don't buy me hammer pants

Momma B called me at work the other day to ask if I would like some new Hammer pants. I felt like I had time traveled back in the early 90s. I told her I needed more information. Where was she? What did she want to buy? Turns out they where fancy tie die wide leg pants that roughly resemble the now broke MC Hammer (ooooOOOoo) wardrobe. I stamped a big hells no on that business, stating the "no room in my closet" excuse.

Anyways, this warranted a little comparison from one of my favorite websites:

You know I'm not a big fan of those hipsters. I mean what is with those horrible tight jeans. They do absolutely nothing for me. Don't you wanna let your balls get some air? Sometimes they just need to roam free alittle. And don't you think the tight jeans make your big platypus feet look more like Ronald McDonald.

And the color, oh the mismatched horrid compilation of colors. We need to get you people a color wheel and work on complimentary matches. Then you can match your wardrobe with your moustache, and then offer me a ride. Handlebar rides for LL plus a rendition of can't touch this (ooooOOOoo).

You know the good thing about Hammer pants...you can pull a Kris Kross and wear the pants forward and backwards. I swear, no one will know whether they are on right or wrong because they are baggy all the way around.