everyone needs an afternoon snack

Americans get such bad reps. Seriously. I know, we're fat and lazy and such. But we work hard, we don't take vacations, and we deserve to be able to ride public transportation eating straight out of a bottle of Mayo while wearing completely mismatched clothing without being criticized:



You know some people just aren't as fortunate as you. Some people can't afford organic veggies and Acai juice. Instead our mid day snack includes a large helping of that magical white fat-fused goop. Why spread it on a sandwich or mix it with some tuna when you can lick it straight from the jar?

I remember back in the day watching a handful of teenagers who would eat french fries with spiced mayo. Instead of dipping in some ketchup, it was mayo (on a side note, did you know that some school districts tried to make "ketchup" a vegetable as part of a healthy diet being offered at lunch? now that is sad). McNasty. To me, mayo is flavorless. Really what does it add? Besides some bags on my hips.

Dear amazing bus lady, may I suggest down grading to Miracle Whip? Half the fat, but still the same level of equal grossness.

Can we guess in what city this is occurring in? I vote D-town.