Lutheran white rolls are going un-extreme-buttered. Cri-sis.
I was recently in Norway, and I didn't notice any butter shortages or butter fueled protests. I did notice the plethora of meat products including sardines and foamy meat. Perhaps I was focusing on the wrong thing...
Well anyways, all the American comedians have been making light of these crisis and one transgendered Norwegian has had enough of it! He is putting on some make-up, a fierce lip gloss, and setting up his webcam for a good youtube protest:
PREACH ON Tommy, preach on!!! This video is very reminiscent of the "leave britney alone" video which went viral during Britney's (bitch) meltdown period. At least Tommy wasn't under a sheet, but instead was working a fabulous asymmetrical haircut out in the open.
Well what is the message here, stop picking on butter....right?
I was recently in Norway, and I didn't notice any butter shortages or butter fueled protests. I did notice the plethora of meat products including sardines and foamy meat. Perhaps I was focusing on the wrong thing...
Well anyways, all the American comedians have been making light of these crisis and one transgendered Norwegian has had enough of it! He is putting on some make-up, a fierce lip gloss, and setting up his webcam for a good youtube protest:
PREACH ON Tommy, preach on!!! This video is very reminiscent of the "leave britney alone" video which went viral during Britney's (bitch) meltdown period. At least Tommy wasn't under a sheet, but instead was working a fabulous asymmetrical haircut out in the open.
Well what is the message here, stop picking on butter....right?
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
I want to live in effin
I used to live near a town called Leslie, which would have been cool is I lived on a similar named street within the town. LL, on LL St, in LL-ville. Same thing happened with my cousin in the Seattle area. It could totally happen...
Speaking on towns I'd like to live in, I recently read about a town called "Effin". Where is this you ask??? Why of course it is in Ireland, land of one of my favorite word "FECK" and 200,000 shades of green. This country town has a whopping 1000 people but has become an international sensation once Facebook (in all it's infinite wisdom) decided not to recognize it as a true city.
Facebook, what an j-hole. I knew that rich ginger Zuckerman/burg wears an asshat. Many previous citizens from the great city of EFFIN have started facebook campaigns and appealed to the FB gods. However, these efforts have fallen short as the town is still not recognized as a legit locality. Some irate FBers have stated "I'm a proud Effin woman" and that just made me giggle.
This sounds like a mathematical problem, or FB is really bad at geography. We need to get Sheldon on this business. I bet it is all about the html code and algorithms. See EFFIN is just too close to many swear words and FB is gonna cockblock the shit out of you until you move into a more normally coined town.
And thus another solid reason to hate on facebook and that famous backstabbing ginger.
Speaking on towns I'd like to live in, I recently read about a town called "Effin". Where is this you ask??? Why of course it is in Ireland, land of one of my favorite word "FECK" and 200,000 shades of green. This country town has a whopping 1000 people but has become an international sensation once Facebook (in all it's infinite wisdom) decided not to recognize it as a true city.
Facebook, what an j-hole. I knew that rich ginger Zuckerman/burg wears an asshat. Many previous citizens from the great city of EFFIN have started facebook campaigns and appealed to the FB gods. However, these efforts have fallen short as the town is still not recognized as a legit locality. Some irate FBers have stated "I'm a proud Effin woman" and that just made me giggle.
This sounds like a mathematical problem, or FB is really bad at geography. We need to get Sheldon on this business. I bet it is all about the html code and algorithms. See EFFIN is just too close to many swear words and FB is gonna cockblock the shit out of you until you move into a more normally coined town.
And thus another solid reason to hate on facebook and that famous backstabbing ginger.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
sardines and orange donkeys
So for those that don't know I spent a good week in the great land 'o Norway last week. I was doing a training for work, but got a good 4 hours of fun in between. Really, those Norwegians know how to work a girl out. Despite this I did get to see some of the country side, learn about sardines and try to love on some orange donkeys:
Go LL go!!! I'm on a boat and see I'm in Norway (hence the Norwegian flag).
These are the famous Fjordes, which are naturally made fingerlets on the coast. Apparently they were made from the ice ages and are very deep with high rocks. Amazingly pretty.
Wowsa that is tall and high and rocky. Blue sky, that blue sky makes me all warm and fuzzy instead.
So yesss Norway rocked my world. My suitcase was late after 24 hours of flying, but things got better. I was hosted to the mosted this trip. It has come to a point where I'm thinking, man can you just leave me alone for awhile so that I can sit in my room by myself. There is all these group meals, where they embrace their collaborative nature. I like this part, and something American's should do more. But within reason and perhaps not 3+ times a day! What a loner I am, but seriously sometimes I just want to shed that professional LL nature to do my two favorite things: drink and swear.
One of the nights I was invited to one of my host's homes for a traditional Norwegian holiday dinner that was a-mazing. There was champagne, and local beer, and some local potato liquor. I was a good girl but they had to put me in a taxi back to my hotel at the end of the night. I like it when the hosts are too drunk to drive the guest home—this is my type of country, I mean you have to drink just to stay warm. Anyways we had sweeeedish potatoes, and sheep ribs rehydrated covered with a butter/bacon gravy. Yeah this was definitely low cal. This meat was dehydrated and salted, then soaked for days, and then boiled over birch branches, and then baked into some crispy meat business. It was interesting and I ate it all like a pro. I didn't insult the host until I said I didn't want chocolate cake at the end, which was soooo typically me (no cake for me but can I have another sheep rib please?).
On that food note, I have been eating a ridiculous amount of meat. I swear, there is weird meat everywhere, at every meal, and for each snack time. I had to eat Veel/veal/veil/vail last night and put a smile on my face the entire time. It wasn't too bad but geeeez can a girl get a salad? I asked if there are any vegetarians or vegans in Norway and they all said "NO" without any hesitation. At breakfast there was puffed or foamy meat (which I undoubtedly avoided). I should just continue eating meat the last day because I got emails from my food/meat family today warning me that over 50 people have got sick and there has been a recall on Basil in Norway---great, death by basil is much worse than over consumption of meat product.
I also learned wayyyy more about seafood and fish then I really needed. I went to the canning museum and I was excited to learn about the history of canned veggies and fruits, only to find out it was ALLLLL seafood and sardines. Can't wait for Santa gifts this year and EVERYONE is getting Norwegian sardines (say it like Oprah, "you get a sardine", "you get a sardine").
As a final note, I also noticed that the Norwegian cross walks have Dick Tracy in them. Some are gender neutral while others have top hats, shoes, and fitted coats. Yesss Dick Tracy is in Norweigan and warning pedestrians of on-coming traffic.
Go LL go!!! I'm on a boat and see I'm in Norway (hence the Norwegian flag).
These are the famous Fjordes, which are naturally made fingerlets on the coast. Apparently they were made from the ice ages and are very deep with high rocks. Amazingly pretty.
Wowsa that is tall and high and rocky. Blue sky, that blue sky makes me all warm and fuzzy instead.
So yesss Norway rocked my world. My suitcase was late after 24 hours of flying, but things got better. I was hosted to the mosted this trip. It has come to a point where I'm thinking, man can you just leave me alone for awhile so that I can sit in my room by myself. There is all these group meals, where they embrace their collaborative nature. I like this part, and something American's should do more. But within reason and perhaps not 3+ times a day! What a loner I am, but seriously sometimes I just want to shed that professional LL nature to do my two favorite things: drink and swear.
One of the nights I was invited to one of my host's homes for a traditional Norwegian holiday dinner that was a-mazing. There was champagne, and local beer, and some local potato liquor. I was a good girl but they had to put me in a taxi back to my hotel at the end of the night. I like it when the hosts are too drunk to drive the guest home—this is my type of country, I mean you have to drink just to stay warm. Anyways we had sweeeedish potatoes, and sheep ribs rehydrated covered with a butter/bacon gravy. Yeah this was definitely low cal. This meat was dehydrated and salted, then soaked for days, and then boiled over birch branches, and then baked into some crispy meat business. It was interesting and I ate it all like a pro. I didn't insult the host until I said I didn't want chocolate cake at the end, which was soooo typically me (no cake for me but can I have another sheep rib please?).
On that food note, I have been eating a ridiculous amount of meat. I swear, there is weird meat everywhere, at every meal, and for each snack time. I had to eat Veel/veal/veil/vail last night and put a smile on my face the entire time. It wasn't too bad but geeeez can a girl get a salad? I asked if there are any vegetarians or vegans in Norway and they all said "NO" without any hesitation. At breakfast there was puffed or foamy meat (which I undoubtedly avoided). I should just continue eating meat the last day because I got emails from my food/meat family today warning me that over 50 people have got sick and there has been a recall on Basil in Norway---great, death by basil is much worse than over consumption of meat product.
I also learned wayyyy more about seafood and fish then I really needed. I went to the canning museum and I was excited to learn about the history of canned veggies and fruits, only to find out it was ALLLLL seafood and sardines. Can't wait for Santa gifts this year and EVERYONE is getting Norwegian sardines (say it like Oprah, "you get a sardine", "you get a sardine").
As a final note, I also noticed that the Norwegian cross walks have Dick Tracy in them. Some are gender neutral while others have top hats, shoes, and fitted coats. Yesss Dick Tracy is in Norweigan and warning pedestrians of on-coming traffic.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
it's time for alittle helga
I'm in extreme preparation for an exciting trip to CA. We're going back, back, back, to cali, cali, cali (insert notorious B-I-G). I am going to get my yearly dose of Helga time, my all time best butt rubbing, leg humping, lover pants friend. I'm going to sass the shit out of her, and extreme whistle, and rub my feet on her pillows, and bark at her, and be super duper cheerful in the morning. It is gonna be great...I can't wait.
Helga, you are welcome to sit on my lap anytime:
Also, I'm pretty sure I am going to hump your leg. Be that in a parking lot or on a train or on a plane. Look out, hump hump hump:
Considering we are in CA, I imagine there is going to be hiking happening. You know where my foot can take it. So we will be in the woods, hugging trees and loving mother nature (PS, I still have this t-shirt):
I hope we will be on a boat somewhere, just so I can sing, "I'm on a boat..I'm on a mother f-ing boat." I really love cities with water in them, especially when they have boats, like ferry boats or tour boats:
I am positive there is going to be some drinking. I mean, it's LL, right? Yeah, so it may not look exactly like this blow job shot taking, but definitely some drinking:
Along with the drinking, I hope to laugh my balls off. I'm going to laugh and laugh, and then laugh at you, and finally laugh at me. It's gonna be great, no seriousness here:
And finally, we will have some hugging. Helga may try to push me away, but I'm 6 foot tall, bigger than you, and can wrap my arms 4x around you. Deal with it. And my personality is 2x times as big as normal people which means, I'm coming and we are going to embrace:
Woot woot, see you Saturday you hooker!
Helga, you are welcome to sit on my lap anytime:
Also, I'm pretty sure I am going to hump your leg. Be that in a parking lot or on a train or on a plane. Look out, hump hump hump:
Considering we are in CA, I imagine there is going to be hiking happening. You know where my foot can take it. So we will be in the woods, hugging trees and loving mother nature (PS, I still have this t-shirt):
I hope we will be on a boat somewhere, just so I can sing, "I'm on a boat..I'm on a mother f-ing boat." I really love cities with water in them, especially when they have boats, like ferry boats or tour boats:
I am positive there is going to be some drinking. I mean, it's LL, right? Yeah, so it may not look exactly like this blow job shot taking, but definitely some drinking:
Along with the drinking, I hope to laugh my balls off. I'm going to laugh and laugh, and then laugh at you, and finally laugh at me. It's gonna be great, no seriousness here:
And finally, we will have some hugging. Helga may try to push me away, but I'm 6 foot tall, bigger than you, and can wrap my arms 4x around you. Deal with it. And my personality is 2x times as big as normal people which means, I'm coming and we are going to embrace:
Woot woot, see you Saturday you hooker!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
open letter to seattle
Dear Seattle,
I'm sooo looking forward to coming for a visit in two weeks. I miss you lots, you know with your constant cover of cloud and moderately tempered weather. I'd like to visit with family, catch a flying fish, eat an almond crosssssant, go canhoooo-ing, get on a big b-ooo-a-t, see the twins and BS with Scott, spot a sparkly vampire, and go see DMB at the Gorge. The reality is I may only accomplish the first goal here because UW screwed my alternative-non-work-related plans earlier this fall. Alas I get one free night.
While in Seattle, if possible, I'd like to spot this new mode of transportation I recently read about. I'm a bike supporter, especially when they add a fast swimmer to it (aka, sperm). Not shooting blanks anymore! (to quote my fav grad school friends). I'd like to see this bike, ride on this bike, and buy one for my own personal use around Cville:
Wow Seattle, way to be environmentally friendly and telemarketingly conscious. I like it. Now go make me a computer or a cup of coffee.
See you soon!
Sincerely yours always and forevvvver,
LL
I'm sooo looking forward to coming for a visit in two weeks. I miss you lots, you know with your constant cover of cloud and moderately tempered weather. I'd like to visit with family, catch a flying fish, eat an almond crosssssant, go canhoooo-ing, get on a big b-ooo-a-t, see the twins and BS with Scott, spot a sparkly vampire, and go see DMB at the Gorge. The reality is I may only accomplish the first goal here because UW screwed my alternative-non-work-related plans earlier this fall. Alas I get one free night.
While in Seattle, if possible, I'd like to spot this new mode of transportation I recently read about. I'm a bike supporter, especially when they add a fast swimmer to it (aka, sperm). Not shooting blanks anymore! (to quote my fav grad school friends). I'd like to see this bike, ride on this bike, and buy one for my own personal use around Cville:
Wow Seattle, way to be environmentally friendly and telemarketingly conscious. I like it. Now go make me a computer or a cup of coffee.
See you soon!
Sincerely yours always and forevvvver,
LL
Saturday, November 5, 2011
you wanker bankers
Well I love me some Irishmen especially when they swear and talk about drinking and give their view on the financial situation in the US. That's right it is all just a bunch of wanker bankers:
Everyone who's been waiting for the Occupy movement to fall in line behind a unified message, well I'd like to nominate this guy as the official spokesman. Sometimes it takes a charming ethnic stereotype to clarify exactly how fecked we really are. Now go get me a pint.
Everyone who's been waiting for the Occupy movement to fall in line behind a unified message, well I'd like to nominate this guy as the official spokesman. Sometimes it takes a charming ethnic stereotype to clarify exactly how fecked we really are. Now go get me a pint.
Monday, October 31, 2011
happy spooooky halloween
Well Happy (adults get to act stupid day) Halloween! I'm currently sitting in the international wing of the ATL, lovin me some live jazz music, and watching all the cute kiddos who get to wear their halloween all day long while rushing to their flights. I want to throw candy at them!
This got me thinking about some good halloween costumes, some of which I witnessed this weekend. Nik and I throw a big old halloween party which again ended with a bathroom debriefing around 3:30 AM. This wasn't because anyone was sick, but more just a chatty chat ritual. That dry ice fun was totally worth it. We had some amazing costumes, including a little HP, some strange cat with tin foil, Sookie (although we got no HBO retweet), the walk of shame, and a miss understood former beauty queen:
Other noteworthy costumes I ran across this year include:
Creative, but Pixar sooo is gonna sue you. Perhaps you should stick to something hot and spicy
Man, this piano playing man is totally blowing my mind. You just made this 24 hours of travel day for me. I'm gonna tip the shit out of him.
This got me thinking about some good halloween costumes, some of which I witnessed this weekend. Nik and I throw a big old halloween party which again ended with a bathroom debriefing around 3:30 AM. This wasn't because anyone was sick, but more just a chatty chat ritual. That dry ice fun was totally worth it. We had some amazing costumes, including a little HP, some strange cat with tin foil, Sookie (although we got no HBO retweet), the walk of shame, and a miss understood former beauty queen:
Other noteworthy costumes I ran across this year include:
Creative, but Pixar sooo is gonna sue you. Perhaps you should stick to something hot and spicy
Man, this piano playing man is totally blowing my mind. You just made this 24 hours of travel day for me. I'm gonna tip the shit out of him.
Monday, October 24, 2011
midnight sun takes my breath
Take 4 minutes to be amazed to something that is so natural and pretty that it just takes my breath away:
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
forget online dating
My best friends and I used to take road trips every year. D/T/C would get into a car and drive to neighboring states in order to drink lots of beer. We would stay with friends and attend beer festivals for extended weekend o' fun (where on such trips we would learn that anything that has "o' ___" in the title freaks me out alittle).
These were the good spontaneous times, where we would wander around the great city of Raleigh, which I still cannot properly pronounce (shocker). During these nighttime wanderings we'd step into basement bars to get picked up by drunk lesbian arm wrestlers, or hang out on a rooftop bar social inter-coursing with bartenders about how to make cilantro infused martinis.
On these trips, we also learned the international signal for "muddling" or jerking off, AND discussed the plethora of signage we would pass that encouraged local dating throughout the countryside. D thought I should call these local numbers for a good time. But for reals, who wants to date some hillbilly in northern North Carolina??? RAISE YOUR HAND!
Although I was not on board with those dating signage, however I am completely enthusiastic about this roadside telemarketing campaign for sex:
These were the good spontaneous times, where we would wander around the great city of Raleigh, which I still cannot properly pronounce (shocker). During these nighttime wanderings we'd step into basement bars to get picked up by drunk lesbian arm wrestlers, or hang out on a rooftop bar social inter-coursing with bartenders about how to make cilantro infused martinis.
On these trips, we also learned the international signal for "muddling" or jerking off, AND discussed the plethora of signage we would pass that encouraged local dating throughout the countryside. D thought I should call these local numbers for a good time. But for reals, who wants to date some hillbilly in northern North Carolina??? RAISE YOUR HAND!
Although I was not on board with those dating signage, however I am completely enthusiastic about this roadside telemarketing campaign for sex:
And don't call you bitches, I only accept some s/texting (you know sexy texting). I mean why even waste your time on dating, let's just get right to business and offer up the fast swimmers. This guy is clearly not shooting blanks. Quick, someone google where the area code "512" is!?!?!? Let me know if this is a possibility because I'm allll over it.
Wow, way to put it right out there. And wow, way to use different colors markers whilst making your signage, that is pretty impressive. No beating around the bush either in the message, not buying dinner or drinks. Just some straight up, get-you-knocked-up telemarketing whilst on the drive home. I like it.
Friday, July 15, 2011
an impromptu NYC trip
Well last month, I decided to take an impromptu weekend get away to NYC, to shake myself out of a funk. My best friend/soul mate/lover pants was commuting cross-continental for work and crashing with our MN friend Sarah (now dubbed 1.0). I decided this was a good weekend to take the train up to Manhattan to accomplish the following goals:
After my wicked 7 hour train ride directly from Cville into Manhattan without any transfers, Helga and I had drinks on an NYC sidewalk with a tiny British man who I think may have liked my sassiness (insert half accomplishing goal #2 above). Then we took a taxi into the depths of Brooklyn only to walk back to a grocery store for booze and supplies. Unfortunately, the booze turned out to be "wine product" which roughly equates to glorified grape juice. My goal for the rest of the weekend was to drink these two bottles of wine product--I didn't want to waste any booze, be that from the "wine product" category, and I felt like a college student again walking around with a backpack full of pseudo booze. Success.
That night we walked to some huge Brooklyn park with meet up with 15 other Minnesotans, and about 15,000 other New Yorkers for an outdoor concert (insert half accomplishing goal #4 above). Sometime past midnight, after many all the other concert-goers had left, we pealed the crusted cheese puffs and cherry pits from our butts to drag ourselves home.
The weekend was perfect for me, cloudy and atypically cold. Let's run around naked!!! Instead, we stayed inside cooking phattie brunches, watching HP (which was brought all the way from CA), and recovering. Cheese grits anyone? I got to see the Statue of Liberty in all her glory after waddling around a hipster grocery store eating organic granola.
Later that night we went into Manhattan for an impromptu BBQ with those 15 Minnesotans in some downtown? uptown? midtown? (OK somewhere on the island) loft. After much relaxing and drinking, we started walking to the meat packing district in hopes of finding some dancing. Luckily we stumbled across a club where Sarah2.0 danced in a basement fountain with floating plastic balls. At some ungodly hour, we headed upstairs where there was more fountains and a number of beds throughout the dance floor. Sarah2.0 tried to jump out a window but luckily there were bouncers who gave her the evil eye. There were those fake candles throughout the upstairs which we danced with and which I pocketed in my clutch for future use. This little light of mine:
That candle led us home at 4 AM (insert full accomplishment of goal #3 above), provided us with light during extreme hung over states the next morning, and will continue to provide comfort within Sarah1.0's apartment for years to come. Sunday was a traveling home day, but not after Sarah1.0 and I relaxed on her apartment's rooftop patio drinking coffee for an hour or so (insert full accomplishment of goal #5 above).
Well that means that I did not reach goal #1 above. I didn't see anyone having sex, which is really OK, but perhaps necessitates a future trip.
On unrelated note, I received the most wicked awesome set of pillow cases from Helga. Check these bad boys out:
Mustache rides anyone? Yes please.
- See someone having sex against a wall in the meat packing district
- Spot an anorexic model in 4 inch heels (and hope she takes a digger in front of you)
- Dance until 4 AM
- Walk through Brooklyn with Spike Lee
- Sit on a rooftop patio overlooking something inspiring
After my wicked 7 hour train ride directly from Cville into Manhattan without any transfers, Helga and I had drinks on an NYC sidewalk with a tiny British man who I think may have liked my sassiness (insert half accomplishing goal #2 above). Then we took a taxi into the depths of Brooklyn only to walk back to a grocery store for booze and supplies. Unfortunately, the booze turned out to be "wine product" which roughly equates to glorified grape juice. My goal for the rest of the weekend was to drink these two bottles of wine product--I didn't want to waste any booze, be that from the "wine product" category, and I felt like a college student again walking around with a backpack full of pseudo booze. Success.
That night we walked to some huge Brooklyn park with meet up with 15 other Minnesotans, and about 15,000 other New Yorkers for an outdoor concert (insert half accomplishing goal #4 above). Sometime past midnight, after many all the other concert-goers had left, we pealed the crusted cheese puffs and cherry pits from our butts to drag ourselves home.
The weekend was perfect for me, cloudy and atypically cold. Let's run around naked!!! Instead, we stayed inside cooking phattie brunches, watching HP (which was brought all the way from CA), and recovering. Cheese grits anyone? I got to see the Statue of Liberty in all her glory after waddling around a hipster grocery store eating organic granola.
Later that night we went into Manhattan for an impromptu BBQ with those 15 Minnesotans in some downtown? uptown? midtown? (OK somewhere on the island) loft. After much relaxing and drinking, we started walking to the meat packing district in hopes of finding some dancing. Luckily we stumbled across a club where Sarah2.0 danced in a basement fountain with floating plastic balls. At some ungodly hour, we headed upstairs where there was more fountains and a number of beds throughout the dance floor. Sarah2.0 tried to jump out a window but luckily there were bouncers who gave her the evil eye. There were those fake candles throughout the upstairs which we danced with and which I pocketed in my clutch for future use. This little light of mine:
That candle led us home at 4 AM (insert full accomplishment of goal #3 above), provided us with light during extreme hung over states the next morning, and will continue to provide comfort within Sarah1.0's apartment for years to come. Sunday was a traveling home day, but not after Sarah1.0 and I relaxed on her apartment's rooftop patio drinking coffee for an hour or so (insert full accomplishment of goal #5 above).
Well that means that I did not reach goal #1 above. I didn't see anyone having sex, which is really OK, but perhaps necessitates a future trip.
On unrelated note, I received the most wicked awesome set of pillow cases from Helga. Check these bad boys out:
Mustache rides anyone? Yes please.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
getting my Elvis on
Well if you are checking my Twitter feed, you'd know I had a last minute trip to Memphis this week that was immediate shot to shit by the horrid south snow storms. It took me 24 hours to go from Cville to the home of Blues music. I spent most of Th/F working and ended up having to stay in town on Saturday for some follow-up meetings. This sort of sucked because my initial plan was to make the 3 hour trip to Nashville for the weekend to visit a friend. No playing for LL. Sad.
So yesterday after meetings, I decided to go tour Elvis's home, Graceland, since I couldn't make it across the state. I had a GREAT time at Graceland and decided that Elvis and I would have been good friends (BFFs?).....all the sparkles, the eccentric tastes, the love of music (and booze equally). McBetty agreed with me via text about the love of booze, but we agreed that the King and I differed on the pill addiction--I said I plan to try that in my 30's (which Poppa B did not think was funny at all)!
Here are some pictures from the afternoon of Elvis:
The front of Graceland. The back extended into horse stables, indoor racketball courts, offices, a pool, and a meditation garden.
Elvis is burned in his original meditation garden, which apparently was one of his favorite places on the property. It was recently his birthday so there was fanfare everywhere.
The King had all kinds of different rooms throughout his house. They said when he would travel he would bring back pieces of things that inspired him....like the Hawaii themed room full of craved wood furniture. I liked all the stained glass throughout. And I particularly enjoyed this full fabric-ed game room. WICKED!!!! I am going to fabric my ceiling someday.
I liked looking at Elvis's fashion and I appreciated all this charitable work. He felt very blessed for his success and gave alot of it away. I liked this, very very much. And I didn't realize the way he crossed over in all his music--winning award for Christian, Blue, Country genres. A-mazing.
After Graceland, I made my second visit to the most famous BBQ in Memphis. I sat at the bar, and enjoyed my time eatin, drinkin, and socializin with the bartender.
Well I fly out tonight but am headed to Jackson (half way between Memphis and Nashville) to meet my friend for lunch and some shopping. Here's to a little Memphis/TN visit....
So yesterday after meetings, I decided to go tour Elvis's home, Graceland, since I couldn't make it across the state. I had a GREAT time at Graceland and decided that Elvis and I would have been good friends (BFFs?).....all the sparkles, the eccentric tastes, the love of music (and booze equally). McBetty agreed with me via text about the love of booze, but we agreed that the King and I differed on the pill addiction--I said I plan to try that in my 30's (which Poppa B did not think was funny at all)!
Here are some pictures from the afternoon of Elvis:
The front of Graceland. The back extended into horse stables, indoor racketball courts, offices, a pool, and a meditation garden.
Elvis is burned in his original meditation garden, which apparently was one of his favorite places on the property. It was recently his birthday so there was fanfare everywhere.
The King had all kinds of different rooms throughout his house. They said when he would travel he would bring back pieces of things that inspired him....like the Hawaii themed room full of craved wood furniture. I liked all the stained glass throughout. And I particularly enjoyed this full fabric-ed game room. WICKED!!!! I am going to fabric my ceiling someday.
I liked looking at Elvis's fashion and I appreciated all this charitable work. He felt very blessed for his success and gave alot of it away. I liked this, very very much. And I didn't realize the way he crossed over in all his music--winning award for Christian, Blue, Country genres. A-mazing.
After Graceland, I made my second visit to the most famous BBQ in Memphis. I sat at the bar, and enjoyed my time eatin, drinkin, and socializin with the bartender.
Well I fly out tonight but am headed to Jackson (half way between Memphis and Nashville) to meet my friend for lunch and some shopping. Here's to a little Memphis/TN visit....
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
the epic beach trip review
(reminder: JB empty your bladder before reading!)
(note: click images for larger view)
Last fall in Texasssss, we started planning the next girls week/end fall trip away and 365+ days later we got some stories.....
As I mentioned previously, the fall vacation week began with a little Marine marathon in DC. Shortly after we got JB iced down and feed, we strapped her and her 75 pound suitcase to the plastic pinto for our drive south to the OBX of NC. This road trip was reminiscent of those drunken college trips through MN in that amazing burnt grass colored plastic beast--still running on fumes! For 7 days, we rented a beach house and had an amazing 4-some of fun and relaxation:
So the drive was pretty eventful and started the week off in typical LL fashion. We stopped for gas outside of Richmond and to buy chocolate milk (what are we 12?). I was pre-occupied with JB not being able to walk that I forgot to take out the gas hose from my car, and we pulled away.....can you guess it?....we heard a pop, a thud? a crunch? OK, we heard a noise which made me stop and apparently give Helga a face of honest surprise (which she claims she has never genuinely seen on my face) as I glanced in my side mirror. That's right, I drove away with the hose in my car, ripping it out of the pump/station. What happened next resulted in these one-liners and amazing after photo:
Once we got to the beach house we basked in the glory of 4 stories, 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms (including the tree house toilet on the 4 1/2 floor), and 4 patios (which were later coined for certain activities that occurred frequently on them). The houses in OBX are all huge and amazing. Our landlord's name was Han and we had to call him a number of times throughout the week (one of which was NOT because of the humping on the pool table). Long story short, we started calling him "Hanzy-boy" and him and I may or may not have had an affair (or at least a good reach around). As I mentioned before, our normal routine consisted of sleeping in, drinking coffee, watching SITC or Top Model, and leaving the house by 2 PM for an activity.
Typical vacation activities included daily trips to the beach, which was often difficult considering we would freeze our balls off. Despite the cold, the wet, the cloudy, we had some beach fun.....and beach fun is not beach fun without: yoga, sand art (which mayyyy be dirty), and humping:
Helga had her large heart set on going shelling on every damn beach in NC, so we took some road trips. We got crabs at Dicks, got honked at by construction workers, rode in a helicopter (the black hawk down moves were great until JB almost puked), and we saw some lighthouses. On these daily adventures, we also answered the age old question: Can white girls jump? Two-parter....can a group of white girls jump? Turns out, Helga is the only one who can really get some air:
One important theme that kept cropping up was those damn AT&T commercials--more bars in more places. Case and point, the middle picture of us jumping and many of the 4-some pictures above. Or maybe it is just because I'm a giant? Guess that is a valid hypothesis as well.
Speaking of lighthouses, we had to do some of the classic LL phallic statue/monument photos. Over the years, I've held it up with my butt, with fingers, and with both a bootie and hands. Now we were able to apply the same principles to a lighthouse:
So after our outings, we typically relaxed around the kick ass beach house. We had a hot tub and a heated pool, which we were in every single day despite the tundra-ish temperatures. At our house we also did some cooking and alot of drinking. Of these attempts were those damn pumpkin/butterscotch cookies. We ate the entire batch in 2 hours, and shared them romantically:
Don't laugh or it will shoot powdered sugar! Don't breath or you'll inhale powdered sugar! Well this picture accurately reminds me of the Lady and the Tramp famous scene. Can you guess which one is the tramp??? Just kidding :)
Of course a girls week away would not be complete without some dance parties and bar stories. Don't worry, we had DJ Bruce to spin our favorite jams, including when I toot it, smoot it, poot it, and then boot it. I'm not posting any more photos from the dance parties because T is sweating balls, JB is with boys in a dark corner, Helga is breaking beer bottles, and some black dude is on the girls.
I was so thankful and grateful to have all my best friends on vacation. These are the people I love, that get me, and that have been there throughout all the good and bad times. It was amazing to have all my loved ones in one single place. TY. Here are the final highlights:
Till next year bitches!!!!
(note: click images for larger view)
Last fall in Texasssss, we started planning the next girls week/end fall trip away and 365+ days later we got some stories.....
As I mentioned previously, the fall vacation week began with a little Marine marathon in DC. Shortly after we got JB iced down and feed, we strapped her and her 75 pound suitcase to the plastic pinto for our drive south to the OBX of NC. This road trip was reminiscent of those drunken college trips through MN in that amazing burnt grass colored plastic beast--still running on fumes! For 7 days, we rented a beach house and had an amazing 4-some of fun and relaxation:
So the drive was pretty eventful and started the week off in typical LL fashion. We stopped for gas outside of Richmond and to buy chocolate milk (what are we 12?). I was pre-occupied with JB not being able to walk that I forgot to take out the gas hose from my car, and we pulled away.....can you guess it?....we heard a pop, a thud? a crunch? OK, we heard a noise which made me stop and apparently give Helga a face of honest surprise (which she claims she has never genuinely seen on my face) as I glanced in my side mirror. That's right, I drove away with the hose in my car, ripping it out of the pump/station. What happened next resulted in these one-liners and amazing after photo:
- To the attendant: "We mayyyy have had a mishap on pump 7"
- An LL reflection: "There is a procedure here, and I missed a very important step"
Once we got to the beach house we basked in the glory of 4 stories, 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms (including the tree house toilet on the 4 1/2 floor), and 4 patios (which were later coined for certain activities that occurred frequently on them). The houses in OBX are all huge and amazing. Our landlord's name was Han and we had to call him a number of times throughout the week (one of which was NOT because of the humping on the pool table). Long story short, we started calling him "Hanzy-boy" and him and I may or may not have had an affair (or at least a good reach around). As I mentioned before, our normal routine consisted of sleeping in, drinking coffee, watching SITC or Top Model, and leaving the house by 2 PM for an activity.
Typical vacation activities included daily trips to the beach, which was often difficult considering we would freeze our balls off. Despite the cold, the wet, the cloudy, we had some beach fun.....and beach fun is not beach fun without: yoga, sand art (which mayyyy be dirty), and humping:
Helga had her large heart set on going shelling on every damn beach in NC, so we took some road trips. We got crabs at Dicks, got honked at by construction workers, rode in a helicopter (the black hawk down moves were great until JB almost puked), and we saw some lighthouses. On these daily adventures, we also answered the age old question: Can white girls jump? Two-parter....can a group of white girls jump? Turns out, Helga is the only one who can really get some air:
One important theme that kept cropping up was those damn AT&T commercials--more bars in more places. Case and point, the middle picture of us jumping and many of the 4-some pictures above. Or maybe it is just because I'm a giant? Guess that is a valid hypothesis as well.
Speaking of lighthouses, we had to do some of the classic LL phallic statue/monument photos. Over the years, I've held it up with my butt, with fingers, and with both a bootie and hands. Now we were able to apply the same principles to a lighthouse:
So after our outings, we typically relaxed around the kick ass beach house. We had a hot tub and a heated pool, which we were in every single day despite the tundra-ish temperatures. At our house we also did some cooking and alot of drinking. Of these attempts were those damn pumpkin/butterscotch cookies. We ate the entire batch in 2 hours, and shared them romantically:
Don't laugh or it will shoot powdered sugar! Don't breath or you'll inhale powdered sugar! Well this picture accurately reminds me of the Lady and the Tramp famous scene. Can you guess which one is the tramp??? Just kidding :)
Of course a girls week away would not be complete without some dance parties and bar stories. Don't worry, we had DJ Bruce to spin our favorite jams, including when I toot it, smoot it, poot it, and then boot it. I'm not posting any more photos from the dance parties because T is sweating balls, JB is with boys in a dark corner, Helga is breaking beer bottles, and some black dude is on the girls.
I was so thankful and grateful to have all my best friends on vacation. These are the people I love, that get me, and that have been there throughout all the good and bad times. It was amazing to have all my loved ones in one single place. TY. Here are the final highlights:
- We made friends with all the locals at all the bars. Luckily we picked the right bars and were able to witness a real bar brawl. Here's what went down: 1) I buy Helga a beer, 2) Some big black dude start pounding on another dude, 3) Helga's bottle goes flying and shatters, 4) Some short dude tries to rescue her and place himself in front, 5) Lights on, party over, where's Jilly Bean?
- During two nights out and two different bars, JB would clear the space, run towards the bouncer, and then jump into his arms straddling him. He, luckily for the rest of us, was smart enough to make sure she cleared the ceiling and door frame before allowing the jumps.
- We had 3 gigantic bowls of fruit on the counter make me insanely happy.
- Learning my ABCs in the heated pool because JB dropped the phone book in the water. I kept pulling out letters and addresses...."I got the P's!!!"
- We also learned about our vowels (oooo, aaaa, eeee) while making JB listen to this amazing hipster music. Reminded Helga and I of when I rent boxy cars and ask "did he just say lasso?"
- Burrs were everywhere! I think the pickers are still in my feet.
- There was so much classic rock and 80's music in my life that week that I am truly set for the rest of the year. We saw a live cover band, but I can't dance to 80's rock unless it is this song. JB, on the other hand, runs around the dance floor with moves I would venture to guess are not considered dancing either.
- Dollar Store runs to replace damaged goods in the beach house....when plastic bowls melt on the stovetop and when beach balls attack wine glasses by the pool!
- I also ate enough sweets to last me a year. I've never had so many cookies, and ice cream, and short cake, and key lime pie, and more cookies in my life.
- Do we need another salt-water-taffy run?
- We were amazing beach bums layered with 4 sweatshirts, which we coined hobo chic.
- JB got her one floor in the beach house to herself for her "male visitors/boyfriends" and because she has some major post-race gas. Agreed, that place needed an elevator!
- JB and I swam in the 40 degree ocean and reenacted some Baywatch scenes with our lifeguard wakeboards.
- We witnessed amazing sunrises and sets.
- OBX ghetto pedis suck my balls....or the sand ruins pedis.
- Beach ball and noodle creative contests in the heated pool....human whirlpool?
- JB has a flashlight that straps around her head, which she would use to find the hot tub in the dark while in a bikini--I'll admit, that thing came in handy more than once!
Till next year bitches!!!!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
the asian version of me
OK this is TOTALLY me. I ran across this picture of a lonely Asian tourist who appears to be having the time of her life all by herself. How does one go about doing vacationing and documenting it by yo self??? Well you have to create this contraption, or in the case of LL have really long arms. I need to get me one of these arm extension things so I can take better pictures then this or this or this or this or this. The LL version of photo taking always makes my head look sooooo big (and white because I'm first to hit the flash).
So yep, the arm extension and I think, maybe, she is wearing foe beer goggle glasses!!! Are we twins??? Look at those bright colors and rolled pants....definitely a possibility. My hats off to you, lonely Asian tourist lady. May we meet in the next life :) and then continue rocking out with our picture taking abilities.
So yep, the arm extension and I think, maybe, she is wearing foe beer goggle glasses!!! Are we twins??? Look at those bright colors and rolled pants....definitely a possibility. My hats off to you, lonely Asian tourist lady. May we meet in the next life :) and then continue rocking out with our picture taking abilities.
Friday, October 15, 2010
observations from NC
Well it's been a different / rough week down here in the great state of NC, baby. I'm not sure I can completely articulate whether it has been good, bad or just so-so. But here are some observations:
- My hotel is a little cheap and mcshady, case and point: 1) the crime scene tape (which was really wet paint tape), 2) the hooker with really high heels in the parking lot, 3) the bitchy front desk person, 4) the guy singing opera/country tunes at 11 PM, 5) the neighbors watching porn until 2 AM. I'm an idiot and should be somewhere else more comfortable.
- Some call VA the south and now I've gone 5 hours more south, and I'm not sure I fit in. I'm tall, albino-ish white, and sassy. I don't like all the sun and have to chase children in it all afternoon, which consequently makes me pass out with exhaustion by 9 PM most nights.
- Perhaps this is due to all the True Blood I've been watching, but I swear I walked into a Saloon (seriously not a bar, but a saloon) and the bar person asked "you knew around here?" I seriously stick out like a sore thumb.
- I need yoga in my life and when I don't get it my body rejects me (it reminds me to breath in and out). I finally made it to a class the other day and it totally changed my outlook on life for at least 4 hours.
- This is no where near a relaxing trip for me, and I have no extra time to sight see or enjoy myself. Other work trips I haven't been in charge of the data collection, so this time I'm seeing all the things we need to do and working on conference calls into the evenings with our team. This weekend will be no different with an 8 hour training on Sunday and calls tomorrow. Sad.
- My coordinator got into a car accident yesterday, totaling her car and adding to the amount of work things I'm going to have to work on this weekend. She is OK, thank god.
- I've been cooking up a storm in my shit suite hotel, including green curry, spaghetti and a salmon naked burrito tonight.
- Not answering your phone for a couple days leads to people texting you "ARE YOU ALIVE?" in caps....which isn't easy to text :)
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