for those living in office space

I found you a present. Well if you are stuck in a cubical like in Office Space, or if you have a jail cell of an office with no window. The latter is where I work, the former is the life of my sister stuck between McBetty and the big LL.

This new product will give you the feeling as if you aren't suck indoors with no hope of anything beyond your office walls or stand up divider. Enter the Bright Blind. Yes that is right folks, this is a device that attaches to your business and simulates a blinded window. Yeah you can really open up those blind or do anything else with them, but still:



Just think if you hung this on a divider and not even a real wall. That would be great. Stick it administration!

problem solving skills

We need more critical thinkers in this world. Yep, higher order thinking is important. Take this guy at the airport. He totally knows how to make the most of a real shitty situation by figuring out a way to  charge his phone:




See there's no problem you can't solve if you just use your head. Hands free bitches.

Whoever put the damn outlet 40 feet up the wall does not have any higher order thinking skills. Seriously. Stupid.

casual friday just got alot more fun

I like fashion, always have. And I like to surprise people. And I like to tell you your business. Enter the most perfect casual Friday attire I've ever seen, especially for unapologetic perverts:

Hmmm, is that a cock or your legs? I'm not sure. Stylish no matter how you spin it!

I plan to turn the office into an impromptu bachelorette party with these fashionable-yet-comfortable penis-covered slacks. Let's admit it, times may change but a field of throbbing cocks is a classic look that will never go out of style. Sure it could cause a few minor "issues" with HR or with my bosses, but really there shouldn't be rules for casual friday.

Well it's a real good thing that these come for both men and women alike. And they only cost $50 so in reality it is a steal--a penis covered retail deal!!!! Penis pants for everyone, and when I say everyone I mean everyone. I'm gonna pull an Oprah and yell/point "you get penis pants" and "you get cock leggings".

Again, you're welcome.

man candles, you're welcome

So I just read about some new products for all my man friends. I got alot of you out there that I love lots and you are ALL going to be getting the following gifts, courtesy of some pretty fan-fuckin-tastic people at Yankee Candles:

 

OK what the bloody hell is this? I mean what smell is "meat sweats"?!?!?! Other notable new scents include: Riding Mower (clearly cut grass) and First Down (no idea, something with football, maybe leather pigskin?).

Boys don't burn candles. That's a female smelly thing. Or a single old cat lady thing. Yeah, cats and candles, both sad in older woman. Sweaty ball candle, also sad for men. Just say no.

Not sure there is a market here but we'll see how Yankee does. I mean I'd buy one of each just so I could see how bad the smell really was. But this is coming from someone who has 40 reed difusers in her home....

Man candles for everyone!