time to start measuring your penis again

Well every couple months, or biyearly, an article surfaces of some correlational research relating to penis size. This is similar to the idea that your foot is only as long as your wrist to your elbow (now as you go try this consider how crazy you look attempting to lay your forearm flat on the ground next to your foot--only extreme yogies can do this!). Whenever these reports happen everyone starts measuring and remeasuring and measuring again (for good measure) their penises. Don't worry, no matter which angle you take I still prefer mine at a good 12 inches, 13 to be safe....

Anyways, the new article caught the attention of the MSM (this is a Palin term for the main stream media--you know not FoxNews), and in particular Time magazine. Really, Time? Well that means it is for reals news. So here is what you need to do:

• Create a ratio of the length of a man's index finger to that of his ring finger.
• Then divide by 20 (your desired length).
  
• Then take the natural log and square it.

I think the more important issue here is whether or not people will know how to create ratios or just do some direct measurement. We aren't smrt enough for ratios, but you had our attention at penis. Also important to note, the sample of this study was 144 Korean men! Well that is representative. And according to this website, Asian men have some serious small ratios to begin with.

This finding has to be spurious.

So go ahead and start measuring, but you should know more about the research-related language. Apparently, there is something going on with your dimensional perspective and your penis. For example:

• "The data suggested that those with a lower ratio, whose index finger (or second finger, 2D) was shorter than the ring finger (or fourth finger, 4D), had a longer stretched penis length, which is well correlated with erect size."

Well what about 3D? Sure sure it is all flat or in the matrix.