let's call our friends

This one is for all the up and coming parents out there (I'm talking you, R). If I was a new parent, these are the things I would try to do with all those annoying toys. Here are some things you need to know as a new parent:

• The big side of the diaper goes in the back
• Don't over heat the bottle
• Never toss or lift children over your head (they will also puke on you)
• Sleep whenever you can
  
• And this, dial 3-6-9 for laughter:

Holy balls I enjoyed that. I've been watching it over and over and over, and giggling.

Yep, I'm going to be a great parent....