eat my shorts

Hmmmm, I think your shorts might be too small, too tight, and not fit:

I don't know whether to feel bad for her because she can't afford another pair of shorts or to applaud her for simply getting those things on. Either way sexxxy!

this would not be me

Despite popular belief, this would not be me:

GROSSSSs. I won't even know if that is a guy or girl, and that is just sad in many ways.

your nose is a turtle

Have you have noticed how amazing, yet equally nasty the human body is??? We had a great conversation recently about how two seperate people this week mentioned to me that I had nice feet. And I was like, huh, that is strange. Then someone suggested they eat off of them, and then I worried we were broaching a fetish area...

But I digress...so did you ever notice how the nose is a little like a teenage mutant ninja turtle??? Well if not, there is a new website you should find some time to peruse. I like their website tagline:

• "God is the artist. I just find the ninja turtle in his work."

It is pretty wicked and here are a couple of my favorite pics:



Yooo Biggie. They call me big poppa. Ahhh.



What nose ninja is....or something yoda like with all the words mixed up.

let's play: fill in the blank

OK let's play a game. It will be fun. Trust me...

Take a look at the picture that surfaced this week of the CA Governator going back to his muscle building, roid taking roots. Let's all brainstorm this age old question: What is Arnold Schwarzenegger thinking? Arnie is thinking _____

• The Situation looks terrible!
• That tan has be to all natural
• I wonder where they keep the maids around here...
• He could probably kill me with those thighs
• Ah the good old days when peach-colored bananana hammocks were acceptable
  

How in the world does anyone think that is attractive?!? Gross. Totally nasty. That image will continue to horrify me for the rest of the day.

everyone needs an afternoon snack

Americans get such bad reps. Seriously. I know, we're fat and lazy and such. But we work hard, we don't take vacations, and we deserve to be able to ride public transportation eating straight out of a bottle of Mayo while wearing completely mismatched clothing without being criticized:



You know some people just aren't as fortunate as you. Some people can't afford organic veggies and Acai juice. Instead our mid day snack includes a large helping of that magical white fat-fused goop. Why spread it on a sandwich or mix it with some tuna when you can lick it straight from the jar?

I remember back in the day watching a handful of teenagers who would eat french fries with spiced mayo. Instead of dipping in some ketchup, it was mayo (on a side note, did you know that some school districts tried to make "ketchup" a vegetable as part of a healthy diet being offered at lunch? now that is sad). McNasty. To me, mayo is flavorless. Really what does it add? Besides some bags on my hips.

Dear amazing bus lady, may I suggest down grading to Miracle Whip? Half the fat, but still the same level of equal grossness.

Can we guess in what city this is occurring in? I vote D-town.

holy back hair

Wowsa. Put a shirt on. That is horrifying. That hairy, that gray. The stuff of nightmares:



PS, where the hell is this picture taken? There is all kinds of weird happenings going on here. Case and point:

• Is that old dude wearing ski boots?
• Is there some guy in the background with ski googles (to the right)?
• Is it like 90 degree, sunny and no snow?
• Is there someone topless wearing a straw hat (to the left)?
• Do you think that old dude is Santa on his summer vacation? Could be. We need some frontal exposure to indicate a beard, yes or no.
• Could that old dude pull up his jorts any further? Maybe he could make it so they cover up his entire back. And frankly, as tight as those jorts are you really don't need a belt!
  

Well this is definitely the picture of the day. Odd and entertaining all at once.