it's been one of those weeks

You know how you have those types of weeks...the ones that make you drink....the ones that exhaust you...the ones that make you want to run into on-coming traffic. Well I had an exhausting one, and I will be the first to admit that it pales in comparison to Helga and McBetty's everylives. Let me explain...

Case and point #1: Learning how to walk again and drive with my left footsies

I have been prone to ankle sprains for over a decade and this last spring was no surprise when a spikey pine cone of death look all 6 feet of me out. I was on the ground before I even knew what had happened. Then during a later spring hike I tweaked it again. Since then apparently I have been walking funny or at least in a way that has irritated my old stress fracture from 2002. Same foot, same bone-like-area. Now I can't put pressure on my front of my foot without pain and there is no way I can push up or stand on my toes.

Is this why I stopped doing yoga? Yeah that could be a subconscious reason. And now I don't get to work out for a month. That makes me happy.

Here's my new accessory for the month of October:



God, isn't that sexy? And those pasty white legs...grrr! I've been workin on some good stories to go along with it. Bar fight? Sword fight injury? Got any other ones I can use???

The exhausting part was I walk uneven now, which means you either don't move or you are pretty sore by the end of the day. Damn muscles you don't typically use. And crawling out of the plastic pinto, all 2 inches from the ground, really blows. Plus I have to wear a tennis shoe instead of my beloved flippy flops.

Case and point #2: Butt plugs for your eyes

This week I had my annual eye doctor appointment, and I really hate people touching my eyes. Due to side effects of my lupie drugs, I have eye complications and they have to absolutely rape me with every test in the book. I only do afternoon appointments so I can go home and start drinking afterwards :) Better yet, why wait till afterwards?

The last two years I had eye plugs put in, which I call my eye butt plugs. This blocks the duct from my eye to nose and thus keep moisture in my eye balls. They completely numb your eyes (like your teeth at the dentist) and then shove butt plugs in your eyes (it's fun). Turns out the plugs are expensive and don't stay in for me, so this week they announced that I should have them soldered shut. HOLY BALLS!!! You want to sew my eye ball ducts? That beyond freaks me out.

Yeah I may need a week to process that business before making a decision, I mean I just got put in a moon boot, OK? How much can one girl take in a week relating to health problems? Well apparently all could be butt plug free though.

Tomorrow's a new week, one which I'll still be adjusting to my new life as a cripple.