OK size matters, I get it

Soooo I remember one of my therapists from back in the day saying to me, "LL, to most men, size matters." I suppose this statement is true to men more than women--although I shouldn't generalize to my entire gender--OK this statement is true to men more than LL. I try hard not to discriminate with size because I hate being judged myself. My everyday life recently has been filled with reminders that size matters:

• Per LL turkey holiday traditions, I put up my christmas tree last weekend. But this year I decided to take it down a notch since I'll be out of town for over 2 weeks. The last two years (1 and 2) I've got 8 foot tall trees to my ceiling, crammed them in the plastic pinto, and scratched the shit out of my arms. This year I downsized to a 2 foot tall real tree, owing to my new montra that size matters (aka, walk soft and carry a small purse). My tree looks like the one Elizabeth picked out for Sammy Sam/Joshua.
  
• I was looking at photos from the girls beach trip and thinking "Damn my boobs are huge" and not always in a good way (OK all the men are probably thinking this is a size that matters!). Really? Are the girls that big? Yep, I believe the answer is yes.
  
• On Black Friday my goal was to buy a new "big" suitcase since my non-carry-on is 15 years old, a heavy hardcase, and duct taped due to a crack that exposes my fundies. I researched, clipped coupons, elbowed through the crowds and ended up buying two big 360 spinners (one to be returned). Turns out they were so big they didn't fit in the plastic pinto's trunk!!! What the f??? As I said to Momma B, they came up to my waist which I thought was OK until I remembered my hips are 4.5 feet off the ground!! If I fill those things they will be 100 pounds and TSA is going to rape me. OK, note to self, you are big but that doesn't mean you need big things....
• Also I recently had to serve a warning reminder to my family that I am loud and have a large personality. We are preparing to embark on a 2 week trip to a teeny tiny Caribbean island where we have rented a 900 square foot condo. I called dibs months ago on the first 600 feet since I'm the tallest and my personality takes at least 500 square feet!!! I'm going to have to remember to tone it back, less LL, more quiet.
• This montra was also apparent at the B-more wedding....less LL, more southern catholic...I didn't want to scare all those SC-ians by being the loud yankee!
  
• On the personality note, I've realized recently that I am a "good" professional because I'm alot less LL--I'm LL in a box while in the office. But as soon as it's 5 PM I have to break loose. I need dance parties, loud music, lots of laughter, car windows down, and spontaneity. Occasionally at work I break through but I really try hard to keep my larger than life persona under wraps (I learned that the hard way in WA).

Right, walk soft and carry a small purse. Got it.