hey girl, I don't give a shit

Well I had a hellish, yet fun week. I was to work by 7 AM everyday and drunk by 8 PM most nights. Apparently I've been working and playing pretty hard lately. This week, I spent some quality time with my girls where we constantly quoted 3 things which will make you laugh and stick in your head:

Number 1:

That stupid LMFAO song. All they're songs are stupid but soooo damn catchy (including the rock anthem). Now this one is my ringer that says "wiggle, wiggle, wiggle...I work out". Yesterday we were tailgating at the UVA game and it went off, and everyone was like what the hell is that. Wiggle, wiggle:



I work out. No fo real, I do. Yeah and I'm sexy and I know it.

Number 2:

I've been watching those wild animal shows lately. Not through cable television or with any factual base, but through one of my new favorite gay guys. Yep his name is Randell and he is an internets viral sensation. For example, check out this informational video about Honey Badgers:



So what is in my head, "Honey badgers, they don't give a shit". Nastyass honey badgers. What a badass, they just don't care. (I'm going to keep replying to you using these lovely new Honey Badger inspired saying).

Wow, I really like Randell. If you haven't already, you should totally subscribe to his YouTube channel and see what else he narrates (to classical music). For example, check out the Jesus Lizard.

Number 3:

While hanging out, B kept saying "hey girl" and I was like, that's from another viral video. Turns out we could quote the whole damn thing. Posted this a couple months ago after my gay husband was here for a visit, because it reminded me of his fierceness:



LOVES this. Could watch it, quote it, and love on it all damn day. All this week, Nik and I would laugh to this before going to bed:

• HEY GIRL! Hey girl.
  
• Nice try hoe
• But special, remember I'm special
• Rude...
• I can hear you bitches
• That's how you do it, bitch
• It's like pretty n' pink but the dress looked good

Now let's pull my fun week together into one phrase: "Hey girl, I work out, I don't give a shit"

the gayest laugh

Last month that sexy silver fox, Anderson, totally lost it in a fit of giggles on his show. When my gay husband was in town this month I showed him the video and we agreed that anyone that hears this giggle cannot deny that he is gay. I love that Anderson, who is an epic journalist, loses all integrable sense when talking about an actor who tried to pee in a bottle on an airplane.

And this for sure is a giggle, not a laugh or chuckle. I don't laugh like this. It surely isn't from that classic scene in Mary Poppin....Anderson is really trying to control his giggle fit. And at about 2:00, he proves he definitely is gay:



If I worked in radio I would isolate that giggle and play it over and over and over as the best sound bite ever.

It's a new gay, hip MN

Well Minneapolis is one of my favorite, all time, cities in the world. And although it has been awhile since I lived there, I started noticing these new trends back in the early 2000's. Recent news highlights two new trends, increases in:

1. Hipsters
2. Gays

Apparently, MN has taken the lead in hipsters (and for the record I've had to explain what this term means to more people than I'm comfortable with--pop culture people, keep up), overcoming all time leader of greater NYC. Brooklyn and the Bronx has been known for their dark rimmed glasses, tight jeans, alternative music, independent thinking and general vegetarian. Well good work MN is taking the top spot. Who know you were so progressive (although I do remember saying to Helga a time or two "fucking hipsters!" when we would be out as concerts).

I think they make a good case for MN, with our stupid flannel shirts (I really REALLY hate flannel shirts--just kill me now), farmer's markets, a-mazing music scene, and self-propelled tendencies (no need to tie up your pant leg from your bike chain, you're already wearing tight pants). And not surprisingly, Portland is definitely a close third. And for that matter, Cville might also be right up there in our hipster tendencies as well. Actually, we are alittle more east coast douchey than hipstery.

OK so we know MN is hip, but apparently they are also now gayer than CA! And let me tell you, that isn't an easy thing to do with all the donkeys and in general the big bright rainbow over San Fran:

The Daily Show - Minneapolis Is the New Gay
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

So I've known MN was gay, and definitely getting gayer. My gay husband lives in MN and I love him very much. 8 years ago I was his beard and would go to more gay bars than straight ones! We had a great time dancing for hours, hot tubing, and singing show tunes. Good times. Gay, yes we all knew that in MN.

happenings around LL

Soooo here is a composite LL report for all you avid LLspot readers who have been mcnagging me:

• I have driven over 2000 miles in the last 30 some days living the dream, straight out of suitcases. I've been all over VA, NC, MD, and DC between work, the beach vacation, the wedding, and LFA. I have been working out the plastic pinto, getting her on the open road, stretching out her legs, and I almost (almost) took an extreme right when seeing this sign.
• I have been a slight coffee/caffeine'o holic lately. This AM I had an early morning slice-of-fatty-hyperloaded-energy-juice with the big G, and I swear this was my cup'o coffee. I thought "wowsa, I should come here more often." Only kidding, I'm totally focusing on work lately (insert sass).
  
• Apparently Quidditich (the JK-HP-magician sporting game) might become an NCAA sport. I love me some HP but how is the whole broom flying thing going to work??? This is going to lead to alot of pictures of boys standing around on a field with wooden brooms between their legs. You heard it hear first.
  
• Mr. and Mrs. Bling Bling (formerly A & M or M & A, depending on your allegiance) is to blame for this god damn song being stuck in my head the last week. Totally your fault.
• My life has been ruled by classic / 80s rock lately (seen 2 live 80's rock bands in the last 2 weeks which is more than I have my entire life), and I think I mayyyy have to start playing more Christmas music this weekend. Everyone stay away from me the next two weeks, I'm going into hibernation mode.
• My gay husbands and I had a string of emails recently about this amazing product which could keep all those midwestern men warm. Check out the tagline....now that is some rhythmic telemarketing brilliance.
• Also along the midwestern and slightly inappropriate line, my sammy sam sent me a link about a new modeling craze. Fortunately, I will not be participating in this event anywhere in near future (see how I'm leaving a slight "out" just in case when I'm 40+ and knocked up, it mayyy be a possibility).
  

two-wheeled machines of death

Well it's official, Segways really are two-wheel death machines. I declared this last spring when my gay husbands and I were speeding around DC. Note to self, don't wear sweaty flip flops on machines which are controlled by your toes!! Now we have more evidence....it was announced today that the owner of the Segway Company died in a freak accident. How, you ask? Guess....just guess...here is a mathematical hint from my one of my favorite bloggers:



Yes, the man drove his segway off a cliff in his England Estate. Seriously? Maybe that man needed to read his own owner's manual. Wowsa. That sucks and probably did nothing for your company's trading today. In honor of the Segway owner, I think we should all review 20 people/situations where Segways should NOT be used. My favorite "to NOT do" looks to be somewhere in the frozen tundra, and something I would do only when with B or Ev after doing some shots:



(insert mohhahahaha evil laugh)

another classic weekend

Well I'm about two weeks and a dollar behind with getting some amazing pictures posted from when my good friend Nicole came to visit me in the big Cville earlier this month. In preparation for her visit, I went back through many of our classic pictures, including some of her straddling gay strippers and others with our good friend Keith (my gay husband). But I'm happy to report that those 3 days added about 200 more pictures of memories....

I've been so blessed this year to be able to travel to see my friends but also have alot of friends come to visit me here in VA (here and here and here and here and here). We've seen the countryside and witnessed alot of amazing beautifulness in the big VA. Case and point, whilst hitting up alot of random wineries, Nicole and I decided to stop the plastic pinto in the middle of the road and run around enjoying this sight:



For the record, Nicole climbed this tree while I watched for cars ("game on"). The entire day/night included eating sushi, crab cakes, touring grounds, listening to live music, and droving throughout central VA following signs of grapes (which we equated to flowing booze). The best part for Nicole was merrily skipping through the streets after shopping and ordering some vegetarian dish which she might have reached a big O over :)

Like most of my classic weekends, we ended up on railroad tracks. All my fun somehow involves railroad tracks and me having some sort of party on them, whether that is in Cville or TX!!! This time we had to illegally park the plastic pinto, jump a fence, and quickly avoid some scary homeless people while making sure we didn't pee our pants. Here is Nic and I with the setting sun:



Nic and I were wine connoisseurs or consumers, which ever, throughout the big VA. We came, we saw, we tasted and we made friends. We even toured DMB's winery and each bought a bottle that was aged in "MN Oak Barrels"....how awesome is that? Well anyways, this was us for an entire three days:



Throughout the weekend we also experienced a little TJ architecture, went to a Zumba dancing workout class (where I got to yell out and shake what my momma gave me), treated ourselves a little medi/pedi (minus the botox), shopped at the farmer's market, and sat up on the rooftop patio pool. We also made a quick trip to Richmond where we ran into one of my friends at this famous restaurant. We were so hung over that I don't even think I could taste my lunch, but that was all part of the fun (signed book copies for everyone!). See if you can place the following pictures.....grounds, richmond elevator of fun, and rooftop patio bathing (aka LL avoiding the big ball of death in the sky):



As we all know, moustaches were running rampant that weekend. We had an amazing party with all my friends that included amuse bouches, moustaches, lounges, candles and a bar. Despite what people might say, I'm not young and impressionable.....and that whole 3 AM swimming adventure, post moustache rides, was totally my idea. Needless to say both Nic and I jumped a 10 foot fence to silently wade in the water, trying not to get caught by the po-po:



Good times, good times. If I wasn't so stressed/exhausted lately, I could remember the amazing one-liners and funnies that happened throughout the vacation weekend. Unfortunately, neither Nicole nor I could remember shit later.....oh well, it was still amazing.

more friend visits

Well this has been the year of visiting LL in the great commonwealth of VA. I had my gay husbands, Jilly Bean, Brianne, oh my! So now my friend from MN, Nicole, is coming this weekend. I've known Nicole for about 7 years when we worked together in Minnie. I remember the first time we really hung out was when I hosted my first shakey toy party. She had just started dating someone who was like, "you're going where?"

I'm looking forward to having her visit. We plan to treat ourselves to a little mani/pedi and then hit up some wineries. Of course we have the a-mazing moustache party on Saturday with all my friends. So here's hoping Nicole and I can be the hostesses with the mostesses, and keep the booze a-flowing.

So here is a good picture of Nicole and I on the "Bootie Cruise" which was this amazing event where we went up and down a river on a boat filled with 10 male strippers and about 350 women! Now that is a good time.




Good thing I didn't post any embarrassing pictures from the Bootie Cruise, oohhhhh wait here is a good one of Nicole riding the gay stripper:

burning the roof

For months now I've been singing the new La Roux song wrong. I knew this, but I prefer the way I sing the lyrics. Every time it comes on the radio I raise my hands in the air and yell "BURNING THE ROOF" as a play off of raise the roof. This happened for an entire 3 days of fun in DC a couple weeks ago, and Brianne kind of wanted to kill me...

I mean the song just sounds better if you say "This time, bbbbaby, I'll be burning the roof" when in reality it is supposed to be "this time baby, I'll be bulletproof." I'd rather raise the roof and then light it on fire. So today I looked up the lyrics and found this:

La Roux - Bullet Proof from serkan söğüt on Vimeo.

And thought to myself....wow that video is like a Jamiroquai video circa the 80's with a European techno / gender-confused Ron Wesley feel to it. No? No? Anyone else get that feeling. I'm just saying. OK OK, the cheese stands alone....If I still went to gay techno clubs regularly they would definitely be playing this song! Next time I'm in Minney? OK, it's a date.

BO is a magnet to me and my friends

So two months ago I had my first big BO sighting, which was during a weekend of amazing fun with my gay husbands. I told everyone that I got in a good reach around, and loved the drive by. Turns out that BO is a magnet for me and my friends, as Helga had a sighting in San Fran yesterday.

We were talking last night while she was riding on the cable cars and buses and subway and anything that moved home because the entire city was shut down, as if there was a big drunken marathon happening. I was getting a blow by blow detail of what type of po po were around, who had guns, and what was being yelled. I keeping notes in case someone ended up getting arrested when Helga was chancing after dudes with shades and clear ear pieces (this is why we are best friends, I typically chase people down too when I really want to talk to them, case and point, naked man on grounds). I want to be sitting in the jail cell next to you! I'm happy that you got a good sighting in, a wave, and a smile....perhaps an imaginary reach around too?