well no shit

This isn't a surprise. I mean for god sake we're in a recession or something. Now go get a job you lazy piece of crap! True statement, this picture of the day:

preparing for Vday

Well Single's Awareness Day is fast approaching, and some of my favorite old people are already sending you greetings. This will serve as your reminder and I suggest that you start preparing for how you will spend this corporately promoted, made-up Hallmark holiday. For example, I will be spending it in a bottle of red wine. But for many of you it might be important for chocolates and flowers. Well thank god the people of Walmart know what we all need and have conveniently placed these ideas in one end aisle:

If you have to end your night with what's on the bottom shelf, your Valentine's Day probably didn't go as well as anticipated. I mean you should start at the top and work your way down...

Happy f-ing Single's Awareness Day. Boooo.

home depot does it again

What is happening at Home Depot lately? They really need someone to proofread their signage, between the erotic aisles and now the racist signage, I hardly know what to do with myself. The sassy, snarky side of me is having a field day with HD:

"Well, sir, I hate to break it to you, but no, we don't sell white conical hats in the 'white power accessories' section. They're on the KKK aisle. Next to plumbing."

misplaced erotic signage

Did Home Depot go from hardware store to hardcore sex dungeon when I wasn't looking? Because these sound less like helpful household items and more like the lyrics of a Rihanna song. I'd ask the nearest employee, but he has a ball gag stuffed in his mouth.....just a hypothesis. Again, this picture of the day is more evidence why LL should be your all time proofreader:



Well thank God there is no interest if I use my HD card! Clean up in aisle 15, but hide your kids.