potato chips save the day

Violence is never the answer but shit happens. Crazy people go nuts all the time. But somehow this always happens on public transportation. I mean check this video with two people drop kicking the shit out of each other:



Unlike your average run-of-the-mill internet subway fight video, this one gets broken up in the most nonchalant way possible: By a dude choosing to stand between the combatants and eat potato chips. If all it takes to break up a fight is to stand there and eat chips, then who knows, someday even I might be a hero!

I vote we rename this video to "Man Breaks Up Subway Fight By Fearlessly Eating Potato Chips". Done and doneski.

Sonic has the most patient employees

I have never worked in the fast food industry. I wouldn't have minded before this whole career path thing I got going on. It would have been one of those experiences that shape you, you know in never wanting to eat fried food again because you can still smell it in your clothes (this is my worry about being a barista and not liking coffee again).

Well anyways, you gotta give it up to those employees for having to deal with all us bitchy people who just want cheap, quick food. I mean take this Sonic employee who is losing minutes of her life while this songwriter sings his order. I'd like like "DICK, what do you want?" and I'm gonna spit in your food:



Remember when "coning" became the new planking in those viral social trends. Well the fast food employees had to keep making new ice cream cones for all those asshats jholes too!!! Damn people, give these folks a break...Here is an example of coning:



Those poor, patient employees....

stop eating butter, norway needs it

I'm not sure if you are aware or not, but Norway is currently in a butter crisis. No for real, you j-hole of a fat American, this is a serious problem. Norwegian children are getting stuck between things and not being about to use butter as a greaser. Norwegian turkeys are lacking the butterball brown glow. The Norwegian Lutheran white rolls are going un-extreme-buttered. Cri-sis.

I was recently in Norway, and I didn't notice any butter shortages or butter fueled protests. I did notice the plethora of meat products including sardines and foamy meat. Perhaps I was focusing on the wrong thing...

Well anyways, all the American comedians have been making light of these crisis and one transgendered Norwegian has had enough of it! He is putting on some make-up, a fierce lip gloss, and setting up his webcam for a good youtube protest:



PREACH ON Tommy, preach on!!! This video is very reminiscent of the "leave britney alone" video which went viral during Britney's (bitch) meltdown period. At least Tommy wasn't under a sheet, but instead was working a fabulous asymmetrical haircut out in the open.

Well what is the message here, stop picking on butter....right?

another alternative for the plastic pinto

We've had this conversation before. I really don't like those family doodle stickers on the back of minivans. They piss me off. I will never have one of those and if I ever change you have my permission to push me into on-coming traffic.

Couple months ago I came across a sticker I would consider using. It was about some hot copper colored Honda owner and your mom. Brilliant. Good play on words and sticker usage.

Recently I ran across another good option, albeit slightly more violent. I don't particularly like violence but you have to see the humor in:

No, still don't see it? Well this driver's bumper probably also has a sticker that says my child beat up your honor student. I just wonder what type of car it is...

secondary smrt protesters

I respect protesters. They have a cause and they are not afraid to yell it, to sign it, and to stand around promoting it. Despite they're obvious commitment, I mayyyy have a little more comedic respect for those secondary protesters. These are the people who stand next to the initial protester to blatantly mock their cause.

Case and point #1:

What doesn't kill you only makes your wrists stronger.

Case and point #2:

And on the gay note, here is one more added bonus for alittle extra giggle:



And a big round of applause. Nice work you creative secondary protesters. Way to hang around and adapt a secondary cause off of someone else's protesting efforts. I imagine this happens without the protester even knowing what is happening. They are just standing there being all opinionated not knowing others are actually making fun of them.

I like it.

a riot update

I ranted alittle recently about the riots in London...and to recover from the uncharacteristically serious post I have some updates on the action in my beloved city.

First, I found video of a more thoughtful subtle approach to sticking it to the man:



Take that establishment!!! Put your garbage somewhere else, you bitch. This guy is the most laid back rioter, much more up my alley. Not sure what you can loot in this situation though...probably have to steal the other trash can!

Second, I hear that some Londoners are kind of pissed that the po-po can't get there act together. And we know they can do it. Case and point, that billion person attended Royal Wedding. Well this is pretty accurate:

there will be nothing left of london

Unless you have been living in a hole, you probably know that there has been some crazy business going on in London recently. The rioters and looters have taken over parts of the city, and apparently not for any consistent reason. Protesting without a common message basically becomes breaking and entering and stealing. I mean look at the 70s, they had a common theme "Peace, love, and weed".

I love me some London and it saddens me deeply that the authorities cannot get ahold of the situation. Some of the pictures are truly scary. Please stop and take stock of what you are doing and why.

I grew up in a community which had some major riot issues, mostly fueled by dumbassery and booze. I've been in situations where the police provided escorts for school buses, and fathers stood in the bus doors to protect teenagers. And when I was in college we experienced roits again, where I would tackle my guy friends who thought it was a good idea to go watch. Nope, sorry, watching is participating and will only cause more problems.

You are making a choice. You can take the Martin-Luther-King route and rise above your basic urges. You do not have to governed by emotions. Emotion regulation is not just something important for preschool, but also adults (especially in situations where asshats are running lose in the general population).

I do believe in protests but they have be to organized and purposeful, otherwise you are simply ruining your community in the physical structure (burning building costs money), in taxes (which are going straight to the authorities who are trying to stop you), and in the air of fear (perceptions of safety is key). Riots do nothing for community building. Business suffer too, case and point this London restaurant:



This wry apology left in the window of a British Subway is bad news for anyone who likes to enjoy a meatball sub while watching a double-decker bus burst in a terrifying inferno. It seems would-be patrons of this establishment have a better chance of finding a toasted building here than a toasted foot-long. While I certainly enjoy the display of that famous dark British "humour" whoever wrote this missed a prime opportunity to direct looters toward the nearest Quizno's.

Also on the lighter side, is anyone concerned what global image these riots are leaving on all nations participating in the upcoming Olympics??? Who wants to visit a city that cannot control their citizens, where no one feels safe. Perhaps this should be the new Olympics logo:

Damn thieves!!! Some roided up athlete is going to catch you for stealing the rings...