final alaskan update

Well I made back to the big VA this afternoon! I had to run my ass through the Houston airport at like 6 AM to make my connection, whilst thinking "god damnit I'm a Lupie and can't take this shit, I need some fruit and a bloody mary." Then I taxied it throughout DC and drove the plastic pinto back to Cville. Overall, the way home seemed much easier than the way there. I just think I do better going west to east. Left to right. Wrong to right. Time zones screw me every which way no matter where I'm at in the world. Never fails.

But I digress, let's work backwards to my last couple days in the great northern region of the United States. On Monday, we loaded up the truck to go visit a real Glacier. I've seen glaciers in Montana but they pale in comparison to those in the frozen tundra. We saw some on our drive the previous day, but this time we were going to a "private" one where once you sign your life away (and unborn children) you can walk onto the big chuck of icy death. This rocked my socks off. The best part was when I was convinced to drink running and bubbling glacier water on my hands and knees, despite my previous reservations about moose poop and dirt filters. I'll admit, it was pretty delicious and refreshing especially when it came back up through my nose whilst laughing when Rhino started dry humping me from behind....LOOK OUT FOR STINK HOLES!!! People have died in this icy stank holes, apparently.

Throughout this vacay it felt like home: MN men were driving me around in big trucks (cough cough Brian), whilst playing country music, and with my feet sometimes hanging out the window. There was lots of swearing which included ending every statement with "bitches" or "cheese dick" or finding the word "asshole" somewhere in every conversation. There were many times where I laughed till I may have wet myself a little, and in my thick book that is a good sign of an amazing vacation. I came home with a suitcase of clean clothes, and a backpack of seasoning and hops which I swear probably look like pot and drugs in the TSA x-rays.

Thanks Bridawg, Rhino and Coopster my little poopster for an amazing vacay!!! Love you all very much. Now move your sexy bitch asses back to MN so I visit you there more often.