HP still looks amazing

OMG, I'm sooo freakin excited for the last HP book. Check out this preview which has expanded from the first one out:



This too give me human bumps and I can call each scene in this.....Looks great!!!

I found something else to do in Alaska

Well I'm off to Alaska tonight/tomorrow AM and have been thinking for weeks/months about what to do whilst in the great north. This morning I read an article and bought a great new idea. Turns out the great city of Wasilla, home of Ms. Palin, has started producing it's own flavor of VODKA!!! OMG!!!! Now that sounds like it is right up my alley....

The Alaska Distillery in Wasilla just launched their latest vodka flavor, and can you guess it.....chocolate??? fruit-ish??? NOPE!!!!

Drum roll please.....SMOKED SALMON!!!!

Now that is a brilliant idea. I'm on board. I'm buying a case. I'm going to drink a bottle while there and bring as much of it back as possible. Smoked Salmon shots for everyone!!! Just think of the vodka cream sauces I could make with my baked salmon dishes. This is going to be amazing.

Yes please. This vacay just got exponentially better!

I love old people, dancing

I love me some old people, especially when they are dancing. I've send this numerous time and posted a number of videos that just make me soooo happy. This one is great, because this old dude with his popped collar is busting out some major moves to The lady whilst some young douches are trying to imitate him. Nice try dude, you just can't match this guy:



That man is going to give himself a heart attack!!! Go, go, GO!!!

soccer backlash

So Team USA sucked it up on Saturday and lost, shattering the hopes of all Americans.....damn just when we were hoping people would get on board with soccer, they have to go lose and now we are dealing with these headlines:

I mean I agree....if we can't win it all, who the hell cares. Sounds like that winner American attitude!!! Winner, winner, chicken dinner or we don't give two shits.

mustache rides, yes please.

Well I've officially served warning that I'm hosting a mustache party next month. That's right friends, start getting creative because there is going to be lots of stashe play going on:

Mustaches For Democrats! - watch more funny videos

Perhaps this will happen:



Or someone will pull the new Hitler with soul patch, which MJ has been sporting:

OR you can try this widget to stache some of your own photos!!! Get excited folks. It's mustache time.

quotes of the weekend

Well this weekend was full of friends and family, beer and pizza, sweating my balls off and drinking gallons of water. I heard lots of words to live by:

• Towards Clemson fans (or insert the team you hate) "Your degree isn't worth my asshole"....crap who knew you could place value on your pooper!
• In response to nagging wives, "live your life like it's the last nacho chip" Translation=eat all the good nacho chips on the top and don't worry about the ones on the bottom without cheese or toppings because you could die halfway through your plate without eating all the goodness first.
  
• As seen on the sign at the Eclipse premier: "Rob, I'll help you pitch your tent!" tehehhe, made me giggle.
  

Words to live by. My friends. Amazing.

quote of the day

I was talking to my beloved Helga today and I heard my quote of the day:

H: "I was stalking bums and Russian seaman yesterday"

Me: "1) How do you know their are Russian, and b) How do you know they are seaman? PS, we both just say seaman twice."

H: "Well there dresser sucks because they have pleaded black pants, tucked in navy blue shirts, blue and white hats with the bills pointing up, and an orange ribbon around hat that goes down their backs."

Me: "Well that doesn't sound like the Russian Prez. I remember flying fishing. Remember how damn scary he was with the knife, and shirtless Russian vodka business. Yikes!"

H: "Can we go back to talking about bums and seaman?"

quote of the day

"Walk tall. All you can do is be brave enough to get out there. You fought, you loved, you lost. Walk tall."

Words to live by. Words to live by professionally, personally, and interpersonally.

everyone can vote

something in happening in my world this week

Something odd is happening in the world of LL this week. I'm not sure I can put my finger on it yet but here are some of the weird things occurring:

• Thursday night a 10 minute tornado/tsunami/wind storm hit Cville which brought down trees and reaped havoc all across the city. I almost was blown off my feet whilst running to my car, which is not an easy thing to do since I'm a giant.
  
• Why are VA-ians such bad drivers??? Do you people not know to make all stop lights 4-way stops when the power is out??? Seriously. You all are dangerous drivers too when you yield on the acceleration ramps and don't let others in.
• Hank-abeth has lime disease. Ticks. Gross. Poor guy.
• The other night I got to T/D/C2's house, popped a bottle, poured a pint, took a sip, and realized that wasn't wheat/wit beer....it was wine. Great, now I have a pint of white wine. Alcoholic.
  
• After the conference, I got into my office on TH morning to what felt like a sauna. Turns out the AC broke, tripped the heater, and all day it was about 90 degrees. Seriously, it was hotter than balls in that office.
  
• On Wednesday I got an call that there was an earth quake in MI....but apparently most people couldn't feel it since it centered in Cananananada. I could fart and probably create more movement than the state of MI probably felt. Why is it during earth quakes that everyone blames the fat guy?
• No power in cvile = no work on Friday! Yes, please.
• I was surrounded by too many nice of people at my DC B&B, who I secretly wanted to punch in the face for their smiles and nice questions and "friendly" stares. I'm turning into an antisocial American.
  

some bacon I might enjoy

I bet these new meat products are all natural, organic, and will be a hit right here in the big Cville:

WOW!!! It is like the homo-gay version of meat products. All colors of the rainbow represented right here in my BLT or on my breakfast plate. Yum! Because you know I'm normally a huge fan of bacon (which stinks up my home and sticks to my clothes), and now I can add a little food coloring (not like I want to have children anyways) to make it even more irresistible. I wonder if little children would like to eat this business....who are we targeting with this product?

So here is what I don't get, this product was made by a "designer" like it is a fashion statement and not something scientists should be working on. Really? The producers say it is "unique and fun" which translated means "looks pretty but you may die eating it."

Serve me up some! I like gay meat.

music of the moment

Well I have no idea who the Carolina Chocolate Drops are, but I seriously love this remixed song. I liked the song when it was done by Blu C. circa 2001, and now we put a little bluegrass into it:



Yes, please. More of this group.

a twi-update

Well we are now less than 7 days away from the official premiere of the 3rd installment of the twilight movie franchise (PS, 4th book will now officially be 2 movies just so we can drag this shit out for years and years to come). And the madness has officially begun with people taking days and days off of work in order to camp out for tickets. We are entered the world-craziness-status that HP has. People in LA have been camping out for the premiere for days now and have officially coined the name, Eclipse Tent City:

Can we just take a moment to put this all in perspective??? Really, using your sick days to urban camp for weeks on end?? I mean I know you brought your life size Edward cardboard cutouts, and your Jacob stuffed pillows to comfort you, but still. I won't be happy if this twi-craziness makes our economy go down the toilet. I know your buying movie tickets, but you crazy ladies still have to work your jobs too.

I spoke with my Bridawg today and officially served warning that we may have to see this movie over Memorial day weekend whilst I'm shooting a moose in Alaska. She was down and will buy us some vodka as well. That 'a girl, now we're talking!

And for those asking which team I'm on....I'm "whatever team I can get"....I don't like to limit myself!

stoned guitarists making woman's clothes

Nope. I'm not on board. I'm rarely on board with a variety of random "celebrities" trying to make clothing, clothing lines, or other clothing accessories. These types of business adventures typically end in such tragedies as this or this or this.

Now I hear that Richie Sambora, best known as Bon Jovi's guitarist and for sleeping around with Heather Locklear and Denise Richards (making their lives complicated), is launching a woman's clothing line called, "White Trash Beautiful" OMG FML WTF, and all the other acronyms you can think of.....and to make matters worse, apparently Vogue (my mecca, that I don't treat myself to anymore--I don't want to talk about it) is doing a feature article. I may have just thrown up in my mouth.

First, can we take a moment to consider that this line has White Trash in the title. I'm not sure I need to say much more than that. I just wanted to make sure you caught that...

Second, here is one of the articles of "clothing" for sale which has come straight from the strung out, stoned mind of Richie:

Yep, your eyes do no deceive you....that is a zippered crotch leotard. I've always needed a quicker way to pee when I wear leotards. With this lacy version, I can just give my crotch a quick zip, which consequently allows for easy access to the goodies with other reasons as well. I bet I could make these with a couple supplies from Wallie-World and sell them for alot less.....

disney puns taking over espn

What the hell is happening in the sports world today? Did Disney take over ESPN? Did ESPN sell their soul to mickey mouse and start making horrid puny jokes???

Case and point, these two headlines:

Hello, rip off Toy Story much??? Or clever advertisement for Toy Story 3??? That needs some Buzzlight Year direct quotations. I thought maybe it is just a coincidence....until I saw this:

What? Quoting a Miley Cyrus song???? I knew it. Just another Disney protege taking over the world....

Damn you Disney and ESPN for sneaky in your clever puns....I'm on to you!

making tennis history

Well today was an epic sports days, first team USA made it to the World Cup and second we also witnessed the longest tennis match in history (which was postponed after 10 hours due to darkness). I absolutely loved watching this game and could have sat there for hours and hours and hours. You take two young, hot, strapping young men and have them beat balls at each other until it is too dark....HOT!!! I would have liked them to keep playing but to have switched to glow-in-the-dark balls (I got a couple you could borrow) until it was last man standing. Just think of the fun drinking games we could have quickly thought of....shot each time someone says Ace or Deuce.

You would think everyone would be watching Center Court matches at Wimbledon in London, England, but NOPE all eyes were on the longest match in history with two random players, one from the US and the other from France. This brought fond memories of my trip to Wimbledon and I seriously wanted to pour myself a Pimm's Cup and snack on some strawberries n' cream, both Wimbledon traditions.

OK but back to the subject at hand. I had an errant thought cross my mind whilst watching this epic match, did they get to go to the bathroom? What if you had to take a dump? I mean they had to have been able to eat a power bar or drink some water, right??? With my luck, I would have gotten explosive number twos around hour 3.

The moon was in the sky when they suspended the game even through the crowd was chanting "keeping playing!" So tomorrow we will start again, and here's hoping the media doesn't pound those two players because they probably need some protein and a hot bath, stat. More of this fun historical sport action, yes please.

I already have this bra

Well the lady has done it again....yep, as I said to some friends today, she is current day's Madonna circa 1980's, pushing boundaries and doing things that are for a shear shock value (case and point, when she showed up at a Yankee game in a lacy bra and pair'o panties and gave everyone the bird).

Lady Gaga graces the cover of Rolling Stones mag, out this friday, wearing a new uniform for the army. Well shit, no wonder we are having trouble abroad if this is what we are using for camouflage!!! I mean, it is pretty deadly on top, but just not the right amount of coverage on the bottom :)

I totally was going to wear this bra to work tomorrow:



And just as a sidebar, this might be what the army is afraid of if they let the gays in....boundary and guns....

is england's football coach the kranky guy from Up?

Sooo I was watching some fussball later, considering it is the World Cup. GO USA!!! BTW, way to go team USA today, getting a goal to clutch the win with 3 minutes left in the game. This is the farthest the US soccer team has ever gone. Pretty damn cool.

But I digress, because I realized this afternoon that I've been spotting look alikes alot lately. It all started with the BP (you all know what I think of when someone mentions BP right??? Same thing I think of when I talk about my eye plugs) CEO, and now the England fussball coach. Seriously, he mayyyy have been the guy they based the Up! kranky grandpa off of....the likeness is uncanny:

The Up! movie kranky-pants dude:



The English fussball coach (who also doesn't like children):

my first symposium

Well I'm up in DC this week (what week these days am I NOT up in DC??? that is the question) for the Head Start research conference. All my ladies caravaned up with me in the plastic pinto, we arrived, settled in to my amazing B&B, and started conferencing it up today. To my horror, I got an email from my discussant on Saturday that he fall off a wall (what is he, humpy dumpy?) and couldn't travel. Great. So that means I'm the chair, a presenter, and now an impromptu discussant. Oh crap.

But I built a quick bridge, put on my "I know what I'm talking about, I'm s-m-r-t, I can do this" face, and continued. This AM I got up, avoided the happy-go-lucky B&B owners who want all the residents to be friends, and suited up to dazzle all those preschool teachers. The presentation went well and apparently everyone from UVA was scheduled to present at 10 this morning.

We had over 100 people in our syposium, ran out of handouts, and had about 4 pages of extra email addresses to follow-up with. I talked for 30 minutes, my colleague had 3o minutes and we had a wonderful discussion where I could actually answer the questions. It was pretty damn exciting. I had people stop me throughout the day to say "you are a really good speaker" or ask more about the presentation or colleagues saying they heard our symposium was good from other people.

Well how about that??? Apparently I'm turning into an early childhood researcher....all that hard work actually working out. Who know?

I'm still coming down from the presentation, but I think it went well.....

god does like you leaving early

Soooo I ran across this nicely engraved wood sign which apparently was present at a church right here in the great big V-A. I could guess right away what type of church this was in. Doubtful you would see this in a Lutheran church...we tend to understand that sometimes the Viks are more important on a Sunday :) Yep, it was definitely catholic, and definitely a little pushy on attendance:

Passive aggressive much?

I wish I could met this guy

I really like people who are just themselves, who like to dance, who will just bust a move in the middle of some inappropriate place when they get a feeling. This happens to me but I only have these types of dance parties in the privacy of my office or my own home:



I really, REALLY like this guy. Apparently he, and his velvet vest wearing self, is riding around the DC metro, doing a little dancey mcdance. I am going to have to continue riding the metro just looking for this guy, so I can get up there with him and dance, dance, dance with NO PANTS!!!

What type of music do you think he is listening? I mean what song could it be??? Is it pop? Techno? alternative??? I just don't know.

And what time of day it is??? Late at night? Surely isn't rush hour.

This man is seriously the happiest person on earth. He just made my night.

$tar trek does ke$ha

This one is for Gail and Ash:

hats off to poppa B

Well today is daddy r-e-s-p-e-c-t day...and I giving poppa b some love and a major shout out. I still think the world needs a "daughter day" but for now I'll just be satisfied that you're my poppa and that you didn't kill me when I was a little shit as a child. Thanks!!! I truly appreciate that.




God, I was onnnnneeee sexy child. Those glasses are amazing and of course I'm missing my front teeth because I'm pretty sure I would always knock those out as soon as they grew in :)

this business only happens in SC

I love my SC friends, truly I do....and I REALLY love my "go cocks" sweatshirt, but this business is great (democrazy at it's best):

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Alvin Greene Wins South Carolina Primary
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Yep, this would only happen in MI or SC....seriously.

PS, I do love dirrrty madlibs.

moodles, want the job?

Well I received learned a new word, and I wasn't too happy (again) that I didn't know it already. A Moodle, which apparently is a guy who is really close with his girl who are friends but is technically straight. He hangs out with women like a men poodle. Ha-larry-ass. Seriously. That is great.

"a cross between a man and a poodle.. makes a great pet..you can walk him, train him and feed him but you'll never sleep with him..only good for companionship"

I'm not sure I have a moodle. Anyone I would say might be close to a moodle would probably just fit the gay description. I tend to keep my men manly and save my close girl friends for talking about emotions and talking around with.

Anyone want the job????? I need to create an application process....

HP madness

Holy crap and a half. The new HP theme park opened up this weekend and it was absolute HP madness. Will you look at them lining up to get in:


Check out the opening day here!

the smurfs

Those little blue monsters are coming to the big screen...here's your first look:

Well THAT sucked....crap we got nothing in that clip....

quote of the day

This is sooo perfect to describe how I feel about people at weddings:

"I kind of wanted to rip her hair out, really I had a vision of me kicking her ass. Instead I just drank more and got sick."

Don't worry A, I will be on my best behavior....but people do get a little nuttie during weddings!

an open letter to Tom B

Dear Tom Brady,

Why? Why did you change your sexy head to this:

I understand what is going on here. You are trying to go for the Bieb look right??? Or are you trying to look more like a lesbian??? Either way, I'm NOT on board, OK....it just doesn't work for the toned football body of yours. And really, are you also low-lighting??? And the long comb over is gross. No.

Remember when you were this foxy, and this sezy, and this streamy? Let's go back to that please. I've over the Bieb style.

Love,
LL

is the BP chief michael sheen?

Uncanny similarities or is Michael Sheen standing in as the Chief of BP???? The CEO sort of has a little Michael Sheen and Mr. Bean too!

I'm just saying:

BP Chief:

Actor Michael Sheen: