tis the season

Well one of the holidays which the drunken side of America loves is fast approaching. That's right, grown adults have a reason to act stupid on Halloween and St. Patty's day. My fun started a couple weeks ago when I found this pumpkin ass card. Then we has a moment with the cutest Batman and Big Bill. Finally today I found out that the creativeness of pumpkin craving has now reached epic proportions in creating uses for all elements of the naturally grown pumpkin. Case and point:

Let's break it down:

• Wow, way to use the bottom of the pumpkin in new creative ways. I'll never look at a pumpkin in the same way...now I only see a butthole.
  
• I keep thinking about this song where "I need a place for both hands, handz, handzzz." Which then makes me think about OBX. Which then makes me think about pooting and tooting and booting it.
  
• That's what she said: "I'm just doing it until I earn enough money to move outta the pumpkin patch"
• My only job as a father pumpkin is to keep her off the pole and out of clear high heels (insert Chris Rock fav joke of all time).
  
• $1 bills, what cheap bastards. Let's get some $5 up in here to make me holla.
• Shear thongs are the best.
• That isn't a pumpkin, that is someone with an orange tan from Jersey Shore. Nailed it.